To refuse a school home visit?

[CoffeePlease93]

My son has just started school this year so I don’t know if this is the norm or not?

So apparently his school (not the teachers) does home visits with all the new parents to discuss any issues going on and for a chit chat (and probably just to be nosey around your home too!)

I have already had to reschedule once because we -all had COVID but I’ve got it coming up again now but it’s just such an inconvenience! I work from home, have a medical procedure coming up which I have several appointments beforehand and I also have a private issue going on (legal issues) which is requiring a lot of solicitor appointments and admin stuff at home at the moment too.

There has been no issues with my son at school whatsoever, he is doing amazingly well, glowing reports, I have brilliant communication with his actual teachers - I don’t need any extra support with anything and there is a parent’s evening coming up soon anyway.

I also have an extremely anxious dog who really stresses out if stranger’s come into the home (constantly barking, pacing up and down, sometimes wee’s - something we are working on but he came from a bad home previous to us).

WIBU to tell them I don’t need a home visit and this just isn’t going to work for me or will it be seen as bad and negative thing like I’m not co-operating or I’m being resistant etc?

And yes… I do tend to overthink everything which is why I’m asking!

What is the benefit of them coming to the house, though? Are they going to want to look around? Will they judge you on the type of biscuits you serve them with a cup of tea?

Ok then @Pumperthepumper if the visit was missed and the school had any concerns, they would call any other professionals involved to see if they had any concerns, if not then that would probably be the end of it.
If the parent refused a visit and there were no other concerns it would be left at that.
If it was one of the families I work with my first port Of call would be the social worker.

You're one teacher. Not all teachers will share your view, which is my point. Also presumably you wouldn't be as abrasive as OP has been here which, again, was my point.

It's not the declining that's the problem. It's the bad attitude and the flimsy excuses which I believe could very easily flag OP up as that parent.

That’s really interesting, I have kids just starting the same school my eldest had been at for the past 7 years and it never happened here but it’s not that dissimilar to the health visitor doing visits from home , I think it’s a great idea in terms of safe guarding, parents can conceal so much abuse and neglect to the school in the community which would be harder with home visits

This! You've nailed it.

Normal round here. As for those saying it's intrusive, it's not about you it's about your child and a nice chance to make them feel comfortable before they start school

So OP, you have time to "communicate with the school every day" but not for a quick 15 mins when you'd be at home anyway. Hmmmmm.

I definitely would be as abrasive as the op if I was being expected to listen to total nonsense about safeguarding processes by internet strangers.

Noted as what? What happens after The Note?

It's the bad attitude and the flimsy excuses which I believe could very easily flag OP up as that parent.

When you say "that parent", what do you mean? One that like many parents has too much going on to make time for a meeting which has no purpose? And who doesn't want strangers in her house when she doesn't have to? Why should she, when there is no benefit to anyone?

The OP's attitude seems fine to me, she has a good relationship with the teacher, her DC is doing well at school, what's the problem?

Posters saying it's standard and has been happening for decades don't realise that it doesn't happen across all of the UK. It may happen in England but it doesn't happen in Scotland. Not sure what the situation is in Wales.

Sorry, you’d refer to a social worker because of a missed generic appointment? Are you sure?

@BlackHorseApocalypse22 it sounds like she means every day with the teacher at pick up - pick up is something that is necessary that parents have to plan for in advance. A visit that really is pointless now the child has already started school isn't.

Worked in 5 different primary schools, they all did home visits.

odd that you asked for opinions. Yet those expressing opinions you don’t want to hear, you have been quite rude too.

here’s my view, it will look odd if it’s the done thing in your area. Most parents will accept and politely welcome their child’s teacher.
After all one ten minute appointment out of your child’s entire primary school life isn’t a lot. I’m sure even someone with appointments, a job and an anxious dog could squeeze it in.

personally I also think small opportunities like this could be a chance to identify and intervene when families are struggling or bigger concerns.

For most families it will simply be a nice personal touch and a chance to speak privately with their child’s teacher.

Go ahead and decline the visit if you wish. It’s your choice.

@Pumperthepumper I said I'd do that for the families I work with.

Very normal here.

Did the visits take place in the evenings or weekends to fit in with working parents?

I used to do these as a teacher. They were really nice ime particularly for building a bridge with home and school, breaking down any barriers or nervousness for parent but particularly child - we did this before they started so when they came to school for the first time they were so happy and no nerves!
In your case I'd pop into school and say you have a nervous dog can you meet them at school instead?

I don't think you are especially unreasonable to decline but the way you talk about them coming for a 'chit chat', to 'nosey around your home' and refer to SAHM as sitting around all day is really unpleasant. So for that reason YABU.

There will be a reason they do the visits - it may well be that all is well for you and your child. But by including everyone in the visits they have a much greater chance of identifying children who are at need of support in one way or the other.

Most parents will accept and politely welcome their child’s teacher.
After all one ten minute appointment out of your child’s entire primary school life isn’t a lot.

It's not the child's teacher.

They have asked for an hour, not 10 minutes.

It just gets put on as 'home visit declined.

For the majority of families it means absolutely nothing and just sits there through their primary school time doing nothing.

However, for the small minority of children where other things start happening or being disclosed then that declined home visit is a small bit of information/evidence to add to the bigger picture.

Omg I've just remembered that when ours happened, DD went running upstairs to get this huge Minnie Mouse that she'd never bothered with before.

Our elderly cat had thrown up on it that morning.

Woman who wasn't teacher said "Oh dear, I think Mummy needs to check your toys and give them a wash"

Haha yes I said, whilst thinking ODFOD.

So in the OP’s case you wouldn’t contact a social worker? So actually, all your talk about alarm bells is just hot air.

I've been a teacher for 14 years (in Scotland) and only ever visited a home when it has been requested on medical grounds or by social work. I'm really interested to know the purpose of these routine home visits?