To not go back full time - ever?

[Geeseflying]

DH and I have one child. I work three days a week.

I don’t like my job but I can just about bear it for three days. If I had to do it for five I would be miserable.

The obvious answer is to get a job I do like for five days. But I am a teacher. Even if I could find something that paid equivalent it would leave us with holidays to cover.

So AIBU to stay PT once DS is school age?

Yeah is ignore switswoo81 to be honest. Teaching is hard graft, that's why there's a national shortage. I've worked in a few good schools but even then the workload was killer and that was before having my own kiddoes. You can be a good dedicated teacher PT without wanting it to be your whole life. And if you worked ft just for the sake of saying you were ft you'd probably end up taking a lesser paid role doing something else therefore same or less money. I think there are very few of us left who can honestly say they teach full time AND have any life or energy outside of work, myself included. You'll always get the smug no all's telling you they teach full time, and manage to leave at 4 every day with no work to take home and then do craft and baking with their own children all night.... But in reality, two to three days teaching is more than enough for anyone. Do what's right for you, your own health and your family. Full time teaching is toxic in my opinion. I wish you all the best.

It’s fine to be PT if you enjoy it and can afford it and your DH is ok with it.

But make sure you have equal pensions. If you split up you shouldn’t be disadvantaged as you working PT presumably means you take on the majority of the household and childcare.

However if you really don’t like teaching I would honesty find something else to do. Being miserable at work for decades is bad for you and the kids you teach.

*I'd
** Know-alls

#knackered teacher 🤦🏼😆

I have worked PT since returning from maternity leave over 20 years ago . I have always picked up on the extra domestic stuff, and caring for elderly family members followed on when child care was no longer necessary. I'm now seeing myself as semi-retired (late 50s)

As others say - it's an agreement you work through with your partner . I preferred to do the domestic/family stuff - he preferred to work extra hours. Luckily we live somewhere housing is relatively cheap and purchased many years back so have been able to afford to live without two FT workers.

I wonder what the MN reaction would be if a man came on here and said, " I don't want to work full time, life's too short- my wife can do it."?

@Geeseflying
You’ve bought into the tired trope of daily nursery is akin to abandonment and you must give up things to be there. Being mum is about presenteeism you simply can’t work ft and be a mum too. You know what it’s mn,the majority will effusively tell you about not missing a single moment and you can make savings etc. i think it’s daft to give up FT work and I observe it’s always women giving things up, women stepping back and stepping down. You have a partner your expectation is he step up and remain FT. Really have a think
career progression
pension
impact financially
you being dependent upon your partner

@wb3

The same as it is here: ok if your partner is ok with it, because you are picking up the domestic load. Not ok if they aren’t ok with it.

I would be totally unimpressed. But I know he never would. Might be old fashioned but we have set roles and it works for us.

My kids are older (juniors and secondary) but I have stayed at 0.8 teaching

I spend either my weekend doing some work and day off is my time for me or I work my day off on school things and take more weekend time.

I just can't do full time teaching any more. It's part time or I'd leave. The pace and workload is insane with kids to look after too.

Don't see why my opinion should be ignored because it is different to yours.

@switswoo81 you a teacher too?

Definitely not unreasonable. I'm a sahm at the moment as I couldn't go back part time at my previous school after dd1 if I could get a 3 day week teaching job around here I'd definitely be happy with that and never increase it

I really couldn’t give a toss about pension or career advancement. I like spending time with DS.

when op quits the teachers will be lining up to take her place!!!!!

Definately stay part-time if you can. As others have said, if you have at least a day off from work in the week, you can catch up on everything else we all need to do - the housework, washing, admin etc. You can then at least properly enjoy alot of the weekend. So much respect for those who work full time because I have no idea when they get anything else done!

I wonder this too. Posters would be rushing on here to say he's a cocklodger and a freeloader, and the OP should get her ducks in a row, and LTB. Seems OK for a woman to work part time though. 😐

@switswoo81 is a teacher. She just has a different outlook to me. I think as long as you are professional and do what it says on the tin if you like - teach effectively - that should be enough.

😮

Thanks for that!

I needed a laugh!

If you think that’s fair on your husband, then why not?

I knew instantly I saw the title it was a teacher.

I do wonder where schools will be in 10-15 years. Teachers leaving in droves or dropping down to part time just to cope.

Honestly, who will be staffing schools in 15 years time or will education have to change drastically because there just aren’t the staff? The current trend cannot continue and schools continue to educate children the way we do now. But it’s not looking like there will be an effective recruitment drive, improved salary or most importantly improved working conditions……so the current trend will continue.

It worries me for the kids who will be teens in 10-15 years time.

Sorry, off. The point of the thread, but almost everyone is a teacher and it’s not just a desire to be part time that comes out, but that being full time isn’t sustainable.

I don't care about career advancement either. From 20yrs in teaching I can see the stress isn't the commensurate with the pay. No thanks!

I love my job (much of the time, not all the time) and am bloody good at it.

Part time teachers aren't unprofessional 🙄

You don’t give a toss about finances,pension,career? Presumably you expect to be taken care of @Geeseflying
you’ll obviously do what you want and maybe even the pretence of discussing it with your partner
just be mindful the real life cautionary tales of giving things up…You know stuff like finances,pension. Career

If I posted and said

I work full time. DH works three days a week. He gets up with DS in the morning, gets him ready for nursery, gets himself ready and then goes to nursery and onto work. I get an hours chill time then before work starts.

In the evening, I can stay at work as late as I need to as DH collects DS from nursery and keeps him happy. He then baths him and reads to him and puts him to bed. He cleans up, does dinner and sorts any laundry.

On his two days off with DS, he has booked toddler signing and music classes he takes him too, as well as library rhyme time and park visits. He cooks healthy lunches and dinners for DS and cleans up afterwards. At the weekend, he takes him swimming and to soft play or to feed the ducks.

He is a very committed dad, does nearly everything round the house and for DS, but I think he should work full time. AIBU?

does anyone seriously think everyone would say yes what a cock lodger?

And I am hoping I am not being called whatever the female equivalent is, but I suspect I am.

Gender pay gap is pro rata anyway. The driver isn't part or full time hours, it's about career progression, job choices, and ingrained sexism that makes people likely to underpay women, and women less likely to negotiate salary.

The same kind of sexism, incidentally, that hides behind sayings like 'I want to take care of my own children".🙄