To refuse a school home visit?

[CoffeePlease93]

My son has just started school this year so I don’t know if this is the norm or not?

So apparently his school (not the teachers) does home visits with all the new parents to discuss any issues going on and for a chit chat (and probably just to be nosey around your home too!)

I have already had to reschedule once because we -all had COVID but I’ve got it coming up again now but it’s just such an inconvenience! I work from home, have a medical procedure coming up which I have several appointments beforehand and I also have a private issue going on (legal issues) which is requiring a lot of solicitor appointments and admin stuff at home at the moment too.

There has been no issues with my son at school whatsoever, he is doing amazingly well, glowing reports, I have brilliant communication with his actual teachers - I don’t need any extra support with anything and there is a parent’s evening coming up soon anyway.

I also have an extremely anxious dog who really stresses out if stranger’s come into the home (constantly barking, pacing up and down, sometimes wee’s - something we are working on but he came from a bad home previous to us).

WIBU to tell them I don’t need a home visit and this just isn’t going to work for me or will it be seen as bad and negative thing like I’m not co-operating or I’m being resistant etc?

And yes… I do tend to overthink everything which is why I’m asking!

Useless as my DC’s were at nursery and DH and I were at work. Not something we would take time off work for or take DC’s out of their nursery routine. The majority of DC’s classmates had two working parents so these visitors would be calling at a lot of empty homes.

I've known of home visits before the child starts school, to meet the child, in their own environment where they are more likely to be happy and comfortable, along side nursery visits.

I've never known of them taking place after the child has started though.

Those people (bovrilly) jumping on me telling me I have no idea about anxiety 🙄 trust me I do.

Hmm, well I'd say that calling someone suffering from anxiety "ridiculous" and their anxiety "unnecessary" and telling them to "calm down" does show a woeful lack of understanding, yes.

@Movingtomorrow - not all children start school part time. We opted for full time from day one.

I love these posts.

OP: AIBU?
Majority: YABU
OP: stamps foot NO I’M NOT 😭

😂 best of MN

So how much time and money does this waste?

Home visits are the norm from our school and have been for a good few years now.

Never happened when my daughter started school? We've never had anyone round since the Health Visitor last came at I think age 3?

Never had that with any of my 3. Where do they find the time?
I would just say "I am unable to accommodate a home visit for the foreseeable future due to work and personal commitments. I am happy to schedule a phone /zoom meeting if there us any pressing issue but it seems that all is going well".

That's why I said 'usually'.

We offered early evening visits for working parents.

I've taught in schools for over 25 years.
I have a 20y daughter.
I have taught in a primary school for the past 12 years.

I've known if hone visits before the child starts where the teacher (and sometimes the ta too) visit the child and parent in their home.

I have never known this to happen after the child has started school or happen if the child isn't also present. That's been the case even if they missed the previous meeting - it was just skipped.

I have never known this to happen by a 'support' team who isn't directly going to be teaching the child at school, unless they are an external agency working with a child who required outside support in some way.

What the op has described isn't the normal here, throughout my years of teaching or having had a child go through school.

@CoffeePlease93 I would not have liked this, at all, but my child is now 30+. It IS NOT a LEGAL requirement, so do not worry.

The statutory framework for the Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) DOES NOT refer to home visits.

A DfE representative told us that, while home visits ARE NOT STATUTORY, they do reflect good practice.

here are official guidelines
schoolleaders.thekeysupport.com/pupils-and-parents/engaging-parents-and-carers/building-relationships-with-parents/home-visits-eyfs/

www.gov.uk/topic/schools-colleges-childrens-services/early-years

It's impossible to quantify. But having taught pre- and post home visits, it's my opinion that the benefits outweigh the costs (I don't think we got paid any petrol costs though...).

Ive never heard of this and would see this as unnecessary and intrusive.

You dont have to have a reason OP, just say no if you dont want it. No one is going to be making an 'inference' from it

I've sat on loads of dogs over the years and my back is absolutely fine 👌

Sounds weird to me. I would ask to the chit chat to happen at school. You can explain you have private stuff going on and find it hard to fit a chit chat in especially there seems to be nothing to worry about your child at school.

I can't imagine many schools would be granting a paid morning or afternoon off school to accommodate a teacher leaving school to deal with their own child's school sending a random support team, who doesn't have direct teaching contact with the child, to talk to them.

I've known it happen many times. Of all people, HTs understand the importance of a smooth transition to school.

I remember vividly my primary teacher visiting a short while before I started school at 4, 30yr ago. Deprived area so maybe that’s partly why they did it, a lot of neglect around so good for teachers to see early on which kids were more at risk. Remember my teacher coming over and chatting with my mum and giving me a book as a present, made starting the following week much easier as I already knew Mrs Smith so there was a familiar face.

Wrong thread? 😂

@LeningradSymphony you mean ‘majority YANBU’ right? You have seen the poll results?

Let them draw their conclusions, who cares. it is really intrusive. Fortunately they didn't do it at ds' school, I would not have been happy if they had. All it's about is seeing if you're a nice middle class family with lots of books in the lounge.

I bet they draw all sorts of (wrong)conclusions from their visits.

Just say it's not convenient. If you worked full-time outside the home it wouldn't be possible anyway.

I feel sad for the kids whose parents never have guests around people on MN get sad about very odd things. Not everyone has family and friends close by.

err..
57% agree with her.

I don't recall ever sitting on one, but meeting dogs and cats is one of the lovely parts of doing home visits - after meeting the child and their family of course. One child was adament they wanted to show me their pet tarantula. That was not so lovely but I hope I feigned enthusiasm...

It's intrusive. School is school and home is home.

For all saying "Just do it", how would you like your boss coming in to your home to "chat"?

There's no need to put yourself through it, so don't. Draw a boundary for your own piece of mind.