To be fuming..

[sarah8484]

Im at work, dp is at home with our dc 9 months and 13 years. 13 year old is off school sick. Ive just messaged ds on my lunch to see how he is and he has messaged back and said my dp (their dad) had left my 13 year old alone to watch my 9 month old while he went out for 10 minutes. Ive never gave my 13 year old that responsibility before. He said she was playing and he said be back in 10 minutes and just left. Im not going to say anything till im home but can't believe he actually did that!

An NT 13 yo should be totally fine to look after a 9 yo for 10 mins.

Overreacting much.

Get a grip. You don't own your children solely. Is he not allowed to make decisions too??

You don't get the final say on all parenting decisions if you're in a two parent household and you're not actually the one doing the parenting at this point in time.

Are you really fuming? That's a big overreaction if so.

Is the issue that the 13YO was too sick to look after the baby? I don’t see age in itself being a problem though.

In total fairness to OP, I think she said that they lived in his grandparents' house, as opposed to living with his grandparents.

Just fuming, not livid and screaming?

That's a bit of an over reaction unless there's a backstory?

Drip feed?

I was babysitting my niece at that age for the evening, I really don't see the problem? Unless your son was too ill to actually watch her or doesn't have additional needs this seems like and overreaction

Unless your DP has form for "nipping out for 10 minutes" and being gone for hours on end or your 13 yo is in bed with flu and unable to get up if there is an issue then I don't see the problem.

I was babysitting family - little sibling, younger cousins etc - from the age of about 12/13 and it started with the occasional short "I just need to nip to the shop for bread and milk, can you watch the baby for 10 minutes?" trip out of the house during the day.

Unless there’s some other important information missing then this is absolutely fine.

I can't see the issue. But I'm looking at how sensible my kids were at that age. If you don't trust your 13 yr old then a discussion needs to take place.

my DD did a bit of babysitting last year at age 13- granted not a 9 month old but 13 is more than capable of either playing with a baby for 10 min or listening out for them if they are napping etc if the adult needs to pop out.

Kids are a lot more capable than the modern parent gives them credit for. I assume he plays with/helps with the baby while there is a parent in the house and nothing terrible has ever happened or do you not even leave them in the same room together ever??

I think YABU

10 minutes isn't a long time, surely your child didn't have to do much?! I don't see the issue. He's the kids dad so he can make decisions surely?

I must be completely strange just from reading these comments but there is absolutely no way I’d leave my 9 month old with a 13 year old sibling.

Yes they can be responsible but who knows what dad could have run into while out making it a longer trip and I really don’t feel it’s an older siblings place to do nappies or feeds especially if they don’t want to. A trip out to the bin or garden sure but a trip any further the baby goes with you.

Are you about to add "We also have an angry xl bully that we never walk"? If not, then it's probably fine.

Assuming your 13y/o isn't bedridden with illness this seems fine to me.

Father makes normal, reasonable decision regarding his own children… can’t see the need for uproar. YABU obviously

You're overreacting. 10 mins with a 13 year old who has a phone.

I used to babysit my baby niece (nearly 1) when I was 13. I think it depends on the child.

Was he really 10 minutes?

Sounds normal to me. I can't see the problem unless your DP had gone off for hours and left them.

Sounds like you are looking for reasons to be annoyed at him. He hardly left them overnight while he went to snort cocaine and joyride round the city. Poor man can't do right for doing wrong.