Housemate wearing outdoor shoes inside - AIBU?

[FourForYouGlenCocoYouGoGlenCoco]

My housemate has started wearing their outdoor shoes inside our house, which I find quite gross and off putting. They’ve only just started doing this - it’s never been an issue before.

I asked them politely to stop doing it but they either get passive agressive towards me, and ask me why I seem to be ‘holding a lot of anger’ towards them, or they just say nothing and keep their shoes on. They’ll also test their feet on the coffee table in the living room, which I find really horrible.

I’m getting pretty pissed off at them, as I don’t really want them to tread all the stuff on their shoes into the carpets etc, and I’m really baffled at why they’re doing it too. I also think it shows disrespect towards all their housemates (there’s a few others in our house too).

We’re all professionals in our twenties, and housemate is NT etc and knows basic social norms!!

I have a feeling they’re doing it as a bit of a ‘power play’ because our main housemate, who also owns the house is away, so they can basically be as slovenly as they like and do whatever they want while housemate is away. I just find it really horrible and it makes no sense to me why they would do this.

AIBU to feel disgusted, and can I ask for tips on how to handle this with them?

Who died and made you the boss of what people can have on their feed indoors😂😂

And here is a lesson in the wonderful diverse world we live in. Some things you take for granted are not universal. Some people sit on the floor and eat with their hands… crazy. The fact that there is a house rule to remove shoes does make it disrespectful not to comply but keeping shoes on is not intrinsically wrong just different

How do some of you get through life, worrying about such ridiculous things? People have been wearing outdoor shoes inside for many decades - and guess what, nothing happened!!!!!! You are being precious.

We often wear outdoor shoes inside. We often take them off. We often wear slippers, or socks, or go barefoot too.

I'm going to guess you've not had the cockroach egg problem 😂

You do sound precious. It’s unlikely you’ll be walking in dog mess in the house, behave.

Agree with you about the coffee table though.

It's extremely rude to ask guests to take their shoes off. I guess for people who live in a house it's possible to agree, but honestly, who cares about this kind of nonsense? Carpets & floors can be cleaned, so this is really such a trivial thing.

@Hbh17
It's extremely rude to ask guests to take their shoes off.

No it’s not. It’s rude for guests not to offer to take their shoes off.

Wow
most people I know ask this
it's never struck me as rude.

YABVU and completely OTT with your hyperbole and talk about 'social norms'.
Are you really so sheltered in life that you are completely 'baffled' by someone doing something differently from the way you do it ?

I don't see a big deal with shoes in the house, but the main thing here is that it's equally both of your homes, so you don't get to dictate how he lives in it.

Wearing outdoor shoes indoors is grim 🙁

You need to live alone if you can’t handle shoes in the house.

it’s such a WEIRD and neurotic thing to her wound up about - what do you think people are bribing in on theirs shoes, rabies?

Different norms in different houses. I grew up in a house with exposed wooden floorboards and therefore we had to keep our shoes on to avoid splinters…I always offer to remove shoes in other people’s homes but we have wooden and tile floors and cats so we wear our shoes inside.

It sounds pretty horrible but personally I’ve never come across anyone who has had cockroaches in their house in the UK - I know it does happen, but it’s not that common. Mice, ants, spiders, wasps etc but I don’t think cockroaches are a big problem here.

Same

Sometimes I keep my shoes in sometimes I don’t. I even go outside in my slippers 😱

Outdoor shoes inside is grim.
There was a programme on tv about why you shouldn't do it. It's not rude for someone to ask you to remove your shoes. their house, their rules. It's rude of you not to offer. Even Sky automatically place covers on their shoes when entering customers homes now.
I hate seeing babies crawling on a floor in a house where people wear their shoes inside.

I would feel the same as you. Shoes off when you go in the house. My sister in law is Chinese and always offers an array of lovely slippers when we visit. As you do not own the house you may have to grit your teeth until the main housemate returns.

Not everyone thinks it’s disgusting to wear shoes indoors and unless you own the own the house you live in you have no right to force your opinion on your housemate I’m afraid. Maybe move out and look for like minded people to share with?

@pepsirolla

And here is an opposing view

www.countryliving.com/uk/homes-interiors/interiors/a28112855/asthma-children-shoes-on-home/

I never walk round the house in socks or bare feet. Usually I wear shoes - the same ones I wear outside - sometimes I wear slippers.

making people take their shoes off is weird.

The reality is you can set whatever rules you like when it’s your own home, but shared houses have shared house rules. Whoever sets those rules (the homeowner) has the final say. I also hate shoes in the house but I’ve lived in shared houses where people wear them indoors and coped.

I’ve only visited one other house in Ireland growing up that asked visitors to remove their shoes inside, and I hated going there because of it (and their dogs). However, after spending a year living with Asians in Australia who insisted on removing shoes inside, I got converted to the benefits and now enforce that rule in my own house too. I don’t want to cleaning wet or grassy footprints more than I need to. Plus being barefoot or in slippers is more comfortable anyway.

You’re not unreasonable OP.

This.

I'm 40 and never in my life have I been to a house where you take your shoes off to go inside. I don't see it as unhygienic unless you plan to eat off the floor. Just wipe your shoes on the mat before entering like normal people. The coffee table is gross though but the rest is totally normal and what most of society do (except bloody MN of course!) 🙄

Your housemate is disgusting, and I would mention it to the owner now.