In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

[Mandarinthyme]

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

How do you know she bought all these items with the money from this job. She most likely owned these things before she joined.

Are you going to be jealous is someone buys a house you can't afford and talks about getting a new kitchen or bathroom done.

Ironically in my company only yesterday, we have virtual meetings to catch-up with each other and the senior manager on 6 figures made a passive aggressive comment to a graduate who said they had just come back from holiday. He was saying wow this is what your third holiday abroad in a real snarky way. I mean so what this is someone on far lower pay and they can afford to go away that many times good for them, they dont have or a mortgage or kids. Its like you can't talk about anything like holidays, doing up your house without someone saying its insensitive or they get jealous.

She applied for the job and got there on merit and experience. Her outward display of wealth might not be to you taste but is the relative norm of many "celebrities" and " influencers" that I'm sue many of your compatriots probably follow on line.
Rather than get upset why not use it as impetuous to aim higher and get a similar role yourself. Get qualified and move on up!

The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR

Surely you are joking??? Do you think HR will tell her to go to a charity shop to buy some clothes which won't offend the whole team?

She already owns these clothes and accessories, so why should she not wear them?

Your "whole team" sound ridiculous!

you want to complain to HR and dictate what someone can wear to work. You do know people can spend the money they earn on what they want. Are they not allowed to go on holiday as the others in the team may not be able to afford it?

You sound ridiculous.

Some friendly advice isn’t learning the hard way. Why are you pretending it is?

If the boss has noticed the unrest, they are likely to tell the team that they are bullying a senior colleague and that no company is willing to out out a dress code with a maximum spend per item. Or tell a grown adult what brands are acceptable or not, because a group of bullies are circling

What a negative attitude to have. Positive people would aspire to achieve so they could have nice things, if they wanted them. Your attitude, and that of the OP, is that is up to others to lower their expectations, to meet yours! Unreal.

I suggest examining your snippy attitude. Clearly you are missing the point entirely. The whole world of work is full of unfairness & disparity, & you focusing on one woman's ostentatious dress style isn't going to increase your salary.

Out of interest, what exactly would you say to HR? Also, do you think your negative & abrasive attitude has any bearing on why you wouldn't be considered for a higher paying role?

I don't get why you care. I really don't. Unless you want those things I don't see why you're getting jealous. It's not like she's getting wads of cash and going LOOK HOW MUCH MONEY I HAVE.

Interview for promotion:

Panel: why should we consider you for this role?

OP: because I deserve it.

You didn’t have to look up how much these items cost. You sound nosy, petty, gossipy and mean.

You’ve missed the point. It’s not her salary that’s the issue, it’s her insensitively showcasing her wealth in front of us in a very tasteless and excessive way

No, we are not missing the point. As long as it adheres to the company dress code, of course she can wear what she wants! You are being utterly ridiculous- you sound petty and jealous actually.

This is one of the most batshit things I’ve read on here!

You don’t want her to wear nice things because you can’t afford them? Should she dress in primark to make you feel better about yourself?

Please go to HR, I’m sure it’ll give them a giggle, absolute lunatic 🤦🏽‍♀️😂

Totally agree

Actually I can see how the bosses ostentatious dress would grate in a time of collective hardship when people are struggling for the most basics. So yes, I see her point and validate her feelings. However, I don’t think there’s ground for any form of complaint and in the same situation if I felt it was dragging my daily mood down that much, I’d probably look to change jobs.

Tearing down others doesn't raise you up.

Maybe focus on improving your own situation rather than worrying about hers. I can assure you she isn't losing sleep obsessing about what you wear to work - maybe take a leaf out of her book.

I've not read the whole thread because quite frankly OP you sound insane.

My advise would be to please go to HR OP and then report back here. I'd love to know what they say when you tell them you and your mates are complaining about your manager for dressing in a too polished manner and it makes you feel sad because you can't afford those nice things 😂

...but if you DO go to HR, please, please, please report back. It would be amazing.

Sadly yes u r being totally unreasonable and so are the rest of your team.. is she coming into work half naked? If not then its up to her what brands she buys...if I could afford it I sure as hell would indulge now and again in designer...just my opinion.

It's in bad taste, but you have to let it go. Tell yourself it's fake, she's a kept woman or whatever it takes to move on.

I get it though. I work for a charity where a lot of lower earners wages are topped up by benefits and the CEO puts out these videos where he's in front of his racing vehicles talking about how we're all in it together. Sure dude, sure. The excuse is that we all should be ourselves at work, but honestly, he needs to read the room.

Would you say the same thing about a man wearing a Saville Row suit into the office? I know op has dipped out, but this point is important.
Its not nice being the one bitched about in the office, and although op wants to think otherwise its very common for a group of women to bitch about that one women in management. I used to hear it all the time. The younger women would flirt and giggle around the man who dressed well, wore the Rolex, drove the Jag for example but hiss and spit about the woman who did the same - "who does she think she is". I remember a Moschino belt being a particular source of deep offence!
Instead of complaining to HR because she is doing so well and dares to flaunt it, improve your own position through education, stop telling women what to wear, and stop trying to bring other women down.

Birds of a feather, flock together. What a dreadful attitude to have.

Are you ok? You googled a belt and found out it was expensive, you wish you hadn't, what forced you too?

Your own nosiness and jealousy, that's what!

Look to yourself.

I'm embarrassed for you OP - grow up.

You’d be surprised how many of those labels could be fake and the most expensive items often don’t have labels so the colleague you’re sat next to in a meeting might be wearing £3k dress and owns an understated but expensive handbag and her earrings might be platinum not silver but you’d never know.

I have a delicate diamond sapphire and platinum necklace that cost a small fortune (a gift to me) but most people assume it’s silver and glass stones because they assume a lot like I’m too poor to own nice things.

you’ve just picked up on the garish labels your boss wears and make assumptions she’s the only one with wealth because she’s brazen with it. She could have mountains of credit card debt to fund that. A pissed off husband who wishes she’d reign it in. Got a healthy inheritance young so can splash her cash on these things rather than a mortgage like most people.

it’s you that has the problem here.

I know, I know be really subtle OP, when it is her birthday, club together and get her some Primark vouchers, she'll take the hint then!