To think they've made a mess of my DD's hair? Pics included

[MylittleDD]

DD (3.5) had lovely long dark hair which almost reached her bum, she loved it long as she said it made her feel pretty. She loves me styling it in different ways, fish tail plaits etc.

Her fringe was getting too long and the ends needed a trim so OH took her to the hairdressers this afternoon. I told him to make sure they don't take off any more than 2 inches.

This is what she came home like, see pictures attached.

DD is upset and is adamant she hates it dispite me trying to reassure her that she looks beautiful and that her hair will grow back longer and stronger.

I'm really upset about this, largely because DD is upset but ffs just look at it. It isn't even straight.

I'd put money on that cut having been done by your husband. Especially if he is being even the slightest bit defensive about it.

it is a very bad cut. But i would be more worried that at 3.5 years old she even cares what her hair is like.

My boys would!
When dc 4of4 was 3.5 and my mum tried to make him have a haircut he did get upset because "it's MY hair" and if he agreed to a trim and git a foot off he'd have been very upset.
Dc 2of4 has curls half way down his back and would flip his lid if this happened to him.

People, and that includes children, are allowed to have emotional ties to their hair and how it contributes to their self worth. You don't get to decide what makes another person feel beautiful.

@Bentoforthehorde
Absolutely.
My son does care about his hair, he has preferences and he likes to look nice.
I don’t know what happened to people here, since when feeling pretty or handsome became such a taboo. Yes, OP’s daughter is young. But why everyone is so hypocritical in trying to pretend that people, including young people, don’t care or shouldn’t how they look like? Being bold is a preference too, having no make up is a preference too… all people care. My mother never said I was pretty, even though I was. I suffer life long difficulties with confidence. I always tell my children they are pretty and handsome. I do tell them that it’s not what defines them as a person and it’s not the most important thing in life. I do tell them that being a decent person is what they should be proud about. However I do want them to feel beautiful. There is always something to compliment in a person and it’s fine to like own appearance.

I would be raging! This is exactly sort of thing my husband would do too.

I would probably ask for refund, I had my hair ruined at hairdressers and let them try and rectify and they made it even worse!

And I totally get how upset she is, she is used to her long hair and makes her feel pretty and nice about herself, absolutely nothing wrong with that.

It really will grow so quickly.

I would surprise her with lots of nice hair clips, head bands etc that she can wear with her nice new hair.

This!

Make sure she sits up straight or they cut it standing. I would guess they didn’t check how your daughter was sat and she was leant to one side.

People really need to get a grip saying the 3YO 'shouldn't care' 3 is more than old enough to be self-aware. Yes it shouldn't be the main focus of her life but tbh I think most 3YOs have an opinion about their appearance. I am not image conscious with my 4YO but I still remember when she was only just 2 not doing her hair how she liked. She sulked on her way to nursery with me and was still giving me evils when i came to pick her up that evening 🤣 It's perfectly developmentally normal so I don't know why people are treating mum like she just entered her daughter in the next 'little miss bikini' contest...

Bless her. She has absolutely beautiful hair! My three had still had straggly bum fluff at that age 😂

My daughter could only grow a mullet age 3.5. I am pretty pleased about that now, reading this thread. Quite clearly people have been going on about your daughter’s beautiful hair in real life, in the same way that about 90% of posters have gushed about it on here. No wonder little girls are growing up thinking beauty is important and that long hair equates to beauty. Now I think about it, my daughter had a best friend at pre school with bum length hair. When I looked after them both one holiday and took them out and about, randoms would literally stop us in the street and go on about the friends hair and how beautiful she was.

Don't go back!!

When my D's was that age he had beautiful long ringlets. It was glorious. He, however, was desperate for 'flat' hair. I've got curly hair, his brother has got curly hair. I have no idea where this desire for flat hair came from. Kids have their own minds. Ops Dd liked her hair long. I have no idea why this is getting people worked up!

Op, deffo consider complaining but not letting the stylist at it again.

People are nuts.

By 3 and a half you're your own little person and I would have been devastated at that age with that hair cut. I remember my mum getting my hair cut from bum length to bob length for starting nursery (for practical reasons) and I cried and cried and cried. Because I LOVED MY HAIR. Same as I loved pink and glitter and sparkles and princesses. It's who I was, and had absolutely nothing to do with my parents because they had no interest in any of the above.

Sorry you've been getting so much shit from people OP, your daughter has every right to be upset and so do you. Her hair is lovely and thick and healthy and will grow back to rapunzel length in no time!

Looks and fashion are a form of expression in a similar way that painting a picture is. I do agree that we have to teach girls that their value comes from more than how they look but I think they should also learn that there's nothing wrong with taking pride in and enjoying how they look. I don't think allowing a bit of this is nearly as toxic as people think it is. In fact IMO teaching them to be ashamed in any kind of image consciousness is equally as toxic.

I think it can be toxic to praise some children for being beautiful for having certain attributes such a long hair, or blonde hair / blue eyes whatever. Because what about the children who don’t have them? Also, looks, fashion and image are not something most 3 year olds have made decisions about. A 3.5 year old with bum length hair would not have made a decision about growing it bum length because they would have had to make that decision age 1 or something.

I’m a hairdresser and that’s a terrible cut you are absolutely not unreasonable at all, I would definitely get it straightened up by a different stylist

It who is making this little girl 'self aware' that being pretty and having long Disney Princess hair is how she values herself?

I made that comment in reply to the OP calling another poster 'nasty'. I quoted it. You missed the point. I also said that yes it does look awful (actually I said ridiculous), but the comment about growing back was to address the OP's OTT response as if her daughter has been attacked by another poster. It's not that deep.

My dd had very long hair at your dd’s age. I cut it myself as she wouldn’t go to the hairdresser and I made a better job than that!! Fortunately as your dd is so short, it will grow back a lot quicker than if she were an adult.

I would not take her back to the same woman. In fact I think I’d leave it as is for 6 months to grow then get it straightened up then. After that, a regular 6 monthly trim.

Kids do not tend to care about split ends and the adults in the room should have put her comfort above optimum hair quality. She clearly has a lot of hair and for that reason it is likely more robust than the average.

The poster I called nasty commented nothing but hysterical laughter faces, at a little girl who was upset.

That is nasty and I stand by it.

Crikey, if you think me calling somebody nasty is bad you'd be agog at what some of the parents at school would say to anybody who laughed at their upset child.

When they said they'd have to take more off did your DH speak up? Or just nod along?

I dont think he said anything

Crikey, if you think me calling somebody nasty is bad you'd be agog at what some of the parents at school would say to anybody who laughed at their upset child.

The haircut is funny, sorry. Not laughing at the child, it's THE HAIR. You are really too invested in how your 3 year old looks, no wonder she's associating hair and princesses with 'feeling pretty' 😢

So since we are not allowed to compliment someone for their genetic predisposition to good looks are we also not allowed to compliment predisposition towards being intelligent? Good at a sport? Music? It's bloody ridiculous that people aren't allowed to say anything without it being offensive or damaging to kids. It's actually having the opposite to the desired effect. No wonder kids are growing up so fundamentally lacking in resilience....

Yes yes very worried.
I've considered calling SS on the OP.