To be bloody pissed off that school are annoyed that my son can't breathe?

[Mrsweasleysclock]

DS suffers from asthma. It has been a struggle to get it under control and this time of year always comes with a flare up. He has been breathless and coughing with chest tightness for a week now, hasn't been in school in this time. We've had to take him to the hospital twice, once by ambulance as he couldn't catch his breath for an hour so called 999. I have kept in touch with the school everyday giving them updates.

This morning I get a letter about his poor attendance and threatening further action if his attendance doesn't improve.

I am fuming. I understand they have attendance standards to keep but surely if you were concerned you could have had a chat with me any time when I was in dropping/collecting DD. Or even act like you care about his health rather than making it seem like I just haven't bloody bothered to bring him to school.

So mumsnet, talk me down because I feel like going to war over this with the school.

Yabu: the school have procedures to follow

Yanbu: they could have discussed his health/attendance informally first before going down the formal route of sending a letter threatening action.

“Go to war” with them? Grow the fuck up.

I asked them if they had changed their policy on vomiting and should I send her in with a bucket in future? There's really just no need. The school would have rolled their eyes back at you and moved on. They have to follow policy, they have to send the letter and that's that. It's up to you how you approach it. Getting all defensive and sarcastic is just a waste of your time and energy. Pointless.

Can I just ask people - if you were choosing a school for your child and its ofsted wasn't great and one of the main issues was that attendance was poor and the school wasn't doing enough to improve it, would you still choose that school for your child or would it put you off?

I'd be fuming too. Your son's health is far more important than flipping school attendance. He could do some school work at home if he felt well enough,

You are filling up the thread with accusations of people posting defensively curly haired assassin. It's getting a little pot- kettle-black.

This is exactly where the attendance measure falls over. Any kid with an illness gets treated the same if they are not in school. It's stupid.

Be nice to school but be assertive. Your child has a health condition tgey need to understand that. You can evidence his hospital/doc record, they can then give permission for the absences.

Tell them to talk before sending aggressive letters out. They are not automatic like an overdraft letter is. It might be a template, but someone has to write it which means the school can do an appropriateness check.

I know it’s an automated letter but there is nothing stopping them from sending an apologetic covering letter

Both his class teacher and headteacher are well aware as I have filled a form out at the beginning of the year when I gave an inhaler to school to be used for him.

I have also followed the absence policy as outlined by the school.

All of his absences have been authorised by the school.

It is because I have done all these things and still got the letter that I started this thread.

You are welcome to carry on assuming that it's my fault and I'm open to hearing what else you think I should have done.

Blimey, you're one of those parents.

I think you are misunderstanding what an automatically generated letter is.

Blimey, you have an overactive imagination and you obviously didn’t RTT.

Sorry for the misunderstanding

45 pupils per year group

1 and a half classes per year group

All other schools have 3 classes per year in my area. That's why I thought my children's school was small.

As someone else said, it’s not just an automated letter, it has to printed out and they are signed by the head at our school. The last thing any family needs when there child is off, for health, mental or physical, other difficult home situations is a threatening letter from the school. And yes they do come from the school. The school have to follow the draconian legislation yes, but do they have to treat family’s in a computer says no way, no they don’t.

I don’t know they are the same thing his attendance is low due to illness, with out illness his attendance would be up… so it’s a bit of a conundrum..

Yes, I filled a form as that is the appropriate way of notification that the school require medical conditions to be told to them. It is documented so actually more appropriate than a 5 minute chat that will probably be forgotten about later.

Also he is in primary school so only one teacher who I have actually spoken to at length about his issues (not just 5 minutes) as she is the one to administer his inhaler.

I also do teaching with him at home to keep his brain engaged and to make sure he doesn't fall too far behind.

Keep the jabs coming if it makes you feel better. And sorry you feel the need to be so horrible on here.

Schools need to behave lawfully. They have an anticipatory duty to make reasonable adjustments for children with disabilities or long term health conditions. Further, sending hostile letters to these families has the potential to constitute harassment under the same legislation.

Yes, and they also improve as the seasons change too. AND we are aware that doctors don't often diagnose asthma until they've reached a certain age etc etc. So no, none of those fluctuations or improvements are anything to do with attendance letters obviously. There really is no need at all for anyone to get ultra defensive about it. None of it will be aimed at YOU.

The thing is, that when a letter comes through the post to you, with your name on it and your child's attendance data, it is literally aimed at you. The addressee. The recipient.

But they can't discriminate and only send letter out to those families they THINK may be having cheeky Friday afternoons off, or with Monday morning hangovers, can they?

They can, actually, by maintaining a proper database that enables them to see which children have health conditions with parents who regularly engage with the school on said issues, share evidence etc.

They send the letters and attendance goes up - otherwise why would they send them?
just pop it in the bin and think no more of it.

Fist pump? Snarky wee 🙄? Fucking hell - who pissed on your chips.

I am simply advising people not to behave defensively whilst discussing absence with the school staff. That’s a bit different to accusing them of posting defensively. Sometimes people have a rant about school on here and feel better for it then go in next day and speak calmly to the school and the issue is resolved in one conversation.

there is nothing wrong with asking the school if it’s possible to take your child’s letter out of the mailing or if it is just done automatically. There is nothing wrong with explaining to them how it made you feel and suggesting ways it might be worded differently. Schools often welcome the different perspective of a parent on things like that. . But is there any point in going in on the defensive all guns blazing If you KNOW there is nothing you can do change your child’s attendance pattern?

I actually did want a discussion. Which is exactly what most posters have given me. Its been a mixed bag between some posters understanding how i felt and others thinking policy is policy. For the most part this thread has actually helped me see that even though the letter read like a telling off from the headmistress it wasnt that at all.

I feel as though you have made assumptions about something lacking in what I should have done. Even though I've said a few times now that I followed the school policies and that the school has authorised all the absences. Its not possible for me to detail on here every form of conversation or documentation I've had with the school regarding DSs health. I'm happy to answer questions and listen to suggestions. But I feel your messages have been sarcastic/argumentative.

Sorry if I'm misunderstanding you or if I'm mistaken in the way that I am interpreting your messages.

I'm glad it's not just me thinking these messages are coming across badly.