To ask why you gave DC his last name?

[Tsort]

If you kept your name/aren’t married, but gave DC their father’s last name (as opposed to double barrelling or giving them you own), may I ask why?

I explained WHY i didnt keep my surname which in-turn explained WHY my kids have their Dad's name!

Geeezzz - lightenup!

I should probably explain, I simplified things a bit to stop my original post from becoming an essay. Basically, the first either of us knew we were having a baby was when my DP went into labour. (Think Sonia on Eastenders Christmas special).

We were two under 25s less than 11 months into a relationship that wasn't going that well, and suddenly there was a baby in the middle of it. We talked about adoption in the first 24 hours, we talked at length about our future in those first 10 days or so.

DP was going to be the primary caretaker to start with, even if we stayed together. She was living with her parents and there was no room for me. I was living in a houseshare with 2 other people. It took us 4 months to get to a point where we could live together, and more importantly were sure we wanted to live together.

By the time we took DD to be registered at 2 weeks or whatever it was, DP had bonded with her. I hadn't really. I wasn't at the house all the time, and when I was, DP and her parents were on top of everything, had everything worked out, and I was trying to work out my relationship with my child whilst also feeling like I was intruding. I knew I wanted to be involved, knew I wanted this child, but she was a responsibility to me, she wasn't a person yet. I think to DP, giving her my last name was a way to try to prove that link, that bond

I’m not ‘picking apart’ anything. I asked a straightforward question that isn’t applicable to you. You (despite allegedly understanding the question) decided to…just write something anyway?

I don’t care why you took your husband’s last name, which is why I didn’t ask. And, as you did, I am also not interested in why your kids have his last name. If you decide to ‘go off on your own tangent’ and answer questions nobody asked, be prepared for people to assume you misunderstood the actual question.

That all seems perfectly fair, then (not that you need my sign off). I’m pleased everything worked out for you!

'People' - you mean you!

You are clearly just coming across as aggressive for some reason to many of the people who have totally innocently replied to your post.

Hope you've 'calmed down' a bit today - it's nearly the weekend!

I teach siblings at school at the moment. I thought they looked very similar, we're only a year and a bit apart, but had different surnames so wasn't sure.

Turns out that the eldest has dad's surname and the youngest has mum's surname. Parents are unmarried and that's how they decided to get round the surname dilemma. White British, so not a culture based decision and both children are the same sex, so not liked to that either.

Never known if it before.

Again, all been painstakingly explained to you.

And, yes, please do.

OP: "If you aren't married/kept you own name, why did you give your DCs their dads name."

PPs: " I gave them my name" or "I took my husbands name and gave it to our dc too"

OP: "ummm... thanks. But that's not what I asked"

PPs: "you're so rude. We're only answering the question..."

Next time I see a thread asking "if you're 5ft 7 and a size 14, how much do you weigh" I'm going to answer that I'm not 5ft 7, or a size 14 but weigh x.
Or if someone asks which shampoo is best for curly hair ill tell them that I don't have curly hair but I use L'Oréal.

I mean I'm only answering the question. My answer is irrelevant, but I'm answering anyway.

This is perfection. Thank you. 🤣🤣🤣

She's an absolute delight 😂

That must be why you keep coming back. 😂

@WeDontNeedToTalkAboutJamie’s post sums it up beautifully.