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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Ukrainian families may just have to..

329 replies

FindingMyself1999 · 13/10/2022 22:15

Go back? bbc article

such a sad situation but we barely have enough housing or school places as it is. Unless the hosts can act as guarantors? That’s a possibility ?

the government really hasn’t thought through the aftermath of the hosting scheme.

OP posts:
FreddyHG · 14/10/2022 09:07

We are overcrowded with insufficient current housing stock. Ukrainians jumping the queue is going to breed resentment and anger. I objected at the time to the Ukrainian scheme and reject this now.

caringcarer · 14/10/2022 09:13

We have thousands of homeless on our streets, yet all refugees get put up in hotels, with all meals and given mobile phones. Some of those homeless on our streets are teens who for one reason or another have been thrown out by their parents. They can't get a job as can't keep clean, they are in a vicious circle. Often living under bridges and underpasses in sight of hotels where immigrants are put up. We need to sort out our own homeless issues before accepting economic migrants coming in on dingy boats illegally.

GonnaGonnaGoing · 14/10/2022 09:13

The days of the British Empire being the policeman of the world is mostly over and when it is really over, then that will be a day to celebrate.

If eastern Europe want to fight, let them.

Georgeskitchen · 14/10/2022 09:15

GonnaGonnaGoing · 14/10/2022 09:13

The days of the British Empire being the policeman of the world is mostly over and when it is really over, then that will be a day to celebrate.

If eastern Europe want to fight, let them.

Couldn't agree more!!

maranella · 14/10/2022 09:16

It was clear from the beginning that the govt and local councils would be able to provide very little in the way of practical support to this scheme. If individual families wanted to host Ukrainians, they could, but really they were on their own and I'm not surprised that no plan has been made for what happens now, because what plan can be made? How are homes for 30,000 people who have no deposit, no credit history, are on benefits and don't speak good English supposed to be magicked up?

The UK doesn't have a great stock of homes just standing empty. We've had a housing shortage for years, with British families waiting years for a council house, and we simply don't have the capacity to find free homes for 30,000 Ukrainians, 11,000 Afghans and several thousand illegal migrants who arrive every year on small boats. Where is all this housing supposed to come from? And why should Ukrainians get priority over Brits?

The whole scheme was an ill-thought out, back of a fag packet, knee-jerk response to hysterical headlines in the tabloids and Boris was a fucking idiot to allow himself and his govt to be bounced into the offer they made. This country can only house Ukrainians if British people put them up - not for six months but for the entire duration of the war.

Dotjones · 14/10/2022 09:17

I started to read that article but got rather exasperated by the line

"It's really stressing me out," sighs Clare. "I'm not going to chuck them out. But at the same time my job is done."

No, Clare, your job is not "done" as you put it. The war is still going on and may well go on for many years. This was obviously a risk even when this scheme began.

vera99 · 14/10/2022 09:18

caringcarer · 14/10/2022 09:13

We have thousands of homeless on our streets, yet all refugees get put up in hotels, with all meals and given mobile phones. Some of those homeless on our streets are teens who for one reason or another have been thrown out by their parents. They can't get a job as can't keep clean, they are in a vicious circle. Often living under bridges and underpasses in sight of hotels where immigrants are put up. We need to sort out our own homeless issues before accepting economic migrants coming in on dingy boats illegally.

The Royal British Legion’s long-held estimate is that somewhere between three and six per cent of homeless people have an armed forces background, but there are concerns that some homeless veterans are rendered “invisible” by the way statistics are collected. Very shabby way to treat our 'heroes' who fought for the British State and now lie abandoned.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 14/10/2022 09:20

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In which case then the Ukrainians can stay in tbe safe country of Poland into which country they crossed from Ukraine

WahineToa · 14/10/2022 09:23

The US has done most but the UK has done more than other European countries in sending weapons to Ukraine

it was the same with funding covid vaccinations too, US and UK put in more than anyone. Nobody would complain about that so I’m not sure why they can’t be proud to be one of the main contributors to defeating Putin.

Hellospring22 · 14/10/2022 09:23

Eslteacher06 · 14/10/2022 08:33

@MondaysChild7 I KNOW Ukrainian children who have been given spaces over others. Im not talking about something I've heard from someone else. If your council are treating it how it should, good for you.

Or is this just the case that standard criteria have been applied and the Ukrainian children come higher up the waiting list based on these. With all school waiting lists you can go from first on the list to lower down, if someone else joins the list who is higher priority based on the standard criteria.

WahineToa · 14/10/2022 09:24

In which case then the Ukrainians can stay in tbe safe country of Poland into which country they crossed from Ukraine

Stupid response. There’s a war n Ukraine. Poland couldn’t take everyone.

urgen · 14/10/2022 09:25

I wonder if it was YOU that lost a place for your child at your chosen school and YOU who moved down the housing list because someone jumped in front of you you would feel the same?

It is easy to pontificate about helping the young men on the boats with no papers (funny that) who are claiming to be fleeing for their lives. Do you want someone with no papers pretending on occasions to be younger than they are sitting next to your 16 year old or being fast tracked into a school your child was just about to go to?

Bleating about building more houses or schools is really not possible. We cannot do it for the people in the UK.

WahineToa · 14/10/2022 09:27

The days of the British Empire being the policeman of the world is mostly over and when it is really over, then that will be a day to celebrate.

If eastern Europe want to fight, let them.

what an unpleasant naive stupid thing to say. The ‘great British empire’ caused untold misery around the world too. Would you like all the descendants of Brits from that era who now dominate native populations in NZ, Australia and elsewhere to come back? You want to talk about your empire and everything you do, let’s go for it. You better know your history though, not many of you actually do.

SarahR2022 · 14/10/2022 09:36

Its the ususal thing isnt it....the government makes a massive gesture and the public is left holding the baby....I watched the news last night and there was a Ukrainian woman moaning about having to get her own place and that her poor children would be disrupted again....my first thought was....well its better than being shelled every day....!!! Maybe im being unreasonable but they are safe and have the opportunity yo make a fresh start....I wouldnt feel bad about asking them to leave....just my opinion

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 14/10/2022 09:38

The one family I’ve met ( other, granny, small boy) since they’re staying near a dd, I’m sure would love to be able to go home. The little boy still asks why they can’t go home - he misses his daddy and asks why their country is being bombed. He’s only just 5. 😥

Doubtmyself · 14/10/2022 09:38

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There's no such thing as 'illegals' - Its not illegal to cross the channel

Secondly what do you propose to 'get tougher' for fucks sake on migrants corssing the channel that's not been proposed already? Sinking the boats perhaps? Sending them to the middle of Africa in a country with dodgy human rights? Oh , I forgot that's the dream of our new home sec.

Genuine asylum seekers can claim wherever they want, its up to them, there is no law that dictates that.

People in this country have to accept, its the 4th richest country in the world, guess what ? People will want to come here.

This dead 15 month old doesn't look like a young man in designer trainers to me...

news.sky.com/story/toddlers-body-that-washed-up-in-norway-is-boy-who-drowned-during-migrant-channel-crossing-12327158

As for Ukrainians, 30,000 or so in a country of 68 million? Yes, they are really going to be a strain on the economy, how we will cope?? But we can afford to borrow billions to fund tax cuts to middle class earners like my family.....

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 14/10/2022 09:38

Mother, not other!

CourtneeLuv · 14/10/2022 09:39

GonnaGonnaGoing · 13/10/2022 22:52

I think councils doing these things are short-sighted and foolishly unaware that it will lead to discontent.

They don't care. This is what led to brexit. The prioritisation of refugees and immigrants - people new into the country - over UK born people and people that have been paying into the system for years.

SarahR2022 · 14/10/2022 09:40

Dotjones · 14/10/2022 09:17

I started to read that article but got rather exasperated by the line

"It's really stressing me out," sighs Clare. "I'm not going to chuck them out. But at the same time my job is done."

No, Clare, your job is not "done" as you put it. The war is still going on and may well go on for many years. This was obviously a risk even when this scheme began.

Your job is most definitely done....the agreement was 6 months....jesus christ

GonnaGonnaGoing · 14/10/2022 09:42

WahineToa · 14/10/2022 09:27

The days of the British Empire being the policeman of the world is mostly over and when it is really over, then that will be a day to celebrate.

If eastern Europe want to fight, let them.

what an unpleasant naive stupid thing to say. The ‘great British empire’ caused untold misery around the world too. Would you like all the descendants of Brits from that era who now dominate native populations in NZ, Australia and elsewhere to come back? You want to talk about your empire and everything you do, let’s go for it. You better know your history though, not many of you actually do.

Don't be dense.

RedToothBrush · 14/10/2022 09:44

Our small area took in more than 100 Ukrainians. So there is a community here. There are a lot of relationships turning sour - between hosts and guest and between Ukrainians.

In terms of the local high school, no kids have taken places of British kids. The school was technically full but they have to offer a certain number of bulge places for any child regarded as vulnerable, which they all qualify for. It no spaces have gone to Ukrainians over British kids because those places didn't exist to begin with and it was always unlikely that new spaces would become available as you get very few movers out because of the good school.

There is a very clear split here though. Some are desperate to work. Others not. And this really upsets the ones who have got jobs. I know of one Ukrainian woman who makes a point of avoiding some of the others for this reason. She has been here 2 months now and is moving out of my friends house soon.

Others Ukrainians are complaining about the cost of renting. Ironically we live in an area of availability and relatively cheap rents. It is doable on full time minimum wage here. One family I know have told their host they intend to take a one bed flat though. That's simply not going to wash with a landlord around here. They may struggle to get a landlord to accept them in a 2 bed. They have two incomes so they should manage to afford it here but in intending to only look at 1 beds they are going to make the process more difficult. It's a cultural difference that host is struggling to convey.

Hosts are growing frustrated by the lack of any sign of guests getting jobs and not attempting whatsoever to find somewhere else to go. It's not even the cost that the problem - its the attitude. Many felt that guests would actively seek to become independent but unfortunately that's not the case for many.

The cost is far exceeding £350 for many once you consider how much they spent on preparing rooms as well as increased bills. Its sundry expenses that have built up considerably. Its completely unsurprising that many want to end hosting in that context.

Some people have had a really positive experience with hosting but it's a really mixed bag.

Council and government ineptitude really hasn't helped. One of the key issues on that was the expectation that the war would last no longer than 6 months and then most Ukrainians would return when the scheme was set up. That's gone out the window.

Its a mess for everyone caught up in it.

Kentgirl2525 · 14/10/2022 09:44

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Exactly this!

Tegelflughafen · 14/10/2022 09:46

@urgen so the 6th richest nation in the world cannot build more schools or social housing ? Wow.
Funnily enough our guest has found paid employment and is working all the hours god sends her. She's saving £500 p/m to put towards a deposit. She's asked very little from us tbh.
Oh and we aren't rich lawyers from London. We live in a 3 bed terrace in a shitty town in the north west. Certainly were not virtue signalling and very few folk actually know we are hosting. Even we knew it wouldn't be a short term thing so chose carefully who we hosted. In the early days it was literally like a free for all, people falling over themselves to open their homes up to strangers with young children. Absolutely no thought to the future. My guest showed us a ukrainian joke doing the rounds about the 'brits and their ukrainian pets'....

Georgeskitchen · 14/10/2022 09:46

@Doubtmyself it was desperately sad about the little boy drowned but they were already in a safe country- France

oakleaffy · 14/10/2022 09:48

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Agree so much with this.
Especially the “Bleeding heart liberals” who live in wealthy areas who are never impacted by it, who never need social housing , and who can likely afford private schools and healthcare.

Sadly Brexit was “Won” on migration controls-
People gave that reason over and over “ We need to be stricter on migrants- especially the young males who flock to UK by dinghy.
Pro- Brexiteers are saying illegal immigration is worse than ever, and the NHS is on it’s knees with no extra funding, as promised by Farage et al.