To be annoyed that dh drank a burning hot cup of coffee while holding our newborn...

[queenrose7]

...or am I just being PFB?

I can't bring myself to use a hot water bottle again 🙈

I don't blame you there.

I'm not surprised that you aren't over the shock either. That may take a long time after something so traumatic. I'm so sorry that it happened but very glad that it wasn't even worse, terrible as it was. It's terrifying that you could have lost your remaining eyesight.

Please be gentle with yourself. I hope that your physical and emotional scars heal in time.

YANBU. I've never done this with either of mine. One of my friends from school is covered in scars on her face and torso from a hot drink being spilled over her as a baby. It just never occurred to me to do this.

Aww thank you that really is so very kind of you!

I mainlined burning hot coffee in the early days. To be honest, mine was a good sleeper, I just really like coffee.

I tend to spill the ones where a person is laying on me and they lift their head or arm unexpectedly and knock it out of my hand....

Get him told - this has to stop as it is a very real risk. I don’t drink hot drinks so am wary but I would not have been impressed if anyone had done this while holding our DC.

Same

I always tend to spill my hot drinks so I would never do this while holding a baby

When did he last spill coffee on himself?

When did he last spill coffee on himself?

This is completely irrelevant.

Adults rarely spill coffee on themselves (although still do sometimes).

But if there is something moving around in your arms then the chance of spilling your coffee increases massively.
Even if the baby is asleep, it doesn’t mean it won’t jerk or wake up.

Be mindful of mobile phones too.

They're slippery feckers when browsing during feeds.

I nearly dropped mine as I'm sure 1000's do until they realise how slippery and hard they are.

I think if he drops his coffee down his front without a baby in his arms then he shouldn’t be drinking it with the baby there. If he doesn’t then I’d advise him to lean to the side to drink it but would have no problem with him drinking it. Most women have a drink while they breast feed and some of those drinks are tea or coffee.

You don't have to throw your hands up. They just have to be nudged enough for the liquid to spill out the cup. It doesn't have to be OH a while cup of coffee thrown into the air.

Anyway I'm out of this thread now it's too upsetting for me.

IMO if you aren't comfortable with it, then he shouldn't do it.

I drank tea whilst breastfeeding my daughter all the time, it was only when she became a toddler that I stopped because she was waving her hands and legs all over the place.

YANBU.

It's a pointless, unnecessary risk - just lean over to the side or buy a travel mug and you can drink hot coffee to your hearts' content 🤷🏻‍♀️

Of course you don't drink a hot drink over a newborn. It's just common sense and basic safety.

The chances are spilling it are slim, but it's not worth the risk. It does not make you anxious to be pissed off by anyone doing that. Basic safety.

Fair enough to be worried, I never allowed anyone to do this with my DS; it gets even more dangerous as they get older (as do parents dripping tea on other people's kids during playgroups when they pick their way through). It would be best to just explain your reasoning gently though, "I'm worried if the baby shouts or suddenly wriggles that you could spill coffee, please can you lean to the side to drink it so any spill wouldn't hit the baby?".

My friends all take the piss when I say I don't trust tiny babies, because they're freakishly strong when they decide to lurch around in your arms, and if anything happens to you, people will say it's Your fault, haha!

But it's true. Baby lurches can be pretty vigorous. And that's coming from a pretty tall and strong woman.

Plus why the eff does he even want to drink it at that temp!

I previously would have agreed with all the people flexing how laid back they are! But now having had direct experiences of serious burns in my family, it’s just really not worth the risk. It’s so easy to avoid as well, just so unnecessary. You don’t need to be holding a scalding hot coffee that’s too hot to even drink, over a baby. Excruciatingly pain for a very long time and severe scarring is what you’re risking for baby.

YANBU, it’s a completely unnecessary risk to take.
I don’t think people always realise how much more vulnerable babies and small children are to being burnt with their thinner skin.

And it’s not about the person holding the baby being clumsy. I’ve spilt drinks plenty of times before because people have bumped my arm or hand while I’ve been holding the drink.
A baby could easily, and unpredictably startle and bump a parents arm / hand with a limb while the parent’s holding a drink. The possible consequences of that if the parent is holding a burning hot drink rather than a cold drink could be horrific.

It depends on the positioning. Sat down with baby lying directly under cup = no way. Baby in left arm, cup being lifted with right arm and the actual drinking happening parallel to, as opposed to directly above, baby = something I would do. I am not clumsy though, and would ensure baby was out of line of danger. I would do that intuitively. Moves like this are high risk with a clumsy person e.g. my husband.😐

YADNBU. Not worth the risk!

Agree you shouldn't drink hot drinks over a baby.

My mum told me she was advised this by her health visitor when she had my sister in 1966 and I think people were a lot less PFB in those days.

He did well to be able to drink hot coffee!
I used to put hot drinks in an insulated travel mug - less chance of it getting cold, and safer.

YANBU

Don’t have open hot drinks around small children period. It’s not a difficult ask. At the very least, put it in a travel cup with a good. tight lid that closes properly. Ridiculous to risk the safety of a baby for a hot drink.

I had a 2 yo charge whose thighs were burned because someone thought putting their cup of coffee in her pram cup holder while she was asleep would be fine. She hit it when she moved in her sleep, knocking it over and it spilled all over her thighs. She ended up with second degree burns. Her thighs were wrapped in bandages for weeks until they healed. They did heal fully and there were no scars, but it was something that could have been easily prevented.