To not go back full time - ever?

[Geeseflying]

DH and I have one child. I work three days a week.

I don’t like my job but I can just about bear it for three days. If I had to do it for five I would be miserable.

The obvious answer is to get a job I do like for five days. But I am a teacher. Even if I could find something that paid equivalent it would leave us with holidays to cover.

So AIBU to stay PT once DS is school age?

I dont mean this to sound rude but I couldn't give a toss about the gender pay gap.

I want to take care of my own children

I like looking after my husband and family and he likes looking after us.

Me and DH have agreed I won't ever go back full time, providing we can afford it (never know, something could happen to his job). Neither of us earn loads but we make it work and having me available a few days a week is invaluable not only to us but means I can help elderly relatives, everything is kept on top of, we are both just happier.

I teach full time but our set up means I get all my CCR on a Friday and I do it at home.

So I'm only in 4 days 8.20-4 and it works well for us. I prep for the next day 3-4 and I'm home by 4.20 so I can make the dinner and get a wash on.

A Friday is usually spent planning, emails and sorting out stuff like work experience - things I can't do in school like phoning people and child's plan meetings. Very often I have free time on a Friday which is nice.

I really love my school (SEN) but I wouldn't go full time. In fact I want to drop down to 3 days in a few years and retire at 55.

@Dacadactyl i feel the same to be honest, I’m not going to improve the gender pay gap by working full time.

I work full time and DP is a part time teacher. It works for us.

We do not have any family support and it means they are more available for running DC about. Weekends are free because we sort household jobs out during the week. DP does more housework than I do cos I work more hours. Earning don't come into it. We have the same disposable income and free time.

I’m not planning on full time again any time soon/ever.
I work 4 long days and will switch to 5 short days (same total hours) when DD at school. I’m still significantly the main earner on part time money and I was full time for 20 years so I’ve earned it.
I may change my mind if something amazing comes up full time one day but if it doesn’t I don’t see why I should have to. I work 30 hours so it’s not like it’s very fractional really.

well you are currently working 5 days a week, 3 teaching and 2 caring for your dc, or do we think Nannies don’t work?!

tutoring might seem beyond possible now, but when your dcs are school aged so during the term time you get 2 days not working and not having to care for dcs, you might find it easier to tutor one of those evenings. (I live in a grammar area, 11+ tutors charge £30-£35 for 45 min sessions a week, to give you an idea.)

If part time works for your family, why go full time to make yourself miserable?

Me and DH are both teachers. I've been 0.6 since the kids were born, both are now at school (since sept). I don't think we will be able to afford for it to be like this forever, I'll have to up my days at some point but I feel fortunate to have that option.

DH does sometimes feel a bit resentful of my two days off, however I do all the childcare drop offs, pick ups, have dinner on the table when he gets home, washing, cleaning, life admin- everything. So yes, he teaches more, but ALL he does is teach. If I went full time, his quality of life would change too!

I do worry about my pension, but a teachers pension on 0.6 is still a better prospect than lots of people will be facing at 68.

This and all the 'ask your DH' posts implying that the DH will be hard done by... he never has to think about holiday childcare, ever. That's huge. If OP got a FT job it'd likely be a lower pro rata salary (as not teaching) and DH would have to use a lot of leave for holidays. Yes they obviously need to discuss it but really .. it might well be better for all if OP stays PT.
That said, if you hate it OP have you looked at any other schools? They vary so much to work in and even if you do stay at 3 days, you really shouldn't be doing a job you hate.

Thing is three days per week teaching will be about 32 hours which is almost full time anyway. Yanbu

With you 100% OP. You can always pick up additional less stressful work to supplement if need be at a later stage.
People think teachers arrive 5 minutes before the bell , leave 5 minutes after and laze about all weekends and holidays, like they perhaps did in the 70s and 80s.

@napody I would struggle to get a 3 day a week job. And to be fair to the school, they do try to give you the days you want etc.

DH honestly doesn’t have a bad time of it. I cook, I clean, I do all the childcare pick up and drop offs, I get up early, I do the bath and bed routine, I read the stories, clean up the mess, wash the clothes, fry the clothes, put the clothes away.

He’s going away with work soon and he will be able to do that without a second glance. It’s all taken care of here.

There are the odd snippy comments on this thread.

Perhaps it hasn’t been said explicitly, but it’s a luxury these days to be able run a home without 2 full time working adults, so one level it’s a luxury to be part time for a while and more of a luxury if you can do it long term. I’m sure most part timers have a sense of that.

Quite simply, families can make whatever decision works for them if they can afford it. Sometimes couples feel they both need to work similar hours for ‘fairness’ but most don’t see it like this and recognise when just one is part time the whole family gains in terms of that persons input into kids or house or all kinds of other ways. Families work together and often finances are shared and there is a communal effort and team work rather than totting up individual financial contributions. When money is v tight, there’s less flexibility and I can see why duscusssions about being part time due to ‘not liking full time’ etc are a bit irksome to someone who has no choice. But those with more cash always have more choices.

Ultimately there’s no duty or requirement to work all all. Some might be part time and almost full time, some might work 3 hrs per week and of course lots of families have someone who doesn’t work at all or sometimes 2 people. In my view it’s nothing to feel bad about as long as you can do it financially and have ensured you will be okay in retirement and could adjust if a crisis occurred. The latter one is a potential worry of not working at all because plenty of women in particular find themselves in poverty if they get divorced or their spouse dies and they haven’t worked for years. If you’re part time though, you aren’t nearly as exposed and could prob increase your hours, even if not immediately.

Personally I am part time. It works for our family. I know we are lucky to have the option. I also plan to retire pretty early and won’t have any guilt about it. The key is to be doing things you enjoy and are useful, in whatever way you define that. Paid work isn’t any more worthy than not working but doing voluntary work or looking after kids or doing the garden or pursuing a hobby. It’s certainly a luxury to be able to choose, but if you have that choice, there’s no duty or requirement to work.

I am 0.6 and have been since having babies. I will never teach full time again. Fuck. That.

Every day I am grateful for a DP that is happy for me to work PT.

Before I read your post, I knew by your title you had to be a teacher!
I never really heard of another job where working 3 days a week actually mean 5 days in real terms.
I worked out I can only have a weekend if I work a maximum of 3 days a week.
So far, I have a child at primary school and a preschooler but I'm intending to carry on working 3 days a week when they're both at school 5 days a week until I retrain for a new career.

It’s not your sole choice,you’re a couple, how’s it stack up financially as a family
hows your partner feeling about having to be the sole FT earner because you don’t want to work FT
I do think it’s selfish and a bit entitled to absolutely prioritise what you want and leave your partner to be the main earner

I work 9-3, no reason really . I just want to

A lot of teachers don't like their jobs!

It's like GPs. They spend years training, (and borrow 10s of 1000s of £££ of public money for their training,) and then just go part time, coz they can't be bothered to work more than a couple of days a week. Unbelievable.

I do 0.6 too op. Just had baby #3. No intention of upping hours more than 0.8 IF we have to when the kids are all in school. I can't imagine working ft again. DH is fully supportive

I've just gone up to 0.8 (which I have done on and off for the last few years) from 0.6. I am so tired! 0.6 is absolutely perfect in terms of work/life balance. I had to do more because of the cost-of-living crisis. I do love teaching though. I think if you really dislike it, looking for something else might be good or perhaps you might be happier at a new school?

To be honest @Zone2NorthLondon , the one I am prioritising now and always is DS. What I want will always come a long way behind that.

Do I honestly hand on heart think the best thing for him is to spend five days a week in nursery? No, lovely as his nursery is, I don’t.

Do I want him spending five days a week going to school early and leaving late? Do I think that’s best? No, tbh. I recognise many have no choice. I do.

Sorry OP- my use of This at the start of my sentence made it look as if I thought you were being unfair to your DP. I absolutely don't and was disagreeing with those who do! Doesn't sound as if he has a bad deal at all :)

I'll never I back ft either. Life's too short.

If you don't need the money and you can choose to only work part time then I'm not sure what the issue is?

I don’t fry the clothes, by the way.

Its a discussion, not an issue, @CuriousCatfish .