Not to forgive MIL for this?

[forgiveormakehimpay]

It was her birthday Sunday.

All 3 of her DC and their wives came to her house for a 'get together'

She was reminiscing about family and old times. Her dad came up in conversation

She said 'Ahh, I love the name Andrew. I so wish one of my grandchild got to have that name'

It was a bit of an awkward silence and then she looked at me and said 'Sorry but it's true :) I know that might be hard to hear' and she came over and patted me on the hand, before walking into the kitchen to ask if anyone wanted a top up

My son was called Andrew. He was born early and passed away shortly afterwards. Nobody has ever mentioned him since, and refuse to. But mention my SIL's stillborn daughter.

AIBU to never forgive her? Split with my H a few weeks ago because he wasn't helping with DS1. I came to her birthday because I thought I'd be wanted there

My God, there's not much shocks me but that's absolutely appalling. What a horribly wicked thing to say. Jesus.

Keep well away from her, she doesn't even deserve to speak your little boy's name.

What an absolute thundercunt of a woman, she went way, way too far, I wouldn't even know how to respond to this. I like to think I'd have tore her such an impressive, new arsehole she'd never speak again without speaking twice. But I know that isn't possible when children are there.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby op, he was beautiful and he was yours.

How old is your mother in law? Lack of empathy is one of the indicators of the onset of Alzheimer’s.

I’m sorry op. She is a bitch. I wouldn’t let her anywhere near me, or my children again if I was in your shoes.

That was a poisonous remark from her. I’m sorry, OP. Protect yourself from her nastiness and don’t ever bother with her again. How dare she use the loss of your wee boy Andrew to hurt you, that is calculated spite.

BasiliskStare · Today 01:13
@MightyOaks - I don't know whether to laugh or cry I have asked for the post to be removed & the post which pointed out what it was . In my defence I have very bad eyesight and my keyboard needs new batteries, I examined the icon with my magnifying glass and thought Oh what the holy fuck is that . Certainly not what I meant to do. You are correct imagining my panic ;)

I hope it isn’t deleted. This is gold! 🌟🤣

That was a dreadful insensitive thing to say. So sorry for your loss.

I think you are being unreasonable not to ever forgive her, I think that's a reaction that is a bit over the top. But I can see that you have every right to be angry and very, very hurt and might want to withdraw and give her a wide berth for a while. In fact that might help teach her some greater tact and respect.

Unless she's proved herself to be a danger to your DS I don't see why contact with them should be withdrawn.

She might also be experiencing early signs of dementia (depending on how old she is)

I would take great delight in telling her, next time that she asks you to go to something, that the way she behaved last time made you feel so hurt and unwelcome that you’ll never be attending anything she organises again. She blew it and has nobody to blame but herself. She can see her grandchildren on her son’s days.

The thing with saying something like this is she makes herself look like she has the beginnings of dementia or just plain nasty

Either way people whilst they might have been stunned silence and she might think she has been terribly clever, other spouses in the room will have noted what she said and to not want to rock the boat hadn’t said anything but it would make them wary of get togethers in the future.

Could you message her thanking her for the invitation and how you are glad that ex has moved in with her as you now can see she wasn’t coping when you saw her and I suppose little slips of memory are to be expected and what a big help he will be to her in the coming months/years when the inevitable happens.

Either she can deny she needs any help and her memory is perfectly fine in which case ask her why would she be such an evil bitch to her own son. He lost his son too.

I would also ask when it comes to custody that she has no contact with your child as she obviously has a nasty side towards you and no filter and you don’t want your child to hear nastiness directed at his mother

@forgiveormakehimpay - thank you for being gracious , I really do have a keyboard with a mind of its own when batteries not up to snuff & I do have bad eyesight and a magnifying glass on my desk so I can see stuff. But my post was well meant - I just managed to snatch defeat etc .