In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

[Mandarinthyme]

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

I had a client once commented about my new car (5 year old Porsche), wealthy client who asked, did I not feel embarrassed at driving up to meet new clients in the car. No! I had a very small mortgage by then which I had worked hard to pay off so splashed out on a car which was on finance!!!!

The point is that you do not know much about your manager and her personal finances, she may have wealthy parents, or an inheritance , she may have a sugar daddy. how people dress or the cars they drive do not matter. she may have bought her clothes from charity stores or could be fake who cares apart from you and your colleagues?

@JauntyJinty the ferrari guy was very insensitive but I wonder if he knew you were being told that day? I also wonder if he'd been driving it for a month beforehand whether you'd have had the same response if that makes sense?

TBH I don't think you can compare the Austin Martin as no one would use one as a commuting/every day car so I would expect him to have another car.

Other than your new boss sounds like a 90s throwback (who dresses in heavily branded designer wear anymore ) you all
sound petty and jealous.

I like to dress well, I’m what you might call ‘polished’ when at work. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am in my career and if I want wear expensive beautiful clothes and jewellery, albeit understated and tasteful clothes and jewellery, I bloody well will.

She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation

This is cheeky and very out of touch. However, she does not need 2 separate wardrobes. One affordable one for work and one expensive one for free time. I do know a manager that has 2 cars. One basic brand that she drives to work and then a luxury brand for other driving.

Every company I’ve ever worked in has been like this. The male bosses swoop in the car park in Range Rovers, Porsches and Mercs, all wearing Rolex’s and taking holidays in lovely places. They earn more, so spend more, fair enough I say. I’ve never heard anything more ridiculous than to complain to HR a about someone wearing designer gear. The fact you’ve looked up the price of her belt shows you are jealous or just dislike her. If your team had ‘a heart of gold’ and were lovely people, you’d accept her for who she is and not because of the logo on her handbag.

This is life! What do you want HR to do? Make her buy her clothes from Primark?

How do you think junior doctors feel watching consultants pull up in their fancy cars and do shorter hours in their designer clothes?

Sadly thats life im afraid

@Ekátn

No, ….. I say again, I would not want this young woman, new to her job, punished or facing consequences other than being encouraged to grow up a bit and see the bigger picture. She needs to realise that her pay is contingent on the hard work, low pay and good will of the team below her in the company hierarchy.

To be clear, what I wrote was…

“Sounds like overkill and it’s possible her boss has already noticed so she might have to learn the hard way ……….”
What I mean by that is that it’s possible her boss might have noticed the unrest from the team and if so, might take this new employee to one side and offer a bit of friendly advice…..Advise her to use her intelligence to read the room and remind her how much she needs the team on-side if she is to be successful in her new role. For a new, young Head of Department, if that happened, the realisation from such feedback could be a hard, albeit valuable, life lesson.

i reiterate …the OP is not being unreasonable to feel the new HOD is insensitive.
I would not advise her to go to HR. i didn’t mention that aspect of the OP’s post because plenty of PP had already done so.

I work with lots of people on better money than me. I genuinely never register what anyone is wearing (unless their skirt is tucked into their knickers or they're showing too much flesh). Be funny if they're 'swanning' around thinking oooh NooNaked must be checking ME out today in my Versace belt when really all I'm thinking about is whether there are any more Hob Nobs in the kitchen.

Let people wear whatever they like, be more Hob Nob.

OP, you cannot go to HR over this, anymore that you could about someone who talks about their pregnancy all the time while someone has had a miscarriage.
I do agree, however, that it isn’t helpful to team morale and I thank God I don’t work in a place where people do this.
The best thing you can all do is ignore it. Dwelling on it is not going to help you.

Oh my word!! 🤣🤦‍♀️

You're jealous that your boss wears nicer clothes than you, and want her to be told off for...wearing nice clothes!!

Have a word with yourself!!! 🤣🤣🤣

Unless the six figures are well into the six figure range, or her expenses are crazy-low, or she is getting some massive discounts somehow, she is not buying Cartier and Rolex galore on a £100k salary. Even the smallest, most subtle of Cartier bracelets would be almost a month's worth of take home salary and could hardly be described as a flash item. Ditto a fairly common, used Rolex.

I've earned that, plus some, and a Tag (singular) was still a well considered item even at that salary.

What's wrong with someone having a 4x4? Is it just because others may not be able to afford one, boo hoo. It's life.

Oh dear OP. You’ve no idea when the clothes and accessories have come from.

they may well be fakes. Fakes are really good these days. You don’t know what she has bought second hand. I like mulberry bags. I have four. I didn’t buy any of them new. I buy second hand for a couple of hundred pounds. Sell on and then buy another.

you have no idea where her money comes from pre the job and salary you saw. How she spends here money is her decision.

OP I am very low paid. I don’t actually earn enough to pay tax.

BUT my car is the most expensive in the carpark. I wear more expensive clothes than the others at work (not designer but Hobbs, Reiss etc), I have many nice handbags and nice jewellery. This is because that is how I live and dress because as a married couple we can afford it and I’m not going to be a bargain version of myself just to please other people.

The BOSS has a choice of two cars - a Tesla or a top of the range Audi. She wears serious designer clothes and accessories and holidays in the Caribbean- because she EARNS that sort of money and lifestyle. I don’t want her workload or level of responsibility so I don’t have her money.

No point in being jealous if I’m not trying to improve my lot myself.

I think it's fair to say that s you've taken to looking up her belts online you certainly are jealous and petty.

Absolutely though take it to hr that you feel her clothes are too expensive for you , Am sure HR could use a laugh 😂

My point being that something is not adding up.

If she's just in the 100k range than this is not at a level where you can just blow money on high end designer stuff and not have to suffer for it.

If she's higher than that - say 250k - then the phrase 'we are lucky to earn quarter of that' means OP is on £60k+ and not really quite as low down in salary as the post sems to suggest.

I worked with someone who was bank of mom and dad and also earned well commented when a colleague said they were going to treat themselves to a takeaway the weekend (is was known this person had recently become a single mom and money tight) that it was not a treat a treat was a designer handbag from selfridges. She was always putting down and trying to change cheap and cheerful lunches we organised. In the end we stopped asking her .

As long as she's doing her job and not dressing like a prostitute or something, I don't see the issue

I agree she is being completely insensitive and the posts saying she has the right to wear what she likes are completely missing the point. Any sort of flashing the cash is tawdry and anyone with even half a sensitive brain cell would understand that at the present time there is a huge disparity in wealth and most people are struggling so it is not classy or kind to be wandering amongst her hard working minions dressed like Imelda Marcos on speed.

My boss (smallish company, around 20 people) has a selection of nice cars including a Ferrari. Should I demand he buys a Nissan Micra so that my poor old 3-series doesn't look so 'upstaged' in the car park?

If anything it's made me consider going it alone and achieving more in my field in order to enjoy the spoils of my labour more. I certainly don't hold it against him (nice bloke too)

Isn't this why schools insist on school uniform?

Jealousy is an ugly colour.

I do think she's being a bit insensitive, but unless she's being derogatory about you/your clothes, there's nothing HR would do. If you're saying shes flaunting her wealth just because she wears clothes you know are expensive, that is not her problem.

Besides that - how does her cosplaying as a "normal person" help you?

If your team are sufficiently upset I think the better plan is that you go to management en masse with a clear case for pay rises for your team. E.g. your rates compared to industry standard, your productivity and performance metrics etc. Or make a case for upskilling to a better pay grade. something which raises your team up, rather than bringing someone else down.

Jealousy is a terrible trait.
Going to HR is silly. If she's doing the job that she's paid to do then it doesn't matter whether she's draped from head to toe in Coco Chanel or wearing a bin bag.
Maybe you ought to just get on with your own work rather than gossipping.