In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

[Mandarinthyme]

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

I don't think it's a HR issue, but it's also not unreasonable to 'tone down' a little to cater to others feelings. I certainly wouldn't be wearing £20k of clothing and handbags if all of my colleagues were struggling to heat their homes and feed their children. Even the royals tone down the opulence during times of famine and war.

Are you really sure everyone feels upset by this? It seems an over reaction. Your team have no idea what her debts or real family financial situation is. And so what if she actually can finance these silly bags and silly shoes. Personally I’d consider them shallow and pointless.

Er, no. She asked our views on a public forum.

Snorting at “hearts of gold” types who spend hours bitching about the bosses clothes 🙄. Get a grip.

Stripedbag is spot on if this were a fifty something bloke bet this wouldn’t even occur to you as an issue.

The only silly comments are the ones by you.

You all have hearts of gold but are essentially BULLYING this woman because you are jealous of her and are feeling insecure about your own financial status?

Hundreds of posters telling you that you are being totally unreasonable yet you think we are the silly ones?

Bully.

Please don't go to HR - that isn't what they're for and it will reflect badly on you.

Unless your firm has a clear policy of no fancy stuff - she has done nothing wrong.

She's enjoying the benefits of working on her performance and her personal brand, and would not be getting that amount if she wasn't considered worth it.

So instead of acting like a bunch of jealous teens ganging up on the one whose success makes you feel insecure, try seeing her as a role model and invite her to become your mentor.

She knows how this stuff works. You can benefit from her knowledge - and learn how to polish up your own image in the office til you've developed the confidence and the presence to ask for a raise.

Surely OP's boss should hauled up in front of a huge panel and made to grovel about her "normal" choice of clothing. Rip off off her nails, stand there and strip the colour from her hair, and offer to give her designer clothing to a charity shop.
Then next week, OP will be starting a thread about her boss wearing Primark clothing as a way of taking the piss out of the people who are struggling.

I give up.

Good, because she’s not wearing clothes AT you.

@Dillwyninthebath understood, but some of the comments on here about the OP are quite bullying.

Thinking about it I used to work with some super rich colleagues. My office mate felt down that her boyfriend had not proposed so bought herself a huge pink diamond ring. I thought it was awesome didn’t occur to me to be offended. She was from a rich family end of.

“Everyone in the team has a heart of gold”
So we sit around bitching about a new manager because she’s younger, glamorous and has nice clothes. Yes you all sound lovely.

“genuinely hardworking lovely people”
Who not only sit bitching about people behind their backs, sit googling their manager’s clothes to try and find out how much they cost.

Gosh I bet you’re knackered.

@Plmoknijb123 hilarious

Please, please, please go to HR about this. Hurry - do it tomorrow! Let us know what they say asap.

Oh and stop comparing op and her coven to teens my 14 year old and her pals are far nicer than this bunch !

She deserves it if she’s trying to ring lead a group of bitter women in an office to try and get this woman involved in HR for WEARING CLOTHES.

Honestly it’s pathetic and juvenile behaviour from the OP. It’s like something at high school.

Designer clothes are normal clothes. A pair of trousers is a pair of trousers, whether you paid £5, £50 or £500.

How old are you? I’m trying to decide if you’re old and bitter, or young and bitter…

How would that work, precisely?

Take your time.

I would think the same, good on them, they are not responsible for my reactions. Maybe work on that op instead of tearing down others and you’ll find that better job that you tear your colleague down over.

I don't think that's OP's intention. My view is just that generally, it is better to try and fit in a little, rather than wear say £100k ring and whine to a homeless person about your Range Rover breaking down etc, while you are working in a soup kitchen 'for your CV'. It can come across as offensive and insensitive, even if it's not meant that way.

Obviously picking on someone because of her clothes is wrong, but both sides have to yield a little.

You are 100% jealous ! Presumably she’s worked hard for the nice things she has , why should she feel like shit and dress like shit to make all of you happy ? Imagine the shows on the other foot and she went to HR and said she was upset because you all wore primark clothes! Imagine HR having a convo with you and saying sorry you cant wear all these nice fancy things you have worked hard for because it upsets the people who haven’t worked as hard as you and don’t earn as much as you. You all majorly need to grow up, if all you have got to worry about in this life is whether or not a young woman is going to come to work in balenciagas then you are winning at life

I’ll go against the grain here and say I think I agree with you. I do think it shows lack of awareness and sensitivity but agree with PP that there’s bugger all you can do about it.

People are jumping on this as bringing down successful women but for me this is actively rubbing inequality in peoples faces that are struggling right now regardless of gender. I feel like I sympathise somewhat with the OP as during the pandemic working in healthcare adjacent role I was constantly in meetings with exec leadership one of whom (a man) would take his meetings in his huge garden and would regularly comment about how lovely it was to work remotely and enjoy the garden. I did complain because morale was through the floor and this total disregard to empathise with staff who obviously didn’t have the same luxury and were frankly putting their health on the line in hospital everyday was poor form. We lost over 50% of staff (inc myself) over that period.
When there is such wealth divide I do think it’s part of the responsibility of leadership to be more subtle unless they want morale to drop. Personally I don’t think I would notice jewellery/watches so maybe I’ve gone off on a tangent and am comparing apples and pears but I sympathise with the feeling at least.

Oh for goodness sake, that's ridiculous. I've honestly never heard anything so stupid.

The designer stuff could be fake for all you know!

@CityKity agree. This is exactly my view as well. Empathy is important.

They have homes? What about the people who don't?