To be fuming..

[sarah8484]

Im at work, dp is at home with our dc 9 months and 13 years. 13 year old is off school sick. Ive just messaged ds on my lunch to see how he is and he has messaged back and said my dp (their dad) had left my 13 year old alone to watch my 9 month old while he went out for 10 minutes. Ive never gave my 13 year old that responsibility before. He said she was playing and he said be back in 10 minutes and just left. Im not going to say anything till im home but can't believe he actually did that!

Why not?

I'm sure if he was too sick to mind his sibling for 10 minutes, he would've said so.

Obviously he would have explained it perfectly! Not.

@deathofthesnark yeah but to read through all her old posts from years back and then air it all on here for everyone to read when OP hasn't brought any of that up herself is a bit much isn't it....

It takes about 2 mins to get an overall idea of an OP's posting history.
When so many genuine people try and help people only to find out the poster is a troll or a repeat non-listener, or is omitting essential info in order to glean a certain response, I don't blame people for looking up the background.
In this case, it's actually useful to get an idea of what's going on with the OP.

Not at all.

eg - i post "DH is beating me up every night what should I do"

followed by "DG is not talking to me because I burned his toast"

you're going to get extremely different replies if there is no background

@deathofthesnark
We all have a history which isn't included in every thread. It's up to the OP to share what she wants to share.
I personally think it's just weird to go back years through someone's posts and then post such personal things in such a blasé manner.
But that's just my opinion.

Everyone here has the option of changing your username as many times as you like - if you chose not to do so, then the history is completely fair game.

Maybe it's just me, I don't have the time to trail through someone's posts from years gone by!
Still think it's strange but hey that's my opinion!

Time? It's 30 seconds at best with the search facility. All OP's posts are then helpfully listed like a thread.

I don't think it's strange at all, especially on forums where a good portion of threads are posted by recurring trolls. It's better to waste 30 seconds doing a quick AS, than wasting time offering advice when you can immediately see posters had newborn twins a week ago and now claim to be 65 and nursing a sick DH for example.

In this case OP's other posts paint a picture that she is far from happy in her marriage leading the conclusion that this is probably an overreaction from her and the tip of a rather large iceberg.

@AdobeWanKenobi but then to start bringing up very sensitive and personal titles on a unrelated thread years later.
Weird.
You're not going to change my opinion and I won't change yours and I'm fine with that.

@HellothereSH well as I said in my previous comment I think it's wrong to post sensitive and personal threads in a blasie matter of fact way on a new thread multiple years later.
I imagine if all those threads are true it must've been an awful time for The OP and having been through similar abuse I would be quite taken back someone bringing it up like that.

I don't feel then need to raise it with MN, I've said my bit and happy to leave it at that.

You've said it about 4 times now - we get it.

@TheOrigRights why you directing this at me? I was asked again what my point was so I answered.
Maybe you should've tagged @HellothereSH in that because it's just as annoying have to repeat my point then you having to read it 👍🏼

Crikey, I can't work out the quoting and tagging.

I mean that the person who says it's bad form to do an AS doesn't need to keep repeating themselves.

I think I've felt the way you feel. Your unhappiness is not about this situation. It's your husband in general. Everything he does you will hate/resent because under the surface you have so much anger and resentment. I'm not saying you are wrong, I've been in a miserable relationship for 7 years and felt like such a miserable nag but I've been on my own for a week and I promise that everything feels better. I dont need to walk around being angry, its time consuming and an awful way to live. Maybe you need to accept that the relationship has run its course

They are his children too. You need to discuss such issues and agree what you are both happy with. And make sure you don't treat him like another child!

I was babysitting neighbours' kids at 13!

Don’t be ridiculous. A 13yo watching a 9mo alone for 10 minutes is perfectly fine.

Whats the 9 month old doing?

If my 1 year old was asleep and I had to pop to the shop at the end of the street I would easily leave my 14 year old in charge, it requires zero effort.

I would consider leave him in charge of the 4 year old if I was just going to be a minute but they are more prone to fighting.

I would not leave my 1 year old and 4 year old running around and my 14 year old in charge (would be havok) and I wouldnt go further than the shop on my street.

Maybe he had to walk out and get some fresh air for abit? You know those days when moms feel helpless or are men not allowed to feel like this!? Unless you think he’s popped out to have an affair or buy drugs I don’t see the issue