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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be fuming..

305 replies

sarah8484 · 17/10/2022 13:42

Im at work, dp is at home with our dc 9 months and 13 years. 13 year old is off school sick. Ive just messaged ds on my lunch to see how he is and he has messaged back and said my dp (their dad) had left my 13 year old alone to watch my 9 month old while he went out for 10 minutes. Ive never gave my 13 year old that responsibility before. He said she was playing and he said be back in 10 minutes and just left. Im not going to say anything till im home but can't believe he actually did that!

OP posts:
CatGrins · 17/10/2022 13:47

Is he not permitted to make decisions about the children?

ComtesseDeSpair · 17/10/2022 13:48

You need to discuss your approaches to things like this so you know you’re on the same page. If it was genuinely just ten minutes popping out, DP could have returned within a couple of minutes if need be, had his phone with him etc then I wouldn’t put this in the “absolute reckless and he needs a yelling” category. He can presumably make his own parenting decisions about his children.

HighlandPony · 17/10/2022 13:49

He’s 13 not three and it was ten minutes not ten hours.

luxxlisbon · 17/10/2022 13:50

This seems like a huge overreaction imo. Unless there is a huge backstory we aren’t getting.
10 minute to get milk or something and a 13 year old playing with the baby rather than getting them into a big pram suit and getting out the door baby in tow seems fine.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 17/10/2022 13:50

Really can't see the problem

ZeroFuchsGiven · 17/10/2022 13:50

Calm down fgs, he is 13!

KitchiHuritAngeni · 17/10/2022 13:50

Sounds fine to me.

He was there, he made the decision to nip to the shop or whatever.

Does he ever berate you for your parenting decisions?

AdobeWanKenobi · 17/10/2022 13:50

A 13 year old is perfectly capable of watching a 9 month old for ten minutes.

Your husband is allowed to make decisions.

Fuming is a massive overreaction.

Youdoyoutoday · 17/10/2022 13:51

Calm down, it was 10 minutes and 13 year old is more than capable of looking after a settled baby for 10 minutes.

EarringsandLipstick · 17/10/2022 13:51

That sounds completely fine (awaits drip feed)

BuffyTheCat · 17/10/2022 13:51

I think if your 13 year-old is reasonably sensible (eg if he would grab the baby and leave the house if there was a fire) then leaving them for 10 minutes is probably fine.

I don’t think I would do it myself, but I also don’t think it’s too terrible. My mum left me and my brother at home together for a bit longer than that when we were a bit younger… but that was in the 1970s. Expectations have changed since then. However, things rarely go badly wrong in 10 minutes in the middle of the day.

Ponderingwindow · 17/10/2022 13:52

Are you concerned that the 13 year old was too sick to watch the baby?

shopshoparoo · 17/10/2022 13:53

Fuming is overboard. If you don’t want it to happen again then let him know but it seems fine to me.

Whinge · 17/10/2022 13:53

Ive never gave my 13 year old that responsibility before.

My 13 year old Hmm

He's not your 13 year old, he has 2 parents.

Colderthanever · 17/10/2022 13:54

You need to give more detail is he not an equal parent allowed to make parenting decisions?has he to ask your permission?

Milkand2sugarsplease · 17/10/2022 13:54

Unless there is more to this then I'm not sure I see a problem. At 13 he should be sensible enough to watch her for 10 mins. My 10yo watches his 16m brother for me while I get bits done - at 13 I'd be more than happy to leave him if I needed to nip out quickly.

Surely your DH wouldn't leave him if he couldn't be trusted??

Peashoots · 17/10/2022 13:55

You are being unreasonable. He is their parent as much as you, and has used his judgement to make a decision. Unless your 13 year old is at deaths door or has learning difficulties then your reaction is ridiculous.

Mamoun · 17/10/2022 13:56

Are they your DP's children too?

Your 13 year old would be delighted to be trusted with a bit of responsibility...

Zott · 17/10/2022 13:59

I would describe myself as a protective parent, some of my friends have called me over protective. I would be fine with this. If the baby was unwell I wouldn’t be, but otherwise it’s fine.

MayThe4th · 17/10/2022 13:59

If they’re both your dp’s children he’s an equal parent and has just as much right to make decisions as you do, and he did nothing wrong.

If the 13 year old isn’t your dp’s child then you need to take the time off work and look after your own child and not expect him to do it for you.

Autumntime2022 · 17/10/2022 14:01

Depends on how the 13 year is, if they are sensible then I don’t see an issue.

Colderthanever · 17/10/2022 14:01

Must be a major drip feed coming.

deathofthesnark · 17/10/2022 14:01

10 minutes?

13 year old?

Completely overreacting

TeeBee · 17/10/2022 14:01

It's 10 minutes! And your son is 13, not 3.

AdobeWanKenobi · 17/10/2022 14:03

Where are the grandparents you said you lived with in yesterdays thread OP? You also started a thread about how much you hate your husband.
I think your issues probably run deeper than leaving a 13 year old for ten minutes.

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