To refuse a school home visit?

[CoffeePlease93]

My son has just started school this year so I don’t know if this is the norm or not?

So apparently his school (not the teachers) does home visits with all the new parents to discuss any issues going on and for a chit chat (and probably just to be nosey around your home too!)

I have already had to reschedule once because we -all had COVID but I’ve got it coming up again now but it’s just such an inconvenience! I work from home, have a medical procedure coming up which I have several appointments beforehand and I also have a private issue going on (legal issues) which is requiring a lot of solicitor appointments and admin stuff at home at the moment too.

There has been no issues with my son at school whatsoever, he is doing amazingly well, glowing reports, I have brilliant communication with his actual teachers - I don’t need any extra support with anything and there is a parent’s evening coming up soon anyway.

I also have an extremely anxious dog who really stresses out if stranger’s come into the home (constantly barking, pacing up and down, sometimes wee’s - something we are working on but he came from a bad home previous to us).

WIBU to tell them I don’t need a home visit and this just isn’t going to work for me or will it be seen as bad and negative thing like I’m not co-operating or I’m being resistant etc?

And yes… I do tend to overthink everything which is why I’m asking!

Who has said that further action will be taken about missed appointments? I’ve not seen a comment that says that. I’ve seen lots of comments that (correctly) say it should be noted on school’s internal safeguarding system and in some cases, that will form part of a bigger picture for families where there are other issues.

I’m very doubtful that a teacher could have such scant knowledge of safeguarding and be having such difficulty following this thread.

My DS sons school did this. I had never had it before with my older DC. It was quite nice and I was able to meet his teacher and talk about my child and it helped with him settling in. It isn't a visit to be nosy, its like a meet and greet in the comfort of your own home

Plenty of time for posting on MN 🤷🏻‍♀️

@PriamFarrl and @KweenieBeanz im not saying people should not report things they see and of course in these examples you give that's obviously extreme and needed. What am I saying is TAs or whatever should not be conducting home visits purely off the back of checking every single child's home for safeguarding reasons. If that's what you do you need to make it clear to parents that's why you are visiting and get their permission to do so. You cannot just go round under the guise of having a chit chat. Then if the parent refuses to have a chit chat they get flagged up. That is not ok. Safeguarding us everyone's responsibility but there are laws to strictly follow on this for a reason. You cannot just go checking up on people willy nilly.

Yeah they are going to assume you’re hiding something.

I’ve never heard of home visits taking place after the child has actually started at the setting, seems a complete waste of time to me - especially as you have a parents evening coming up anyway.

At my children’s school, they offer a home visit before the kids start as an opportunity for your child to meet the staff in their home environment before they start, but it’s made clear to the parents that the visits are very much optional.

We had a home visit last month the week before my son started nursery, we will be offered another when he moves up to reception. I won’t bother as he already knows the early years staff and they know us as a family (the same teachers also taught my eldest).

It's totally common all the schools around us do it.

Are you suggesting the OP asks them to call round on a Sunday?

Some early evening visits, definitely no weekend ones from my experience. But I will say the visits tended to happen before kids started school. Typically reception start a week or so later than rest of school, which is when they did home visits. Any that carried over seemed to be in afternoon as reception tends to have staggered starts so in first couple of weeks R teachers had afternoons free for visits.

No idea what they did if a parent declined which I am sure definitely did happen.

Definitely very common has was certain the norm even when my Dd started school about 10 years ago.

I think you’re fine to say no though if you want. You could just explain all of this.

So this is an hour long home visit by support staff after he has already started school? That doesn't sound usual at all to me, normally it's a five minute visit by the teacher before they start.

Are you sure this is something that is happening for all new starters and not just to discuss whatever the issue is that he is seeing CAHMS about? I don't understand why any member of staff would spend 30 hours visiting all the children's parents.

I think it would be better if you see them even if it is for a brief time, whatever the reason they want to come, they should only be there to support you and your son which is never a bad thing even if you don't think you need it.

@Johnnysgirl ive got three in primary, one in reception, never heard of this. Also an ex school governor and never came across this.

Maybe it’s just a regional thing.

@PriamFarrl and @KweenieBeanz and no other than those extreme examples which are not massively common, I do not think you could gather enough on a simple home visit chit chat to comment on abuse or neglect. I suspect in the examples given, professionals were already aware of concerns and involved so its disingenuous to use them.

It is ridiculous and I would have no problem in saying no.

Say you can't do it due to medical reasons They can't argue with that.

But, those examples I gave did happen and were flagged up to social services. In one of those households the children were being abused and were taken into care. In the other the parent was given support.
In one case the family had only just moved to the area and there was no involvement by any other agency.

Home visits are normal round here, the idea is that the child first meets the teacher in their home environment, which makes it kess scary being dropped off with strangers in a new place. Many children are used to preschool/ nursery but for those who aren’t and who are nervous the home visit is so helpful.

As your child is now at school the moment has passed, tell the school thanks but no thanks you don’t want to waste everyone’s time and the moment has passed.

was about to say the same, it is Sunday.

As for the op, feel free to decline. They won’t judge at all but it will be noted on the child’s record, simply to build a picture. If there is never anything else to case concern then they won’t ever think about it again

Afternoon visits are useless for working parents. I’ve been a governor and had DT’s and never heard of these visits. I would have declined as not practical.

Staggered starts are optional - we sent DT’s full time from day one as working parents can’t have endless days off work for this.

They've never done this with my children and grandchildren. (In London schools.)

Unless there was an issue, I'd decline politely, and say that any problems could be covered at Open evening, or with normal communication methods.

Its not much of a good way to try and spot abuse or neglect. I worked in a Child Protection department, and neglectful/abusive parents are expert at hiding things.🙄

I had a home visit 7 years ago (north England). Lasted 20 minutes and was a really nice visit - met classroom teacher and TA. Really put me at ease.

They went in the living room - that was it. I don’t like people in my house generally but it didn’t even occur to me to view this in a negative way.

Home visits before children start school are pretty normal but I've never heard of a school doing them once the children have started.

Visits before the children begin it's about meeting the child in their own environment, getting to know them, sometimes the teachers leave a gift-it should be nice and supportive but a home visit once they started has no value. I'd never have managed a visit-I'd have always been at work!!

So I think what I’m going to do tomorrow is offer them to postpone it if they want the full hour, or they can do one sooner but I have to really stick to a 20 minute maximum because I can’t accommodate a longer appointment than that at the moment with everything else going on - then the choice is there’s really

Their’s*