In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

[Mandarinthyme]

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

@Haffiana well I wouldn't be whinging about heating my home to a homeless person for example.

Your example is entirely beside the point, and not what's happening in the scenario described by the OP.

@echt no it's exactly addressing the point. It is okay to feel a bit put out when someone displays excessive wealth to others who are struggling. It's not a HR issue, but I can see where OP is coming from. It's insensitive.

I see where you’re coming from but nothing is what it seems… I make good money but my husband makes an awful lot and so I have loads of ‘nice’ things as a result… I don’t have to work as such but I do because I couldn’t sit at home, if I were at the level the OP is at I’d still have the same things and wear them so i don’t know how it makes any odds.
also - I have a friend who can’t have kids so after years of heartbreak and misery she now says fuck it and buys herself whatever she wants - no consolation against not having kids and she’d swap it in a heartbeat. Imagine someone complaining to HR about her.
just don’t judge anyone

Feeling put out is not an HR issue though. OP is wanting to raise it with HR.

Then what is it?

you don’t want your boss to wear expensive clothes???

if that’s not sexism or jealousy what is not?

Wearing a cartier bracelet etc and saying 'I'm feeling the pinch' when you know the person you are talking to is struggling to heat their home is a bit much. Can you imagine the King of England whining about the cost of living and his heating bill? No, because it's ridiculous.

Why not? Do you think pretending you don't have a house will make the homeless respect you more, or something?

@Haffiana it's being sensitive to someone else's feelings. That's why I also wouldn't bang on about my children and babies to someone who's had 10 failed rounds of IVF and has been declared infertile. It's insensitive.

What do you think HR will say? She can wear whatever she wants. Gucci or George...so what. She's there to do a job.
You have talked about her salary so it does sound you harbour resentment.

It doesn't change reality, but there is something to reading the room and choosing the right time and place.

Plenty of very very high quality fakes around these days. People also tend to buy and sell their handbags etc more these days rather than buy and keep so it looks like they’re constantly buying but they’re actually just swapping in and out. Tbh, it doesn’t really matter what she’s wearing or what she spends her money on. She could just as easily be sitting on a huge pension fund instead of wearing her money. It doesn’t matter.

I do agree that being judgmental isn't good and people can wear whatever they want. I just think from both sides, there needs to be some empathy and consideration.

This lady should not be judged, but equally she should probably read the room a little.

I worked with a colleague in her twenties who could afford designer clothes, handbags, jewellery, cars etc. She always come in wearing designer head to toe and looked amazing. Every shift she had an expensive starbucks coffee latte in hand. She use to tell us all amazing stories of holidays she had been on or that she was planning on going. Also use to show us on her phone pictures of the latest outfit she was planning on wearing on her night out in alderley edge and posh places like that. I use to pay her compliments and was happy that she was doing well.
(If you cant say anything nice, dont say it at all!) springs to mind.

Absolutely agree.

@Mandarinthyme acknowledges the guys wear expensive but ‘low key’ clothing. She knows the price but it’s not ‘flaunted’ like her female boss.

Jog on with your misogyny.

Ok super immature, just give yourself a group get out clause. You can't even see anything wrong can you?

It's a tough one as I do think she can wear what she likes but optics do matter. Look at Rishi been hauled over the coals for wearing £500 shoes.

Wish there were love heart emojis

Perhaps all she has in life is her wealth.

Difference being royals get huge allowance and this person works for wages.

Maybe she has a rich partner/sugar daddy! Or comes from a rich family who love to treat her. Some choose not to have children/can’t have them so they can then treat themselves whenever they want to. Some people have always loved fashion and would rather live in a small cheaper home not amazingly furnished so they can afford to dress in a way that makes them feel good. I totally understand when you’re struggling it’s hard to see the expensive items but she certainly won’t be doing it to rub your noses in it or make you feel poor. There is nothing you can do about it. Much better than her bringing in nits and reaking of BO!

I wouldn’t know a cartier bracelet from an argos one.

if she starts dressing/wearing cheaper stuff, it will not impact the rest of the people in any way financially. It’s not like if she stops buying designer bags and give you the money instead.

she clearly likes these items and it makes her happy to wear them. I’d just let her crack on. Whatever would you want with a designer bag anyway? I use my dog shit bag bum bag as a handbag. Unless you love handbags, a designer one is just a waste. All of the things that you’ve listed - posh belts, bags etc - they’re all just useless stuff.
I’ve never had my nails done. It would just be a nuisance. All I put on my hair is shampoo and sometime conditioner - a cheap cut a couple of times a year.

try to think about it differently. It’s all useless shite that she’s spending money on. You don’t need any of it. It’s her money, presumably she’s well qualified. And presumably this stuff makes her happy.

if you were hungry and she was eating expensive stuff it’d be different. But it’s literally all shite that she has.

@Orders76 Princess Eugenie and Beatrice don't. They work for wages. So does Zara Tindall doesn't she?

Anyway, it's just an example. Interesting thread, I certainly think bitching about someone behind their back about their clothes etc is horrible behaviour, but I will think being overt about wealth when you're around those with a lot less is unpleasant.

Can everyone stop being in good health it offends me as a person in bad health with a disability.

I would actually consider reporting, but that is because I work in an industry where we are supposed to watch for signs of mismatch between income and spending. It is a sign that the person is either doing something illegal or is incurring debt that will soon create so much pressure that they may do something illegal.