To be bloody pissed off that school are annoyed that my son can't breathe?

[Mrsweasleysclock]

DS suffers from asthma. It has been a struggle to get it under control and this time of year always comes with a flare up. He has been breathless and coughing with chest tightness for a week now, hasn't been in school in this time. We've had to take him to the hospital twice, once by ambulance as he couldn't catch his breath for an hour so called 999. I have kept in touch with the school everyday giving them updates.

This morning I get a letter about his poor attendance and threatening further action if his attendance doesn't improve.

I am fuming. I understand they have attendance standards to keep but surely if you were concerned you could have had a chat with me any time when I was in dropping/collecting DD. Or even act like you care about his health rather than making it seem like I just haven't bloody bothered to bring him to school.

So mumsnet, talk me down because I feel like going to war over this with the school.

Yabu: the school have procedures to follow

Yanbu: they could have discussed his health/attendance informally first before going down the formal route of sending a letter threatening action.

English schools just get worse...

@girlmom21

its not the receptionist - schools have attendance officers who monitor attendance.

The children who are sent home sick, then off for a few days, with parents who are present and in touch regularly and have other children attending as normal are not likely to be an issue.

Did the OP say that she was in England and not Scotland, Wales or N.Ireland?
Must have missed that.

These letters are so awfully worded and it's really upsetting to receive one. We had one last year as DD had 2 chest infections and then covid. I had kept the school fully informed each time. Her breathing was so rattly with the chest infections I wasn't prepared to send her to school where they get sent out to play in all weathers as I thought she would recover more quickly in the warm house than the damp playground. She had antibiotics for both chest infections and I took her to A&E when she had covid as I thought she needed them again as she was rattling again and the GP refused to see her and sent us to A&E. Our letter stated that any further absence would be unauthorised without medical evidence. I wrote them an equally shitty letter back stating amongst other things that there is not always medical evidence available and that after the great homeschooling debacle nobody wants DD in school more than I do. I did not hear back from them. DD is off today as she had D&V at the weekend. This is the first absence this academic year, but taking that as an example how on earth would you get medical evidence of that. The GP won't be interested, you can't be seen when you have something that needs to be seen so the likelihood of getting a letter for D&V is quite remote. It's infuriating OP though I'm not sure that writing to the school does much good. File the letter under R for Recycling.

YANBU, the last thing you all need is any stress from the school on top of your son being ill. The communication from you should have over-ridden any automated response.

When I got the first one of these letters I was v upset for similar reasons to you. My daughter had been off due to two stomach bugs in a row and had a horrible few weeks. It didn’t seem too much to cross reference her attendance stats with why she’d not been at school. But the wisdom of mumsnet highlighted that they’re automated letters and to just let it go.

If the reality is that the school is only sending this because they have to and they know full well it's ridiculous in OP's child's case, it shouldn't be up to her to call them to establish that fact. Really someone should have the sense to stop the letter going out - it can't be beyond the wit of computer programmers, and why should the school waste postage on sending such pointless communications? But if they feel they have to send the letter, then they should add a note explaining that OP can safely ignore it.

YABU, the school has to monitor attendance.

You have the correct documentation so not sure why you are so upset.

@BlueRidge good point. I just assumed she was in England. Either way, schools in England are abysmal at the moment.

Kind of.

This absence should be authorised.

No "evidence" is required in law for health absence. School policy might be to hound you for it - but their little policies are made up and not what the DfE direct or expect.

OP make sure you ring in or email every day he is off and be clear

The letter is basically automated.

the first time I did start to get angry, especially since all of the major incidents were triggered at school.

then I realized the letter was a formality. I have the medical records to back up all of my dc’s absences. If the school ever tried to bring any actual consequences it would be ridiculously easy to defend and would go nowhere. It might even give me a chance to put on a public record that schools do not do enough to protect children with asthma during the school day.

No automated letter bollocks to hide behind there! What bastards.

The fact that the school is documenting low attendance doesn't make it one jot easier to get medical evidence. GMC guidance is that GPs should not be wasting their time providing sick notes for school children. If the school really wants the medical evidence, it may have to pay for it.

@ZeroFuchsGiven oh my gosh that's so sad!

Exactly. Whoever sends ridiculous letters like this surely also has a brain they could engage to add a cover note.

I would complain about this,OP.

They may well “have” to send a letter but that is appalling.
I’d be inclined to shame them in the local press. A National will pick the story up, too. When did British schools become so prison like? I’m shocked at the punishments for forgetting a ruler, not having regulation hair, shoes, socks etc…

One is a direct result of the other 🤦🏻‍♀️. Come on now @girlmom21

Even if if the school has them sent automatically, someone prints and then posts them and they should all be checked to see if the child they relate to has a health condition first 🤦🏻‍♀️

The fact that it's automated doesn't excuse them actually sending it.

I'd request a meeting with the head. I'd passively aggressively ask how I could work together with the school to get rid of his asthma and improve his attendance, what solutions could they suggest. Bloody idiots.

@CatchMeIfYouCanCan but the school aren't annoyed at the health condition, as OP has claimed 🙄

I got one of those in very similar circumstances. I had been in daily email contact with DD's head of year. I absolutely hit the roof when the letter arrives from the council. I phoned the council and asked if the letter was automatic and they said no. They visit the school each week and have a meeting with each head of year and decide who should get the letters.

Loads of schools it seems are being an absolute pain in the arse about this, and seriously overstepping their remit into the package.

It's a result of the new Schools Bill (which may now be dead in the water) and the overzealous Children's Commissioner calling for a ludicrous target of 100% attendance.

In actual fact, schools are clearly instructed NOT to ask for medical evidence unless they "doubt the veracity" of an illness. Yet they persist.

YABU. They have hundreds of children to keep a track of. You’d be moaning if he was playing truant and they didn’t let you know.

My friend got one for her DD who had been in and out of hospital with tonsillitis all year (why they can't just cut them out these days is a whole other thread). It coincided with a less than sympathetic letter from her employer about her own attendance so she lost it, called the school in anger and ended up bursting into tears on the phone. The person who sent the letter was the receptionist she was speaking to. She was very very apologetic and reassuring. All she received was a report with percentages and then she worked through the list and logged who had been sent a letter and when so someone else could pick it up and escalate problem cases. Reasons for absence were in part of the system she didn't have access to "because of GDPR". They've now realised that she does have a legitimate reason to access that data and have changed it so she can refer any explained absences higher up before sending a letter. It was a silly process to start with but some managers just don't think until it goes wrong.

As pp has pointed out. It was the tone of the letter being rude and unsupportive. I understand that letters might have to be sent as per policy but it needs to be worded better.

I am in England.

The absences were all authorised which is also states in the letter so again, not sure what the issue is.

I emailed in everyday he was off. So at least they can't pretend to not have known as there is a written record thankfully.

I have calmed down now. I politely called the school office and said I'm more than happy to have a meeting if one is required but if my son can't breathe properly he won't be in school until it is under control.

The letters make no sense. I had one when my son was having serious kidney problems and was under GOSH care. The school knew this. It was regularly the school sending him home as he was in so much pain. We still got a letter.

Yes I know my child's attendance is low. Right now I am worried about keeping him alive. Can we do that first?