Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming..

305 replies

sarah8484 · 17/10/2022 13:42

Im at work, dp is at home with our dc 9 months and 13 years. 13 year old is off school sick. Ive just messaged ds on my lunch to see how he is and he has messaged back and said my dp (their dad) had left my 13 year old alone to watch my 9 month old while he went out for 10 minutes. Ive never gave my 13 year old that responsibility before. He said she was playing and he said be back in 10 minutes and just left. Im not going to say anything till im home but can't believe he actually did that!

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 17/10/2022 15:17

10 minutes? You are way over reacting OP.

JockTamsonsBairns · 17/10/2022 15:18

TroublesComing32 · 17/10/2022 15:07

I don’t think I’d be fuming but personally I’d not like it if my DH did something similar. Our 13 year old takes little responsibility for anything and the house could be burning down around them and if they were watching videos on their phone, they wouldn’t notice. A baby, toddler or young child is too much responsibility in my opinion so I wouldn’t leave them.

This is surely hyperbole though?
I have a 13yo DD, so I'm fully versed in how much they can be attached to their phones and be unaware of their surroundings.

However, if I had asked her to watch my (hypothetical) 9 month old, I'd ask her to sit downstairs for 10 minutes, play peekaboo, lay some toys out, bang a drum - or whatever captured some interest.

The risk of the house burning down in the ten minutes I was gone would be vanishingly small.

BerryShots · 17/10/2022 15:24

Watching for the backstory/drip feed......

gamerchick · 17/10/2022 15:25

Going on past threads, the a OP seems a bit irritated with the world in general. Things get amplified when it's like that.

millymog11 · 17/10/2022 15:26

Just out of curiosity, is the 13 year old your child as well as the 9 month old?

AryaStarkWolf · 17/10/2022 15:28

millymog11 · 17/10/2022 15:26

Just out of curiosity, is the 13 year old your child as well as the 9 month old?

It reads like they're both her children she mys 13 year old and calls him DS

LimpBiskit · 17/10/2022 15:32

OMG, I hope they are both still alive when you get home! What an outrageous thing to do!

gogohmm · 17/10/2022 15:35

I was babysitting from 12. Yabvvu

CustardySergeant · 17/10/2022 15:35

LimpBiskit · 17/10/2022 15:32

OMG, I hope they are both still alive when you get home! What an outrageous thing to do!

Get a grip!

SirBlobby · 17/10/2022 15:36

I can see why you're annoyed that he didn't check first. He is entitled to make decisions but I think things like this (what responsibilities to give to a teenager) should be discussed and agreed together so you have a united front and clear expectations.

He should have checked first.

Would I leave a 9m old with a young teen, probs not, but that's me.

ThatGirlInACountrySong · 17/10/2022 15:37

Check first? Who with?

BerryShots · 17/10/2022 15:38

CustardySergeant · 17/10/2022 15:35

Get a grip!

Show quote history

I think he/she is being ironic.

BerryShots · 17/10/2022 15:38

sarcastic even.......

Doowop1919 · 17/10/2022 15:39

CustardySergeant · 17/10/2022 15:35

Get a grip!

Show quote history

This was clearly sarcasm 🤣

Vaccine001 · 17/10/2022 15:39

I wonder how much your anxiety negatively affects the children 🥹

LimpBiskit · 17/10/2022 15:41

CustardySergeant · 17/10/2022 15:35

Get a grip!

Show quote history

Sarcasm?

Whinge · 17/10/2022 15:41

He should have checked first.

He's an equal parent, why would he need to check anything. Hmm

Can you imagine the MN thread if he called and checked with the OP over every small decision? I'm sure he'd be called incompetent, and the OP would be asked why she was in a relationship with someone who acted like a child.

thelobsterquadrille · 17/10/2022 15:41

SirBlobby · 17/10/2022 15:36

I can see why you're annoyed that he didn't check first. He is entitled to make decisions but I think things like this (what responsibilities to give to a teenager) should be discussed and agreed together so you have a united front and clear expectations.

He should have checked first.

Would I leave a 9m old with a young teen, probs not, but that's me.

Why should he need to check first? Is he not an equal parent?

Regularsizedrudy · 17/10/2022 15:41

AdobeWanKenobi · 17/10/2022 14:03

Where are the grandparents you said you lived with in yesterdays thread OP? You also started a thread about how much you hate your husband.
I think your issues probably run deeper than leaving a 13 year old for ten minutes.

Oooooh grabs popcorn

ToadSmall · 17/10/2022 15:43

I think it's a completely fine thing to do as long as the thirteen year old was OK with it.

I don't consult my dh on all of my parenting decisions on a day to day basis when I am the one with the children.

Sikaris · 17/10/2022 15:46

At age 13 we (both my friend and I) frequently babysat a toddler and a baby during tge day and evenings up till midnight. A 13 yo is capable of caring for a baby for 10 minutes. If he isn't up to it then you should teach him to be more capable.

InsertPunHere · 17/10/2022 15:46

Don't be so daft, OP.

CrampMcBastard · 17/10/2022 15:51

YABU

Manekinek0 · 17/10/2022 15:51

I think you're lucky to have found a DH to put up with you. I don't think it is an issue for a quick 10 minute nip to the shop and why would he have to ask your permission anyway.

TheWhalrus · 17/10/2022 15:53

I think it depends on the Kid and their relationship with the 9-month-old, but on the whole I think this is OK.

Also, does going somewhere for 10 minutes necessarily mean leaving the house. For example could your DH have been doing something in the garden shed/garage for 10 minutes and viewed that as 'popping out'?