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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Ukrainian families may just have to..

329 replies

FindingMyself1999 · 13/10/2022 22:15

Go back? bbc article

such a sad situation but we barely have enough housing or school places as it is. Unless the hosts can act as guarantors? That’s a possibility ?

the government really hasn’t thought through the aftermath of the hosting scheme.

OP posts:
Tegelflughafen · 14/10/2022 09:49

@Georgeskitchen well leaving the EU means we can't send anyone back. Talk about shooting ourselves in the foot 😂

WahineToa · 14/10/2022 09:49

the government makes a massive gesture and the public is left holding the baby

Well they made the gesture after a huge public response and demand to let them in. The government doesn’t have the means to house them all, but they responded because the public and media demanded it.

Whitepouringglue · 14/10/2022 09:50

Have you seen the news? We can't send them back now. Don't be ridiculous.

Tegelflughafen · 14/10/2022 09:50

@oakleaffy absolute bollocks. Stop reading the DM.

Badger1970 · 14/10/2022 09:52

Anyone with an ounce of common sense knows that wars don't end on set dates. This could rumble on for decades, and I have little sympathy for those who thought 6 months was a magic deadline.

We had space and did consider the idea briefly, but I like our privacy too much and the cultural difference is enormous (my Dad had a 10 year relationship with a Ukranian woman).

oakleaffy · 14/10/2022 09:57

Tegelflughafen · 14/10/2022 09:49

@Georgeskitchen well leaving the EU means we can't send anyone back. Talk about shooting ourselves in the foot 😂

Own goal territory!
Leaving EU has been disastrous.
It caused the hard working Polish and especially to leave our area - a great loss.

Doubtmyself · 14/10/2022 09:58

Georgeskitchen · 14/10/2022 09:46

@Doubtmyself it was desperately sad about the little boy drowned but they were already in a safe country- France

There is no law that states they must seek refuge in first safe country they reach, so wishing they stayed in France isn't going to stop them.

oakleaffy · 14/10/2022 10:01

Tegelflughafen · 14/10/2022 09:50

@oakleaffy absolute bollocks. Stop reading the DM.

I don’t read Daily Heil, but fear of uncontrolled migration was the main reason given why people voted for Brexshit.
A simple google will show you that.
I voted to stay in EU.

Doubtmyself · 14/10/2022 10:03

urgen · 14/10/2022 09:25

I wonder if it was YOU that lost a place for your child at your chosen school and YOU who moved down the housing list because someone jumped in front of you you would feel the same?

It is easy to pontificate about helping the young men on the boats with no papers (funny that) who are claiming to be fleeing for their lives. Do you want someone with no papers pretending on occasions to be younger than they are sitting next to your 16 year old or being fast tracked into a school your child was just about to go to?

Bleating about building more houses or schools is really not possible. We cannot do it for the people in the UK.

Oh for fucks sake, we can give billions for tax cuts and lock downs, but can't accomodate 30,000 Ukrainian families seeking refuge?

We can't accomodate asylum seekers when much poorer countries take millions more than us, the 4th richest country in the world.

F

VerityFab74 · 14/10/2022 10:09

I hosted a Ukrainian lady. She did get full time work - pub cash in hand - she wanted us to pay the cash into our bank account and transfer to her. (She has a Uk bank account). We refused - two reasons she should have been paying tax and NI , plus we are self employed and didn’t want this money going into our accounts.
She constantly complained about the rain and wanted the heating at 25 degrees. We heated her room and paid for higher tog bedding etc.
But nothing was ever good enough and she left to live in at the pub she worked at. I was so relieved when she left.
She had come to us from Poland but had said she was in Ukraine in February. But after she arrived she admitted to working in Poland before Feb. And her mother and family had lived in Poland for two years. Yes they have a home in Western Ukraine but only a brother was living there. She had been studying in Kiev but living in Poland - online course.
When she left she said we were ok because we were getting money from government. At that point we had not received any money. She stayed two months and we received one payment. We paid for her airfare plus extra luggage, two lots of new bedding plus we paid for food the first few weeks. Extra heating costs. We didn’t do it for the money but because we wanted to share our good fortune in having a home .
Would I do it again - no.

GonnaGonnaGoing · 14/10/2022 10:11

But if every one of those 30,000 displaced persons was bumped up the housing list, that means that there are 30,000 nationals who will have sacrificed their place This is because, like it or lump it, extra social housing will not be built overnight.

Saying For Fucks Sake is not really a reasonable response to those who will be asked to make that sacrifice.

The fact that councils will be doing this comes from the BBC article quoted at the beginning of this thread.

If primary schools then bump Ukrainian children ahead of nationals, again it will be a national somewhere giving up their place. These concerns need to be listened to because they are real concerns and telling people they are bigots or yelling FOR FUCKS SAKE at them will not help.

Crazykatie · 14/10/2022 10:11

Some of the Ukrainians were driven from their houses by the Russians, many took the opportunity to leave as refugees voluntarily. Before the war there was no way they could leave because no country would give them a visa to migrate. Even a tourist visa was impossible for most, in the UK we just don’t realise how difficult it is for many foreign nationals to travel.

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp · 14/10/2022 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

My experience too plus they’ve been going back to Ukraine for two week holidays every other month!

sashagabadon · 14/10/2022 10:27

WahineToa · 14/10/2022 09:49

the government makes a massive gesture and the public is left holding the baby

Well they made the gesture after a huge public response and demand to let them in. The government doesn’t have the means to house them all, but they responded because the public and media demanded it.

Exactly. It was people and media pressure that forced the government’s hand on this. And now those same people are”shocked” it’s a rushed scheme with no follow up. Well duh! Of course that is the case.
if you invited a Ukrainian into your home and sponsored them that is on you and morally they are your responsibility imo.
it makes me laugh a little at the naivety tat they now have to make their visitor “homeless” formally to access council help. That has been the system in place since the 90’s probably before too. Where was your “shock and horror” for the last 30 years??
oh yes, it’s never affected you before.

sashagabadon · 14/10/2022 10:34

SarahR2022 · 14/10/2022 09:36

Its the ususal thing isnt it....the government makes a massive gesture and the public is left holding the baby....I watched the news last night and there was a Ukrainian woman moaning about having to get her own place and that her poor children would be disrupted again....my first thought was....well its better than being shelled every day....!!! Maybe im being unreasonable but they are safe and have the opportunity yo make a fresh start....I wouldnt feel bad about asking them to leave....just my opinion

It’s completely the other way round. Some of the public made the grand gesture and the government gave in to the howling from the media and now local councils ( that control housing) are left holding the baby.

DysonSpheres · 14/10/2022 10:34

.

IndiGlowie · 14/10/2022 10:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Yes seen this in my town stood smoking in shop doorways , in the bookies all day . True refugees will pay their way and value education . They give more than they take . Unlike these young men.

forgodssnake · 14/10/2022 10:35

Aishah231 · 14/10/2022 06:23

We're not protecting ourselves when we send weapons to the Ukraine. We're escalating tensions and prolonging the inevitable - which is peace talks and compromise. It suits the US to have a long bloody war in the Ukraine. There weapons manufacturers will make billions and they are a long way away from the warzone. Unless the West want to send in serious numbers of troops the Ukraine can't win - they can only prolong. It sounds like the kind thing to do to help but it's not. At the start of this conflict the Ukraine was offered peace if it agreed not to join NATO. The helpful West didn't even investigate that offer.

Ukraine is an independent state not a buffer zone for 'The evil West'. It is not for Putin, West or you to decide about Ukraine aspirations and plans.

'for Eastern European scholars like us, it’s galling to watch the unending stream of Western scholars and pundits condescend to explain the situation in Ukraine and Eastern Europe, often in ways that either ignore voices from the region, treating it as an object rather than a subject of history, or claiming to perfectly understand Russian logic and motives. Eastern European online circles have started using a new term to describe this phenomenon of people from the Anglosphere loudly foisting their analytical schema and political prescriptions onto the region: westsplaining. And the problem with westsplaining is illustrated particularly well when pundits westsplain the role of the eastward expansion of NATO in triggering Russia’s attack (...)
The prescriptive implications of this position are clear: NATO should cease its efforts to woo countries like Ukraine, and countries like Ukraine should give up any aspirations of becoming members of NATO or potentially the European Union if they want to survive as states. In other words, Eastern European countries should recognize their status as second-class citizens in the community of states and accept their geopolitical role as neutral buffers at the edges of the vestiges of the American and Russian empires (...)
Leftists in particular may think, when criticizing NATO expansion, that they are correcting their own or fellow citizens’ biases as citizens of an imperial power that has often acted in bad faith. They may think they are adequately acknowledging this fraught legacy by focusing their critique on what they perceive to be Western expansionism. But they in fact perpetuate imperial wrongs when they continue to deny non-Western countries and their citizens agency in geopolitics.'

newrepublic.com/article/165603/carlson-russia-ukraine-imperialism-nato

I've got nothing more to say, but freedomnews.org.uk/2022/03/04/fuck-leftist-westplaining/

bringincrazyback · 14/10/2022 10:45

This thread is horrible. It feels like some people are suffering from confirmation bias, and I'm not saying the issues people have outlined with some Ukrainian guests aren't real or valid, but there's so much Daily Fail-style knee-jerk sentiment on here.

I think people really need to be careful about distilling personal experiences into a blanket assumption that this is how things are generally.

vera99 · 14/10/2022 10:47

forgodssnake · 14/10/2022 10:35

Ukraine is an independent state not a buffer zone for 'The evil West'. It is not for Putin, West or you to decide about Ukraine aspirations and plans.

'for Eastern European scholars like us, it’s galling to watch the unending stream of Western scholars and pundits condescend to explain the situation in Ukraine and Eastern Europe, often in ways that either ignore voices from the region, treating it as an object rather than a subject of history, or claiming to perfectly understand Russian logic and motives. Eastern European online circles have started using a new term to describe this phenomenon of people from the Anglosphere loudly foisting their analytical schema and political prescriptions onto the region: westsplaining. And the problem with westsplaining is illustrated particularly well when pundits westsplain the role of the eastward expansion of NATO in triggering Russia’s attack (...)
The prescriptive implications of this position are clear: NATO should cease its efforts to woo countries like Ukraine, and countries like Ukraine should give up any aspirations of becoming members of NATO or potentially the European Union if they want to survive as states. In other words, Eastern European countries should recognize their status as second-class citizens in the community of states and accept their geopolitical role as neutral buffers at the edges of the vestiges of the American and Russian empires (...)
Leftists in particular may think, when criticizing NATO expansion, that they are correcting their own or fellow citizens’ biases as citizens of an imperial power that has often acted in bad faith. They may think they are adequately acknowledging this fraught legacy by focusing their critique on what they perceive to be Western expansionism. But they in fact perpetuate imperial wrongs when they continue to deny non-Western countries and their citizens agency in geopolitics.'

newrepublic.com/article/165603/carlson-russia-ukraine-imperialism-nato

I've got nothing more to say, but freedomnews.org.uk/2022/03/04/fuck-leftist-westplaining/

Tankies gonna tank

Genevieva · 14/10/2022 11:00

This was completely predictable. The initial offer was up to six months so Ukrainian refugees could get themselves sorted upon arrival. Fine if you speak fluent English and have a recognised qualification, but unrealistic if you don't. Having guest for more than a few nights is a strain, so these families have been incredibly generous, but they need their homes back. That may mean that some Ukrainians have to return to Ukraine. Ukraine is a big country. There are safe areas and the international support has prevented the Russian advance, so I think this is probably for the best. Living where you can speak the language and can get a job is essential for independence and well being. In an ideal world we would be able to absorb them all, but we are a small country with severe financial strains and an extremely high cost of living, so we can't.

SaySomethingMan · 14/10/2022 11:05

PixellatedPixie · 14/10/2022 08:52

Something to consider is that the UK has the lowest unemployment in decades and we actually have a shortage of workers in many areas. Many countries in Europe have a similar shortage. Culturally , Ukrainians are known for working hard and not wanting to claim benefits. It’s seen as quite shameful and embarrassing in many circles to claim benefits.

And yet, there are numerous first account of many happy to take benefits…

oakleaffy · 14/10/2022 11:06

WahineToa · 14/10/2022 09:27

The days of the British Empire being the policeman of the world is mostly over and when it is really over, then that will be a day to celebrate.

If eastern Europe want to fight, let them.

what an unpleasant naive stupid thing to say. The ‘great British empire’ caused untold misery around the world too. Would you like all the descendants of Brits from that era who now dominate native populations in NZ, Australia and elsewhere to come back? You want to talk about your empire and everything you do, let’s go for it. You better know your history though, not many of you actually do.

Completely agree- British Empire was not good for the original inhabitants of the Lands overtaken.
Indigenous People completely overridden, and pushed aside, to exploit those Lands for valuable resources and nothing more than that, To bring Wealth to the colonisers.

England was one of the biggest dope dealers going, selling Indian opium to China, causing addiction and all the pain that goes with that.

Grandad said in his classroom 1930’sthere was a World Map with the Empire coloured in red, and Empire day was celebrated with Flag waving and a half- holiday.

The children weren’t taught of the negative impact of the Empire, however.

If all the British people were expelled from Aus and NZ, those Countries would be suddenly be quite empty.
NZ is a lovely place- Not been, but DS has, and says one can drive all day and not see another person.

By your Username, you may well be a New Zealander?

barofsoap · 14/10/2022 11:09

difficult - TBH there was no way I was going to have someone to stay despite the fact that I have plenty of room and can speak a smattering of east european languages, the fact is I like to live my own life and having guests for more than a couple of days is exhausting - probably the introvert in me.

Stripyhoglets1 · 14/10/2022 11:13

Councils and housing provision was already on its knees after a decade of cuts, covid etc. Then they were given a huge task of assisting with the Ukraine scheme.
Now Ukrainians are entitled to access housing, homelessness services and the waiting list same as anyone else who is eligible. Councils don't have to prioritise them over other eligible people but they will be prioritised generally as homeless.
Asylum seekers are different. They are housed by the home office until their claims are decided (cannot work during that time).

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