To refuse a school home visit?

[CoffeePlease93]

My son has just started school this year so I don’t know if this is the norm or not?

So apparently his school (not the teachers) does home visits with all the new parents to discuss any issues going on and for a chit chat (and probably just to be nosey around your home too!)

I have already had to reschedule once because we -all had COVID but I’ve got it coming up again now but it’s just such an inconvenience! I work from home, have a medical procedure coming up which I have several appointments beforehand and I also have a private issue going on (legal issues) which is requiring a lot of solicitor appointments and admin stuff at home at the moment too.

There has been no issues with my son at school whatsoever, he is doing amazingly well, glowing reports, I have brilliant communication with his actual teachers - I don’t need any extra support with anything and there is a parent’s evening coming up soon anyway.

I also have an extremely anxious dog who really stresses out if stranger’s come into the home (constantly barking, pacing up and down, sometimes wee’s - something we are working on but he came from a bad home previous to us).

WIBU to tell them I don’t need a home visit and this just isn’t going to work for me or will it be seen as bad and negative thing like I’m not co-operating or I’m being resistant etc?

And yes… I do tend to overthink everything which is why I’m asking!

That seems perfectly reasonable OP

Good idea, they will say "ok then" is my guess (as in not come, box ticked)

My kids old primary must have started this some time between 2008 when dd1 started and 2011 when dd2 did as dd2 had it but not dd1. You can decline it. I imagine it would only be an issue if eg. The child was coming in in dirty clothes etc and they might add "Parent refused home visit" to build up a picture. If they had no concerns I don't think it would matter

We had it, I’m glad they do it after Daniel Pelka was so missed on so many occasions for them to intervene.

Oh yes! We had a gift - think it was a book bag with a reading book and some other bits and pieces.

We also had a 6pm visit because of work

You have a defensive attitude and you like building barriers from reading your posts. Chill out no one’s their first get you.

School Home visits are a norm here.

I teach in a school! Absolutely not the norm where I am and I too would decline, not least because I would be out teaching myself. How schools have the resources to do this I literally do not know - we are a well-funded rural school and no way could we sort out the staffing for it.

Whilst this case was incredibly sad, it is not the school's job to do safeguarding visits at home. That is social care's remit.

As a matter of principle I would refuse but would offer to come into school instead.

When I read about Baby P and how social workers were refused entry so many times, my first response was why didn't they just push pass the murdering bitch.
Others on this thread have listed similar cases and it is true that sometimes, people do have something to hide and that is why they don't want social workers, health vistors or teachers in the house.

Those people are not going to say I don't want you in my house because then you will see the shit that goes on here. They will say
I'm busy
My child is ok
I have anxiety
I have health problems
I have a big dog
I can't let anyone in because my childhood means my home now has to be a haven no one can set foot in.

Sometimes, all that may be true but sometimes it won't.

I would hope that anyone who doesn't wat to let someone in in these circumstances is noted and kept an eye on because sometimes, hopefully rarely, it could be the difference between life and death for achild.

OP. Stop being an arse. You sound defensive, self-important and a bit silly. You and your big dog.

@GonnaGonnaGoing my dog is a 5kg cavapoo… so yes a massive killer dog… feel like an idiot now? 😂

Never heard of this and I have kids in school, and none of the schools near me do this.

I would say no too. Why would they need to come to your house?

Luckily we get at most 5 minutes on Zoom for parent teacher chats so not worried it will take off here 😂

They came to my house when my little lad started nursery. 3 of them came! I didn't mind them coming but still to this day I haven't got a clue why they did!

No, I don't. Big dog, little dog, medium dog....socially anxious dog, busy dog.

Any old dog can be a good excuse. Stick the little dog in the garden or the kitchen. or, put it up your jumper, wrap it around your head or stick it the crack of your arse. Lots of options for you.

Gosh all the people here being completely over the top about people coming to their house. It’s ridiculous! Calm down! I’m sure if you had a broken boiler you wouldn’t mind someone coming into your house to fix that?!

What a way to pass your own unnecessary anxieties onto your children. Trust me there’s far more in the world to get yourself into a state about.

Looking in the mirror are you!

It’s ridiculous! Calm down!
What a way to pass your own unnecessary anxieties onto your children. Trust me there’s far more in the world to get yourself into a state about.

Great understanding of anxiety there, well done.

They will assume that you are hiding something. Don’t blame the dog…. Thry would read into that too.

why not be honest and say anxiety ?

Oh dear oh dear. I think I have a good idea why they want to come around after the start of term.

@PooHeads you’ve obviously never suffered from anxiety or have never felt your home was unsafe or you would understand - lucky you.

@Helenloveslee4eva I’m not lying about the dog though am I? My dog came from a horrible home where he was left to be attacked and was left lying unwell for several days and probably would of died if I hadn’t of taken him, but that’s a whole other story!

I've attended many of these home/school meetings during my EYFS career. Yes, they can be useful for school and the families before the child starts school but this far in to the new term isn't useful in my opinion. Just say it's not convenient and move on. I've had many parents say the same and this hasn't impacted on our view of the family at all. During the course of the academic year we will all get to know each other. Not a problem at all.

@supersonicginandtonic I think you are dangerosly misunderstanding safeguarding, and I think many professionals do.

Everyone should be vigilant to concerns, and those concerns should logged and appropriate action taken.

However where there are no concerns professionals have no right or business believing they should have access to people's homes 'just to check' how they live. This is a huge overstep.

Safeguarding during covid was a disaster because children were not in school so concerns could not be seen, and where there were ongoing concerns children were then not being seen in thier homes.
It wasn't a disaster because everyone's homes weren't being policed by busy body professionals who think safeguarding means the right of intrusion whenever they like.

OP as there are no concerns about your son at all, I'd just explain why you are not able to have this meeting at home at the moment, and say you'll happily meet in school if needed.

So what if some busy body 'family worker' thinks 'oooh she doesn't want us in her home I wonder why??' as there is no evdience at all of concerns it remains just that: a thought of a professional who has misunderstood their role.

Do not be cowed into thinking you have to justify that your home life is fine by letting people in.
No. They have to justify why they have a reason to get involved.

I am all about safeguarding, and see many terrible oversights but this use of 'safeguarding' to threaten people without any basis into compliance makes me really angry.