@Suemademedoit are you high? I had to look after my father (my parents are separated) in old age till his death, and that was when I was young, lived in his house and had no children. It was brutally exhausting and stole my youth and I WORSHIPPED him (my father was old enough to be my grandfather).
I also had to look after my mother off and on for years too.
It’s thankless work, washing, feeding, assisting in and out of bed, showers, the toilet. Cleaning up fecal and urine mess when they have accidents later on. You can’t take breaks from it, when they get frail someone always has to be home on call.
Intergenerational living may have worked (though the poor woman carings life was often a misery), when there wasn’t a cost of living crisis, when housing was affordable and women stayed at home, but the reality now is shit.
My aunt has looked after her mother a similar age, still has to work, is worn out and her life revolves around mothers care. Her husband has now been diagnosed with a terminal illness and she will have two people to care for, and the years she should have been enjoying her husband have been robbed from them both from their carer responsibilities.
Why should @HappyDays40 have to completely upend her life, probably lose the chance of home ownership herself if she isn’t able to work as much and the added costs of an extra vulnerable adult, the responsibility and costs of finding a new rental if she loses her current one.
If you think it’s so great maybe you should move op’s mil in and care for her since it’s hardly any bother 🙄