Housemate wearing outdoor shoes inside - AIBU?

[FourForYouGlenCocoYouGoGlenCoco]

My housemate has started wearing their outdoor shoes inside our house, which I find quite gross and off putting. They’ve only just started doing this - it’s never been an issue before.

I asked them politely to stop doing it but they either get passive agressive towards me, and ask me why I seem to be ‘holding a lot of anger’ towards them, or they just say nothing and keep their shoes on. They’ll also test their feet on the coffee table in the living room, which I find really horrible.

I’m getting pretty pissed off at them, as I don’t really want them to tread all the stuff on their shoes into the carpets etc, and I’m really baffled at why they’re doing it too. I also think it shows disrespect towards all their housemates (there’s a few others in our house too).

We’re all professionals in our twenties, and housemate is NT etc and knows basic social norms!!

I have a feeling they’re doing it as a bit of a ‘power play’ because our main housemate, who also owns the house is away, so they can basically be as slovenly as they like and do whatever they want while housemate is away. I just find it really horrible and it makes no sense to me why they would do this.

AIBU to feel disgusted, and can I ask for tips on how to handle this with them?

If the fact that it is a shoes-off residence was made clear before she moved in, it's completely unacceptable of her to wear outdoor shoes inside.

Unless theuir dogs wear cute little doggy boots for outside

I am amazed by the strength of feeling about shoes in the house! I obviously know some houses remove shoes and some don't (and would always remove my shoes in a house with a pile of shoes by the door!) but I never realised quite how important it is to some people!

On our house people are welcome to remove shoes, have bare feet, wear slippers or socks, or keep their shoes on as long as they're not caked in mud. Anything goes except smelly socks - they MUST be removed and the feet washed!

But hey if you're happy to have strangers' saliva on your feet/socks/bedding you do you
Oh don't be ro ridiculous. There are germ and dirt particles absolutely everywhere. Take your shoes off if you like but you will never have a sterile carpet, floor, bedding. I don't know whether it's laughable or just sad that people are so extreme about things like this. I mean really, most people just don't give shit like this a second thought.

I'm entirely casual about shoe wearing in the house. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, and I don't ask visitors to remove theirs.

If the owner of this shared house made it a rule that shoes must be removed at the door, then the housemate is being a prat taking advantage of her absence. If she didn't, then they don't have to have their shoes off and you're being precious. .

And it's the ott judgemental language used - grim, nasty, minging, vile, disgusting

I am amazed by the strength of feeling about shoes in the house!
I know it's baffling. As are the suggestions that when you go out you are literally wading through rivers of saliva and shit that remain encased on your shoes until the moment you step into your house.

I think having pets in your home is much worse ... cats and dogs all over the place, lying on the sofa or bed . Pet hairs everywhere but no one seems to obsess over that (except me, I avoid going to friends' homes where there are pets ... we meet elsewhere ).

I wear sturdy UGG slippers and bought them, partly for the good sole so I can go out to the garden, into the street to the car, etc. I doubt that is much different to wearing outside shoes.

I understand that. But my point is that if it's not a problem to me if visitors wear their shoes inside my house, then it doesn't matter I'd someone who lives there does.

Do family pets have their feet dipped in no shoe houses

Where do you live that there’s so much crap and dirty outside your house?! And don’t you have a door mat?

What do people actually think they’re bringing in on shoes?? Genuine question.

To the PP who tried (and failed) to shock us all about cockroach eggs - I’ve never seen a cockroach or heard of an outbreak in a UK home but do you leave all your shoes outside? Don’t they get wet in the rain? Or to cockroach eggs magically not hatch when placed on shoe racks?

What's the logic of having dogs in your home yet insisting on people taking their shoes off?

I thought that. So strict about shoes but the dogs can wander around. Their unwiped arseholes will forever be rubbed into the carpets but they’re worried about pavement dust 😂😂 totally bizarre logic.

Christ my shoes would break with all the taking off and on to go get forgotten things on a morning 😂😂

Also my shoes all have buckles or laces (I have enormous clodhopper feet and a high arch, they don’t stay in pumps) it would be lunchtime by the time I stopped faffing on unbuckling them and rebuckling them 🤣

The cockroach egg bullshit is hilarious 😂

To the people who say they don’t eat off the floor or wipe their hands on it, what about children?

My kids also eat off plates and wipe their hands on a hand towel.

I’d object to a stranger coming to spit in my bed.

I can’t, for a nanosecond, even give the tiniest shit about a maybe minuscule invisible-to-the-eye spit particle getting on my shoes and slowly shaking off with every step, coming into the house.

it’s so bloody neurotic. I’d love the shoes off people to see how some live in developing countries!

Has your housemate developed a foot condition where they don't want to remove shoes in public? I'd always expect to take my shoes off indoors, it's rude to traipse dirt into a house

Same here. We take our shoes off day to day but never ask visitors to.

So what is the housemate who owns the house saying about it? Why is it only you getting all uptight about it?

The level of germ-phobia and obsessive hygiene on MN continues to astonish me. I always wonder what real-life evidence/experience the germphobes and Zoflora-wielders have that they are even a tiny bit healthier than us normal people. Do they think we are constantly coming down with dysentery and back-to-back sickness bugs (rather than probably having a stronger immune system)? I haven't had a sickness bug / food poisoning for over a decade (and actually have only ever had food poisoning from restaurants)! Also I have a dog and a cat, so shoes off is arguably a bit pointless.

I’d love the shoes off people to see how some live in developing countries!
Oh yes we should all aspire to defecating in the streets and piles of rubbish taller than our homes being rooted through by stray dogs, cats and rats. The fact this means half of children won’t see adulthood, meh, who cares? Those with the strong immune systems live, it’s only the weak that die.

The level of germ-phobia and obsessive hygiene on MN continues to astonish me. I always wonder what real-life evidence/experience the germphobes and Zoflora-wielders have that they are even a tiny bit healthier than us normal people

Zero. Which is why all the handwringing about 'hygiene standards' is so ridiculous.

Shoes off indoors (unless wet or muddy) was never a thing in any friends’ or relatives’ houses when I was a child, and I’ve never made it a thing, either. We’ve had many years of own dcs’ and now Gdcs crawling or playing on the carpets - not to mention dogs and cats walking on them - and AFAIK nobody has ever become ill as a result.

Many people don’t like taking shoes off because they’re self conscious about their feet, or their feet get cold, or (if elderly or lacking mobility) find it awkward to get them on and off.

TBH I put it down to an over-zealousness about hygiene - seen often enough on MN - people obsessed with washing, cleaning and disinfecting everything within an inch of its life.
I can understand that carpets do stay cleaner, but I give mine a good do with the good old Vax every now and then.

The only time I’ve been expected to take shoes off lately is the very occasional visit to an ex colleague, who has been daft enough IMO to lay a carpet of such a pale grey, it’s almost white. Each to her own, but….

Actually my ex in laws live in a third world country and insist on shoes being left outside. They sweep their house daily and they’re very house proud, along with relatives and friends we visited while we were in the country. Being poor doesn’t mean people have no standards or common sense. If someone put their feet on my ex in laws table they would not invited again.