Housemate wearing outdoor shoes inside - AIBU?

[FourForYouGlenCocoYouGoGlenCoco]

My housemate has started wearing their outdoor shoes inside our house, which I find quite gross and off putting. They’ve only just started doing this - it’s never been an issue before.

I asked them politely to stop doing it but they either get passive agressive towards me, and ask me why I seem to be ‘holding a lot of anger’ towards them, or they just say nothing and keep their shoes on. They’ll also test their feet on the coffee table in the living room, which I find really horrible.

I’m getting pretty pissed off at them, as I don’t really want them to tread all the stuff on their shoes into the carpets etc, and I’m really baffled at why they’re doing it too. I also think it shows disrespect towards all their housemates (there’s a few others in our house too).

We’re all professionals in our twenties, and housemate is NT etc and knows basic social norms!!

I have a feeling they’re doing it as a bit of a ‘power play’ because our main housemate, who also owns the house is away, so they can basically be as slovenly as they like and do whatever they want while housemate is away. I just find it really horrible and it makes no sense to me why they would do this.

AIBU to feel disgusted, and can I ask for tips on how to handle this with them?

What's the logic of having dogs in your home yet insisting on people taking their shoes off? Do you wash the dog's paws every time they come in the house? Personally I think having dogs is a lot more 'unhygienic' than wearing shoes inside. I do tend to wear slippers or flip flops in my own home but wouldn't dream of expecting guests to remove their shoes.

If you choose to share your home with five 'flat mates' you can't really impose too many rules without looking petty.

Tbh it's not really about if you like it or not, it's a house rule set by the owner and it's two fingers up at tgen rather than you. Are they usually immature?

Coffee table is gross, shoes on inside is normal so I don't see what you are going on about (and yes I live in the countryside).

Feet on table wrong
Outdoor shoes inside fine. Have always done it.

I'm going to guess you've not had the cockroach egg problem

I've never heard of anyone having a cockroach egg problem!

I used to live in England and it is quite common for people there to wear outdoor shoes inside the house. Many people don't see a problem with it. I've not really been anywhere else in the world that this was acceptable, and I do find it quite grating when I am there. However, I accepted it as a cultural norm when in shared spaces.

I can assure you that shoes on inside is perfectly acceptable in some other countries. Even - gasp!! - on carpet!!! I've never understood what is so precious about carpet that shoes can't touch it - surely you have hoovers.

This crops up regularly on MN.

Neither is wrong. Your not liking it doesn't make it wrong. Not your role to police others. I don't know any people who insist on shoes off. Very rude.

I'd mention it to landlord

I've a question for the shoes off contingent. If you're at the door, shoes on ready to go (I have small children so if they're involved will have endured approximately three hours of trauma to get to that point) and you realise you need something in another room possibly upstairs. Do you really take your shoes off to go and get it?

When I have visitors, if they don’t off to take their shoes off ( manners , respect) I ask politely ask them to . I think it’s gross wearing outdoor shoes on home carpets . I’ve paid for them , it’s my home , my rules , if people don’t respect that then their not welcome

Shoes left in the porch in my house, for those that live here and those that visit.

To the people who say they don’t eat off the floor or wipe their hands on it, what about children? If you have a baby learning to crawl or toddler playing on the floor. Do you still wear outdoor shoes inside? As they will be doing exactly this 😖

I know people will say it’ll build their immune system etc, but I wouldn’t put my baby on the floor outside to crawl so why would I let people wear outdoor shoes inside? Any soft play centres you remove your shoes in play areas, the mat and lie down area in playgroup you had to remove shoes.
I’ve had workmen come in and as soon as they see shoes in the porch and the cream stairs carpet they take theirs off too. One even turned up with shoe covers so it’s obviously something they encounter a lot. Maybe I’ll purchase some as I didn’t realise taking your shoes off was such a big deal 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think the shoes on people have nasty fungus feet and are too embarrassed to take off their shoes but won’t admit it.

Minging. Think of all the times she’s accidentally stepped on a pile of someone’s spit 🤮 That’s in your carpet now. As much as we all try to avoid those gross little piles there’s no way we’ve avoided them all. Tell her that.

Taking shoes off inside is a preference, not a universally agreed rule (in the UK at least). I grew up in a shoes-on house, as did many people I know. Never did me any harm! I now live in a house with hard floors and no carpets. We often do take our shoes off, but it certainly doesn't bother me if people don't, and I would never expect guests to.

I agree and I think it's grim. Specifically here though it's breaking house rules and house shares can only function in harmony if people follow the rules.

How long is LL housemate away for?

Sorry but you're too precious for a house share.

You have to be really tolerant and let loads of things slide when you have house mates

Speaking from experience

When you get your own place everyone can wash their feet at the door.

It is not only in

It is not only in the UK. Pretty normal in the US to wear shoes indoors. Also in France. I don't think I was ever asked to remove shoes there when I lived there.

That said, if it's always been a shoes off house and he's only started doing it, that is clearly shit of him. The shoes on the coffee table is horrible regardless and I am not a fan of outdoor shoes indoors in my own house (as I'm the one who cleans the floors) and especially hate it on carpet.

So yanbu

It's not gross to disseminate particles of dog poop, piss, rotten trash, countless germs and other nasty stuff you inevitably step on outside all over the floor of your SHARED house?!

I despair at some people's hygiene standards...

Where on earth do you people live if you’re treading in dog shit, piss and litter all day long? Must be a right dump. I’d be looking to move.

Absolutely tell the house owner. Preferably with photo evidence.

Snarky, are we? 🙄
I can assure you minute traces of everything I listed are on the soles of your shoes if you go outside anywhere really. But hey if you're happy to have strangers' saliva on your feet/socks/bedding you do you!

All things bright and beautiful, yes that's how I brought my kids up, all healthy with great immune systems, following your logic, people with young kids shouldn't have pets

It's a class thing.

My Mum said only common people make you take your shoes off.

So rude to ask people to do it.

Where on earth do you people live if you’re treading in dog shit, piss and litter all day long? Must be a right dump. I’d be looking to move

I know right? Someone mentioned spit… I’ve lived in this area 12 years and I have never seen a person spit in the street. The subject of pets is also an interesting one… once you have an animal in the house it’s difficult to argue about shoes on. Obviously there are degrees of animals but people have them on furniture etc. ( I’m assuming the pet people are not the ones mithering about the carpets)