To be bloody pissed off that school are annoyed that my son can't breathe?

[Mrsweasleysclock]

DS suffers from asthma. It has been a struggle to get it under control and this time of year always comes with a flare up. He has been breathless and coughing with chest tightness for a week now, hasn't been in school in this time. We've had to take him to the hospital twice, once by ambulance as he couldn't catch his breath for an hour so called 999. I have kept in touch with the school everyday giving them updates.

This morning I get a letter about his poor attendance and threatening further action if his attendance doesn't improve.

I am fuming. I understand they have attendance standards to keep but surely if you were concerned you could have had a chat with me any time when I was in dropping/collecting DD. Or even act like you care about his health rather than making it seem like I just haven't bloody bothered to bring him to school.

So mumsnet, talk me down because I feel like going to war over this with the school.

Yabu: the school have procedures to follow

Yanbu: they could have discussed his health/attendance informally first before going down the formal route of sending a letter threatening action.

Goodness - save your energy and atleast try and understand it isn't the 'school's' fault fgs. Attendance has to be reported on and scrutinized at many levels and they would much rather be focused on other things but the law simply doesn't allow them to. Get over it and stop causing a scene.

That's absolutely shocking. Imagine receiving that 😥

Actually, the problem is the school's action. Ill health is a defence in law; sending indiscriminate letters is not consistent with the framing of attendance legislation. If schools are indifferent to the distress this causes to families who are already coping with disabilities and long term health conditions, then yes they do need a polite reminder. Treating children and families with disabilities and long term health conditions as though they are truants is offensive and potentially unlawful.

Words from my mouth
the only way for “it’s our policy, we have to send the letter” to change sometimes is to unleash the righteous anger on them

So, on top of having to deal with her son’d very serious illness (asthma kills), she has to deal with the school being “computer says no” twats?

there’s always one

@alltheevennumbers well said. Too many schools are hiding behind a policy to disguise laziness in applying it correctly.

We are not numbers and should not be treated as such.

And peole should not think it is acceptable behaviour either.

When this happened to us (Dd was about 8 or 9) we didn’t get an automated letter, but the head had a quick chat in the playground. “Is Dd ok? How’s she feeling now? Is there anything the drs/ hospital can do as she’s missed a lot of school?” Etc

After that i had a word with our GP and that is how Dd ended up being on montelukast. She hasn’t had an asthma attack that involved any kind of a and e / hospital trip since then and she’s 13 now.

On montelukast - realise I’m in my 30s, unlike the op’s child, but it was very good at controlling my symptoms. Had to come off it recently and back I am on salbutamol almost daily.

He got prescribed montelukast tabs yesterday. Fingers crossed it helps the same way it's done for some of you. He's still off today, quite wheezy still last night.

YABU

Has he been given a course of oral steroids OP? The montelukast may take a few days to start working.

BTW I started an asthma parents’ support thread last year but it didn’t really take off… shall I try again? Somewhere for us to come and moan and share our worries and tips?

I'll follow!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/childrens_health/4658023-asthma-support-thread

Does this link work? If not, it’s in childrens’ health.

Yes he had a 5 day course of prednisolone. Finished with little to no relief.

@Mrsweasleysclock I'm so sorry. This is ridiculous. Your poor son has got enough to cope with. It's a bit different, but I've been though the same. I had really bad problems with my back when I was at college, and I received the same attendance letters as you described, despite keeping my tutor fully informed. It's so rude and unhelpful.

I'd just have a word with school about how these letters are impacting your son. I hope he feels better soon ❤️

Thank you. I did speak to school and I said I'm happy to have a meeting. They more or less said to ignore the letter.

I'm relieved, but it's such a horrible feeling to receive the letter in the first place. I feel bad for any parents that it would scare into sending very unwell children to school for fear of consequences.

@Mrsweasleysclock you're very welcome. I'm glad that the school are open to meeting with you.

I agree with you about potentially sending children to school under those circumstances. I think schools should consider the impact of this before sending these kinds of letters.

Do Local Authorities set their own policies and procedures individually? So you could have a different approach to this issue depending on where you live?

Is the national guidance just guidance or does it tell LAs exactly what they have to do?

DfE set the regulations (legislation) and the guidance, not schools or Local Authorities.

That I'd ridiculous your son is not well. Not much you can do about it. I hhink it is disgraceful to send letters like that when a child is genuinely ill. Health comes before their stats.

the letters should be targeted and some should just have a permanent or temporary block flag (terminal illness or bereavement). I suspect cuts in councils as well as schools haven’t helped.

I do know some of why they are sent though. Years ago I worked in local government as an education solicitor including prosecuting parents for low attendance. it was seriously low attendance (about 50- 60%).
They would do truancy sweeps and find children with flu out shopping with parents. (We didn’t see the ones with depression where the illness is compatible or even may help with being outside.)

A large number would say they were aware it was bad/the consequences and that’s what you’d say the headteacher wrote 4letters then welfare team had a meeting.. a letter from solicitor. All the letters would ask about issues like bullying as parents would say for the first time in court their child was being bullied.

It did actually work sometimes, though not always.

YANBU

This happened to me with my daughter. We were so worried about her and were aware that she off too much, but she was literally in hospital so of course she couldn’t also be at school.

I sent a reply that reiterated the situation (as it already been explained) and asked in a slightly pointed manner for any advice on managing DD’s condition to allow her to attend school.

It was made slightly worse because I worked at the same school, so the members of staff sending the letter, ie the head and admin staff, knew the situation and how worried we were. Yes, it was “automated,” but the the head apologised and said it should have been caught and not sent to me due to the situation with DD’s condition.