To be fuming..

[sarah8484]

Im at work, dp is at home with our dc 9 months and 13 years. 13 year old is off school sick. Ive just messaged ds on my lunch to see how he is and he has messaged back and said my dp (their dad) had left my 13 year old alone to watch my 9 month old while he went out for 10 minutes. Ive never gave my 13 year old that responsibility before. He said she was playing and he said be back in 10 minutes and just left. Im not going to say anything till im home but can't believe he actually did that!

I don't get the replies on this thread? I'm quite shocked tbh. I'm not a parent, so have no qualifications/experience in that sense, but I'd have thought that leaving a 13 year old to look after a 9 month old was totally not ok. The people making a point about 10 mins and not hours - time is indiscriminate about things going wrong. Something could happen in the first 2 minutes, or 4 hours later.

I'm honestly not judging anyone, but I wouldn't have thought that leaving a 9 month old with a 13 year old, for any amount of time, was something that parents did.

Sorry for being naive, but I can imagine why the OP would be angry about this.

Are these your posts? A lot of back and forth drama in this relationship. Maybe it is time to walk away....?

YABU
It would be good for it to be a decision you’ve reached together and agreed on but it’s definitely not something to be fuming about.

I originally thought that your 13 y/o had left the baby alone for ten minutes. You are completely overreacting. Even if DP had been hit by a bus, your 13 y/o could easily look after a baby or know how to get additional help such as ringing you.

I was babysitting infants for entire evenings at age 12. My younger siblings from age 10. I think a 13yr old can handle a 9mo old for ten minutes.

@HellothereSH I don't have to do anything but you asked me a question 😅🤷🏼‍♀️

Honestly I think some people would start an argument with a shadow on here if they could 🙈

I'd be fine with this too. I'm sorry but I can't see the issue.

I would honestly feel like I'd failed as a parent if my 13 year old couldn't look after their sibling for 10 mins. Or know what to do if something went wrong

I'm not a parent

Since you've never had a 13yo then I wouldn't be giving opinions on what was appropriate responsibility for one to have.

Everyone is the best parent in the world who is never going to expect any of their kids to do anything and are going to be perfect parents .... Until they have kids and reality sets in.

@AllThingsServeTheBeam like I said, I'm ignorant to such scenario. I don't think a child looking after a sibling is a problem - I sat my cousins when I would've been 13, but they would've been 10, 9 and 8, but a child looking after a baby sibling I would've thought a little different. I don't think I'd be capable of looking after a baby for 10 mins, and I'm 41 🤣.

Unless the 13 year old has undisclosed reasons why he can’t be left alone to look after baby for safety reasons or baby has specific health reasons that 13 year old does not know how to deal with I can’t see a problem with the decision. I used to babysit at 13. I could understand if 13 yr old was so sick he was passing our unconscious but like you say he was playing and was alert and baby seemed happy. Sometimes parents have to make decisions on the spur of the moment and because it hasn’t previously been discussed I think YABU to be furious with OH. Talk about it, set guidelines between you on what’s the best action to take son in future there’s no confusion or conflicting ideas.

@melj1213 yes, I highlighted my own inexperience. I stated I wasn't judging anyone, but I am surprised by the responses the OP got. I might not have ever had a 13 year old, but I was one once.

@Vegay It sounds like you don't have much experience of 9 month old babies. Its really not that hard for 10 minutes.

Honestly I think it's less appropriate to leave a 13 year old in charge of a 10 or 8 year old than a baby. 9 month olds are fairly robust and could be left in the cot or pen during that time very safely.

Total over reaction. We women do not have the monopoly on decisions about our children, our husband's do too

Well I think you definitely need to chat about this with DH. I disagree with most replies I’ve seen as we don’t know enough about the situation to make a judgement.

@ShineyCrab probably true. They were little shits 🤣

I was babysitting at 12. I think it's fine.

Totally depends on the sickness.
Bedridden - not good,
Vomitting - not good,
Bit of a snivvel - no issue

I used to babysit when I was 13.

But I wasn't ill.

Leaving a baby for 10 minutes with a 13 year old is fine.

Leaving a baby for 10 minutes with a sick 13 year old is not.

Looking at your previous posts I’m not sure why you’re still with this man, you clearly hate him

I would honestly feel like I'd failed as a parent if my 13 year old couldn't look after their sibling for 10 mins. Or know what to do if something went wrong

This.

And the problem is......what exactly?
Nothing to see here.