To be fuming..

[sarah8484]

Im at work, dp is at home with our dc 9 months and 13 years. 13 year old is off school sick. Ive just messaged ds on my lunch to see how he is and he has messaged back and said my dp (their dad) had left my 13 year old alone to watch my 9 month old while he went out for 10 minutes. Ive never gave my 13 year old that responsibility before. He said she was playing and he said be back in 10 minutes and just left. Im not going to say anything till im home but can't believe he actually did that!

One person posting is a random opinion. Several hundred agreeing shows your opinion is in the minority to say the least.

Have not read the whole eight pages, and am probably going against the flow here, but I don't think it is fair to ask an older sibling to look after a baby. What if something actually happened? The older child would bear the guilt for his whole life. Having said that, I did babysitting for other people when I was 15. But a 13 year old is too young to be given this responsibility.

A compete overreaction - and "fuming" ??????

Your DP is allowed to make decisions regarding his own children surely, and it was only 10 minutes.

Tbh I don't think decisions about when a 13-yr-old DC can watch a baby should be made unilaterally by either parent. Giving DCs more responsibility is always a joint decision in our house.

Some 13-yr-olds would be fine watching a baby. Some wouldn't. It all depends on how much experience they've had. I often watched family babies when I was 13. But I wouldn't leave my 14-yr-old to watch a baby. They wouldn't know what to do if the baby choked. They're not attentive enough to notice if baby popped something in its mouth, etc. They wouldn't know how to calm an upset baby, etc.

And they will never learn how to do any of those things with your attitude.

Tbh I don't think decisions about when a 13-yr-old DC can watch a baby should be made unilaterally by either parent. Giving DCs more responsibility is always a joint decision in our house.

Sometimes one parent might not have that luxury and have to make a decision then and there.

Why would they not know what to do? I did at that age.

He can't be on his own for 10 minutes at 13?

Am I missing something?

Sorry, I didn't realise Dad's weren't allowed to make decisions about their children OP....

looked after my baby sister for longer at 13

We have a massive salad. Keeps us full for 3 days. Might have some dust if I’m feeling snackish

No idea why some posters are pretending a DC wouldn't get to do anything because the parents decide together. We don't find it difficult to make a joint decision about our DCs
Also loving the notion that every 13-yr-old has the exact same capabilities regardless of experience. I can only assume those posters haven't met many 13-yr-olds. Capabilities vary wildly as does ability to cope under pressure. It's almost like they're mini people

You are missing the baby. Op upset because baby left with 13 yr old babysitter for 10 mins.

Last month your youngest was 6 months old, when you posted about your lazy partner.

It may well be that you're very stressed, OP, but there seem to be issues with what more pedantic people might call consistency.

It very much depends on why your oldest is off sick and therefore whether he is able to care for a baby (or himself even)!

Of course a child wouldn't be removed for an isolated incident - notwithstanding that it's very difficult to imagine what kind of "incident" might happen while a teenager plays peekaboo with an infant for 10 minutes.

I think it's absolutely fine to leave a 13yo babysitting a 9mo for ten minutes.

Presumably their dad is as capable of making judgment calls about this sort of thing as their mum is.

@JockTamsonsBairns depends what the isolated incident is!

Indeed. Perhaps aggravated assault? Murder?

What other isolated incidents would lead to the removal of a child, assuming no previous concerns?

It obviously depends on the 13 year old and the OP hasn’t told us enough about her DS for us to know whether her concerns are unreasonable or not. If he’s NT and reasonably mature for his age, then she’s being very unreasonable. I have three nieces, one of 13 and two older teens, and they would all have been responsible enough to be in charge of a baby for a few minutes, no issues.

But if he has SEN, then that’s potentially a very different scenario. My DD1 is 13 and has SEN as well as adoption related attachment issues. She’s also very emotionally immature for her age. So there’s no way I would leave her in charge of a baby for any length of time.

It also depends on how unwell the OP’s DS is, but I didn’t get the impression from her post that this was her concern.

@JockTamsonsBairns quite. 🙄

Why the eye roll?
I asked a genuine question, as I'm struggling to imagine what sort of isolated incident might happen in the space of 10 minutes - where a family are previously unknown to children's services.

Because a previous poster mentioned a previous post. And it didn't take much skimming to find that out.

It's not difficult to search you know?? Its not like you need to be Columbo!

13 year old is off school sick. Ffs of course he shouldn't be childminding.