To be bloody pissed off that school are annoyed that my son can't breathe?

[Mrsweasleysclock]

DS suffers from asthma. It has been a struggle to get it under control and this time of year always comes with a flare up. He has been breathless and coughing with chest tightness for a week now, hasn't been in school in this time. We've had to take him to the hospital twice, once by ambulance as he couldn't catch his breath for an hour so called 999. I have kept in touch with the school everyday giving them updates.

This morning I get a letter about his poor attendance and threatening further action if his attendance doesn't improve.

I am fuming. I understand they have attendance standards to keep but surely if you were concerned you could have had a chat with me any time when I was in dropping/collecting DD. Or even act like you care about his health rather than making it seem like I just haven't bloody bothered to bring him to school.

So mumsnet, talk me down because I feel like going to war over this with the school.

Yabu: the school have procedures to follow

Yanbu: they could have discussed his health/attendance informally first before going down the formal route of sending a letter threatening action.

I agree. I had this when DD was being investigated for cancer. I had to regularly take her out of school for tests, biospises and appointments.

When I got the letter I just emailed the school, and started off by saying

Dear x
realise that this letter has been automatically generated, but etc etc.

I found by not being confrontational I got the school onside, and they stopped sending me these letters.

DD didn't have cancer BTW.

Except they’re only communicating robotic information irrelevant to @Mrsweasleysclock situation.

Also ‘we realise some illness is unavoidable’ - really? Which illnesses in school aged children ARE avoidable?

Well I cannot think of any!

A copy of prescriptions? Is none of their business to know what medication your child takes while ill.
I have no experience of British schools in this respect but in my home country once a child moves to secondary they get a card that a doctor stamps when the child is ill and off school. In primary school parents just write a note and its considered absolutely normal to stay a week or two at home while ill.

Well the boy would have presumably had to discharge himself from hospital against medical advice in order to go to school to improve his attendance, so yes, in this case they are absolutely the same thing.

School admin here.

I have to send the letters out and I am told to have no discretion by the headteacher, my manager. I will apologise verbally to any parent I see when I know there’s legitimate reason.

Do not get shitty with the receptionist/admin as they are not the ones making the decision about the letters. Do ask to speak to the attendance officer or whichever member of staff is tasked with this role.

It wasn't the teacher, however the letter is signed off in the head teachers name. It's a very small primary school, 45 students per year.

Once again I understand that it's policy. I just don't think this policy is particularly helpful or the correct way to deal with things. I think it's a horrible way to pile on to parents who are already going through enough with their children.

If I do have a meeting I will be pointing out that as the letter was sent out on behalf of the head teacher, perhaps she might like to discuss rewording it.

Exactly.
Your child has a legitimate reason to be absent.
Other vulnerable children don’t.
The school has policies in place and they’re not all about you.
One quick drama-free chat or email is all that’s needed, then you can get on with focusing on your DS. Hope he settles soon.

Just to add its sent out once a threshold is hit. A list is generated from the SIMS school system based on whatever percentage of attendance the SLT decides is appropriate

The school has a duty of care to check up on these absences and these letters are often sent automatically, as requested by the local authority.

But in this case they already know what the absences are for, know they are authorised, and know there is nothing the parents can realistically do to prevent them short of sending their child back to the shop and requesting a new one, so what the hell is the point of the letters, apart from to aggravate and upset parents who are already dealing with a seriously ill child with a potentially life-threatening condition?

Automated or not, I find this ridiculous. Their policies are obviously a bit off. They know your child is seriously unwell and that you obviously know about him not being at school so they should just keep quiet.

But they can't exactly look into in detail every single child's file... And who then determines whether or not each case is acceptable?

It is quite annoying though and I was sent one of these letters at Christmas last year when my DD was in year 1... She had had two sickness bugs, and two separate cough/temperature things when we'd gone to get Covid PCRs...

Surprised we didn't get another one after that tbh as during the rest of the year she actually had Covid, chicken pox and then a five-day temperature with no apparent cause...

touch wood two days of term to go and no days off yet...

The made up ones are very avoidable and there are a vast number of those. The Friday isn’t fun tummy ache. The 24hr cold caused by the teacher who is strict about homework deadlines. The chlorine allergy that only happens for school swimming lessons and not at water parks or on holiday. The I was given a PS4 on my birthday, and I want to play it when my parents are at work, anxiety attack. The I need another cheap holiday outside term time because the last four holidays were not enough. The covid close contact that I never actually had contact with.

These are all ones I have come across. It can be symptomatic of deeper problems but often it isn’t. Luckily I don’t have to deal with attendance.

YABU. It’s pretty common knowledge that this isn’t the school’s choice to send them. We received one last year due to Covid, at parent’s evening the teacher literally said it’s fine to file it in the bin.

The schools absence system should have certain letters for a variety of reasons; ours for example uses M for medical and as long as it can be evidenced- text, letter, admittance paperwork- it counts as authorised absence.

Your school attendance officer sounds like they could have stopped that letter.

I would raise it with the head and if not, via governors.

I hate these letters they are pointless when it comes to cases like yours. My daughter received 2 last year (never had one previously)because she had 2 periods of sickness which lasted a week and then a few half days where she was sent home by the school for non existent temperatures, no word of a lie they would send her home with a temperature of 37.2!! I hit the roof when I got the letters.

I got one of those letters when my son had major surgery which had a 6 week recovery. I was fuming too. Told them it was insulting as they 'urged me to get him to improve his attendance'

That’s a larger than average primary school

YANBU. I would write a complaint letter to the head teacher if it was me to get it off my chest.

But the DfE DOES expect schools to monitor attendance, and act on persistent absenteeism, and be able to prove to them that they are doing something about it.
What do you expect schools to do?
I work in an infant school so it's an age group that is often genuinely sick.
But national and local guidelines means that we have to send out these bloody letters anyway.
You can read for yourself, and by the way this is just a short summary, the actual document is huge this year:

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1073619/Summary_table_of_responsibilities_for_school_attendance.pdf

Page 9 and 11 will be of particular interest.

Schools are stuck between a rock and a hard place. They have to be seen to be doing something about low attendance, because they are told they must. They have to be seen as having the same expectations of attendance for those with medical conditions as with other pupils, which seems ludicrous to me. No LA would fine for absence due to a genuine medical condition but the expectation is that they should all have the same opportunities to attend school as a person without any health conditions yadda yadda. It's all very worthy, but in practice? Hmmmm...

You'll notice that through that document is an expectation that parents must work with the school, and if they have a medical condition or SEN to help them understand the barriers to their child's attendance. It's better all round if, rather than getting all uppity and defensive, you simply work with the school and have genuine dialogue with them. They don't want your child attending when they're genuinely ill any more than you do. Sometimes these letters almost feel accusatory, but try not to see them that way, particularly this time of year when all it takes is one or two days or illness and your child is already in danger of becoming a persistent absentee, simply because of the way percentages work over a short space of time!

For every parent who does their best to follow the guidelines and send their "a bit under the weather but will manage" child into school dosed up on Calpol, there is another who lets their child stay off at the drop of a hat, with no good reason. The latter are who schools are trying to pick up with these policies.
If you engage with the school, have proper dialogue with them, keep them up to date on any health issues and GP visits/medication etc, state that you're worried about getting an attendance letter but you're unsure what approach to take etc etc, then school will see that as doing your best to comply with the policy. They can make suggestions on how to improve the attendance eg suggest you send them in anyway, and if they are miserable and unable to concentrate or are very sleepy etc they will call you to collect them. Or maybe if they have a sleep in the morning and seem better for the afternoon session, send them in for the afternoon, as that will be one session marked in. It's all about compromise. Meet them half way and they'll do the same with you. Ask THEM for advice on what you can do.

45 students is 1 and a half classes per year group. The average where I am is 3 classes per year group.

It is beyond infuriating.

one of children had such a letter. However, he had multiple hospital appointments, due to a medical issue which also kept him off school at his worst, which they counted as absence as he did not get in until 10.30 - so they counted it as a half-day absence. I felt like asking the school to fund private medical care so it could be in the school holidays - as NHS never were!! Plus he had to have surgery - necessary, but still an absence. Then post the letter there was a sickness bug going round the school and they were phoning parents to collect children. I asked them if they really wanted me to get him, as they were very keen to send letters about improving absence and I was happy for them to keep him ( said very much tongue in cheek!!!) Then they would not let him back for 48 hours, despite the fact he was only sick on day 1.

thankfully the surgery did the job and they no longer have poor absences.

The worst was a child who got knocked down on the way to school - they got an absence letter despite the fact they were in hospital and needed major surgery, then part-time hours due to physical injuries sustained!!

I can not see on this document where it says specifically that: schools must write to parents of children who have explained absences due to a health condition.

I personally would a write a complaint letter to the headteacher. And I would expect never to receive one of those letters again!

I had a congratulations your child is currently on 100% attendance then it went into all the details of discipline and the knock on effect of absence with education and all the steps they would take for unauthorised absence....can I just point out again my son has 100% attendance? What's the noise for ffs this is probably his first 100% just move on to people actually skiving school