To refuse a school home visit?

[CoffeePlease93]

My son has just started school this year so I don’t know if this is the norm or not?

So apparently his school (not the teachers) does home visits with all the new parents to discuss any issues going on and for a chit chat (and probably just to be nosey around your home too!)

I have already had to reschedule once because we -all had COVID but I’ve got it coming up again now but it’s just such an inconvenience! I work from home, have a medical procedure coming up which I have several appointments beforehand and I also have a private issue going on (legal issues) which is requiring a lot of solicitor appointments and admin stuff at home at the moment too.

There has been no issues with my son at school whatsoever, he is doing amazingly well, glowing reports, I have brilliant communication with his actual teachers - I don’t need any extra support with anything and there is a parent’s evening coming up soon anyway.

I also have an extremely anxious dog who really stresses out if stranger’s come into the home (constantly barking, pacing up and down, sometimes wee’s - something we are working on but he came from a bad home previous to us).

WIBU to tell them I don’t need a home visit and this just isn’t going to work for me or will it be seen as bad and negative thing like I’m not co-operating or I’m being resistant etc?

And yes… I do tend to overthink everything which is why I’m asking!

And unless these meetings happen at 6am or in the evening, the child will likely be at school (with the teacher) when the visit happens, so the point of it isn't to "observe the child in his or her natural environment".

The safeguarding lead. I was one.

The OP does state that her home hasn't always been a safe space, she has solicitors involved abs also CAMHS. There may be some background information missing which is a why the visit is taking place. I'm not saying this is why but it could be.

In our area it's flagged as "refused home visit" and the information shared with GP, social services, school health/HV and any other agencies involved with the child.

@Movingtomorrow very worrying this person is a teacher. She's far to blasé about safeguarding issues. I know it's a lot of work but it has to happen.

I’ve done home visits as a teacher before. We do it before a child is due to start nursery. It give us the chance to meet the child but also something we can talk about with them when they come in. Like noticing the tv program they were watching, name of pets, younger siblings etc.

Also I know of two occasions where concerns raised as a result of a home visit have gone towards social service involvement and children being taken into care. Whilst I’m sure that will end with a lot of people being annoyed about nosy people coming into their house, wouldn’t we all sooner this than cases where children have died and no one knew they were in danger.

Never heard of this in Scotland. What a waste of everyone's time.

After one missed visit? Are you sure? Your GP must get a lot of referrals then. What about for missed parents evenings? And what does the GP do with those notes?

Of course it does - because of the absolute terror of missing something that leads to a headline child abuse case where everyone looks for what teachers, social workers, HCPs missed.

They don't 'do' anything with them unless other stuff happens.

CPOMS. Which is where schools keep all these notes about a child. Sometimes they are nothing. But sometimes they go together to build a bigger picture.

It's it vital. Many people have never heard of it.

It's another blanket policy carried out with no evidence of its benefit and probably at the expense of something actually important.

It’s a fairly common phrase, isn’t it? I think almost everyone knows exactly what “that parent” means and it’s nothing to do with being busy. If you genuinely haven’t heard it before then I would be happy to explain but I think you’re being disingenuous.

The attitude thing, I think was pretty clear in my comment. OP has asked a question on here and then been really rude to people who didn’t give the answer she wanted. I expressed the opinion that if OP communicated with the school in the same manner, that wouldn’t bode well for home/school relations.

You never explained your earlier dig about me missing meetings.

Can’t be that vital if neither of the primaries near me think it’s required

If you genuinely haven’t heard it before then I would be happy to explain but I think you’re being disingenuous.

I have heard it before but can't see how it applies here, hence the question - what do you mean?

Are you normally this obstructive and hostile? The visit is a really nice way of connecting more with the school and as has already been pointed out loads of times also a good way of picking up on any safeguarding issues.

Of course you’re saying there are none and you’re just too busy (much more so than anyone else who you’ve decided is sitting around doing nothing all day if they make the time for the visit), but do you really think people who are abusive say ‘no I don’t want you to come round because I’m worried you’ll realise I’m abusing my kids’?

Doesn’t matter who else has seen you at home, school probably won’t even know that because there’s no reason for them to be told.

Just suck it up, try and open your mind a bit, and do this for your child.

As someone who also works in safeguarding, I would listen to the parents reasons for declining the visit and try to suggest an alternative (such as a Zoom call) before judging them and jumping to conclusions.

It won’t be ‘noted’. Where do you think these endless ‘notes’ on trivial points are kept? Who does the noting?

@Pumperthepumper there are various different procedures for noting depending on the school. Our school uses an online system called ‘my concern’ and yes, plenty of things you may deem trivial are ‘noted’, it’s quick and easy to do and is expected. We would note it. I’m not saying it’s a major concern, or anything would come of it - it would just be read by the safeguarding lead and ‘filed’ for now. But safeguarding isn’t just about noting big concerns, it can be an accumulation of what may seem like small things that could, yes, begin with a refusal to let staff visit. If other ‘trivial’ things continue to occur then something could come of it. @Movingtomorrow sounds like they know what they are talking about with the jigsaw analogy - you don’t sound particularly clued up at all so I’m not sure why you’re being so combative about something you obviously don’t understand well.

@neverbeenskiing I should have put at the end of that comment that if there wasn't a feasible explanation from the parent.

Most schools have online safeguarding systems now. Even small behaviour incidents are being logged on registers using systems like Bromcom.

Thanks - yes, I do know what I'm talking about.

Sorry, you’re right, my school uses a noting system. I assumed that posted meant an external safeguarding team would note a missed appointment.

You’re a teacher? Who doesn’t know about safeguarding and how it is applied in a school setting? Or the basic premise of reporting not making judgements/small details building a big picture etc? Either you’re fibbing about your job or the school you work for has woefully inadequate safeguarding procedures and training.

Oh good grief I misread your post. I'm so sorry!