Housemate wearing outdoor shoes inside - AIBU?

[FourForYouGlenCocoYouGoGlenCoco]

My housemate has started wearing their outdoor shoes inside our house, which I find quite gross and off putting. They’ve only just started doing this - it’s never been an issue before.

I asked them politely to stop doing it but they either get passive agressive towards me, and ask me why I seem to be ‘holding a lot of anger’ towards them, or they just say nothing and keep their shoes on. They’ll also test their feet on the coffee table in the living room, which I find really horrible.

I’m getting pretty pissed off at them, as I don’t really want them to tread all the stuff on their shoes into the carpets etc, and I’m really baffled at why they’re doing it too. I also think it shows disrespect towards all their housemates (there’s a few others in our house too).

We’re all professionals in our twenties, and housemate is NT etc and knows basic social norms!!

I have a feeling they’re doing it as a bit of a ‘power play’ because our main housemate, who also owns the house is away, so they can basically be as slovenly as they like and do whatever they want while housemate is away. I just find it really horrible and it makes no sense to me why they would do this.

AIBU to feel disgusted, and can I ask for tips on how to handle this with them?

*rest their feet on the coffee table (while wearing their shoes)

Some people put on slippers, some people walk around I bare feet (🙋) or socks, and some people wear shoes and trainers they wore outside the house. I don't, personally, see an issue. Whatever is most comfortable.

The feet on the table is horrible. How many of you live there?

It's a shared space and it clearly has a norm set up of not doing this which is respected while the owner is around.

On top, using outside shoes on home carpets is gross no matter what.

5 of us live here, EV. I think what I find most horrible about it is our housemate who owns the house is very house proud and would be upset to see one of us just walk around inside with our shoes on and resting them on the furniture. I think it shows massive disrespect to them. When they bought the house, they did it up beautifully, and they didn’t plan for someone to just tramp dirt from outside into the house all over their carpets. I just think it’s horrible.

Also, personally, I don’t want to step in dog poo/outside dirt inside the house because my housemates have worn their outside shoes inside. I think it’s so disgusting and unhygienic. I might sound precious, but I just think it’s basic hygiene. I grew up in a house where we always took our shoes off, and I think it makes sense.

The rule in our house is that outdoor shoes are left outside….perfectly reasonable!

Yeah that's pretty vile.
I don't know why some people think it's ok to trek in all the crap (both literal and metaphorical) from the street all over carpets/laminates. It means no one can walk in their socks or barefoot otherwise. Deeply unhygienic.
I'd ask her why she has suddenly started doing that. Think you'll have to escalate with owner on their return.

On top, using outside shoes on home carpets is gross no matter what.

When I have visitors, I never make them take their shoes off. I would hate it if people asked me to do that at their houses.

Show them this, bad bacteria, cancer causing carcinogens etc
www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/may/03/wearing-shoes-indoors-bad-science

I’d contact the owner and send photos of the housemate with shoes on and propped on coffee table, and so on. You can put a note on there saying you’d support them in evicting the housemate upon their return.

The coffee table is bad because they could damage it but you’re being rather precious otherwise

Outside shoes should not Ben worn inside the house it's really gross

It’s not gross, you’re being ridiculous

I had the same problem with my mil. She hated taking her shoes off and couldn't understand my problem with it. She said her shoes were clean lol.

Thanks all. For anyone who’s said I’m being a bit precious for not liking outdoor shoes inside, can I ask why? Do you all wear outdoor shoes inside? Do you not get frustrated at having dirty carpets (visible dirt, and invisible bits that just disappear into the carpet)?

I think it's perfectly normal to wear shoes inside. Some people don't like it, but it's a complete non issue to others. Personally, if you were my flatmate, I'd think your were completely neurotic to be so obsessed by this, but I'd probably take my shoes off for an easy life.

I’ve lived in both houses where you take shoes off and ones where you keep them on. I am fine with keeping shoes on, you don’t run your hands or food along the floor.

In neither was it ok to put feet on coffee table.

I hate outdoor shoes inside, spit on the carpets just doesn't appeal.

For anyone who’s said I’m being a bit precious for not liking outdoor shoes inside, can I ask why? Do you all wear outdoor shoes inside? Do you not get frustrated at having dirty carpets

I don't wear anything on my feet. Some people say my sweaty feet are unhygienic. My dog and cat are outside and walk around inside. Friends come in the house and I don't ask them to take their shoes off. So do workmen. I just don't see the difference.

I wear outdoor shoes inside and my carpets aren’t dirty.

I wear my shoes inside all the time. Obviously I take them off if they’ve got bits of mud trapped in them, but if I go out, walk around on pavements and in the office, drive home in the car etc, there’s no mud on there so I just keep them on. Same for whole family - probably shoes come off about half the time, especially kids with muddier shoes or if we’re wearing deep tread shoes that trap the muck more.

At no point do I ever lick the floor, and we hoover a few times a week. I don’t feel especially endangered by the outside menace. And if there’s ever any dog muck you can smell it instantly - so shoes would of course come off. I can’t get worked up about infinitesimal particles on the floor.

I take my shoes off in other peoples houses if they ask me to or if it’s obvious that this is what they do (though I HATE this in the summer if I have bare feet - would probably just not go in their houses or make an excuse).

Social norms really vary on this. Your rules are not THE rules.

The house-owner's rules should be respected, certainly. So mention it to them and see what they do about it. You are not their appointed policewoman - are you?

The feet on the table is rank but you're bang out of order asking them to take their outdoor shoes off inside.

Cockroach eggs is the best thing to say to someone if you want them to remove their shoes. I haven’t got anywhere they can put them except inside the flat so I don’t tend to ask but I completely understand when I’m asked to remove my shoes.

I'd much rather they take them off but it's their home too so yabu.

However feet stay on the floor not furniture, that if way off. You don't touch the floor so it's no big deal.