To not go back full time - ever?

[Geeseflying]

DH and I have one child. I work three days a week.

I don’t like my job but I can just about bear it for three days. If I had to do it for five I would be miserable.

The obvious answer is to get a job I do like for five days. But I am a teacher. Even if I could find something that paid equivalent it would leave us with holidays to cover.

So AIBU to stay PT once DS is school age?

Was just reading that thinking ‘god, me too’.. I’m a teacher too, shock 😂 I’ve only gone back 2 days after mat leave, I’ve set up a business to cover the rest of my wage that I do on the other 5 days pretty much but I’m still happier working 7 days than I would be working a second longer in a classroom 🙈

@FrogPool You've made my point for me. There are many many women parenting and working through extreme exhaustion and assuming that it’s the norm. It doesn't have to be and I do not understand why you would be resistant to someone trying to help. I’m not especially ‘lucky’, but I take my health seriously after a scare a few years ago and noticed a huge difference when I started taking supplements. Don’t get bloods if you don’t want to, it makes no odds to me (and is a weird thing to be defensive about) but if you started gentle iron like Spatone or Floradix, vitamin D, and vitamin B complex, I strongly suspect you would notice an improvement.

You mention horrible (my word) staff and students - it sounds as if it's the school and not so much you. Being in a toxic environment is exhausting in itself, let alone working hard in one. Would you consider a move of schools? Alternatively, is there something else that you would like to work at during the two days that you could train in now?

This is an incredibly nasty post. I hope you’re pleased with yourself. Shame on you.

Don’t worry teachers all you need is some vitamin D and you’ll be good to go. Retention crisis solved 👍.

One thing I would say is to get advice from a pension adviser asap, if you can find a way to top up your pension , either from a private pension ( if they exist after the fiasco this week) or from avc and you can afford to then it is a good thing to do as you will be taking a hit.

It really has.

I worked 3 days then 2.5 days a week until my youngest was 9 then went full time because an ideal job came up within the team I already worked with. I really miss part time but enjoy the extra money. If you can afford it and your partner is happy then stick with it. I wouldn’t give up completely though, just in case you ever split.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Absolutely not unreasonable!! I work in the public sector and have just gone down to 30 hours/4 days after mat leave. I'll be going up a pay band in 2 years and I'm hoping to drop to 3 days then. I'm the main earner and I earn about £400 a month more than my partner who is FT but doing compressed hours to spend a day with our son, so it's not like he's taking the financial responsibility. Me doing 22.5 hours would put us at about even, maybe me making about £100 more. It will be tighter but manageable. What I'm trying to say is, if you can afford it, go for it. As long as we can afford it I'll be part time.

I did 0.5 when first DD was born 20 years ago. Increased it to .6 but spread over 4 days. Promoted and went full time but after 5 years did a 9 day fortnight and now do full time hours over 4 days and would never ever change back to full time.

I never went back FT after having DC. Eldest has just started uni...
Like you, I don't enjoy my job at all and can deal with PT but would be very, very unhappy doing it 5 days a week.
It made holidays and sickness easier to deal with when DC were younger but even when they were older it was so much nicer to be around to pick them up/ drop them off some days, support during exams,etc.
I have looked for other jobs over the years but I have so much experience and a niche role doing what I do and just can't find anything to match salary and benefits so stuck with it..

So what do all of these PT workers do when the kids have grown up.

Surely if you carry on PT you're not doing your fair share?

@wb3 well, what about people who don't work at all?

I get where @ThanksItHasPockets is coming from and the personal attack was nasty. There are lots of women with undiagnosed health problems causing fatigue. However in my experience the people who find teaching really emotionally draining to the point they can barely function in the evening are people who are naturally introverted and find intense social interaction very draining, and ND people who are drained by masking all day. You can’t take a vitamin pill for that and long term part time might be a sensible measure to make a career sustainable.

I’ve skim read the responses (what DID the deleted one say …)

I will have no problem filling a day when DS is in school, fear not.

Pension has come up a few times now and I have answered it. I’ll be frank and admit I don’t want to be exhausted and burned out in my 40s and 50s at the expense of my 60s. Plus, I do have nearly twenty years of a full time teaching pension as well as a house we rent out (it was mine before I met DH and we bought a house together, I decided not to sell it and now we have s good tenant.)

If DH feels strongly I should go back full time we’ll have that discussion, but then he really will have to step up and do half of everything.

And why is it an eye opening read?

I mean, is anyone really shocked that a number of women with school age children work part time? It’s fairly normal.

If there are no children, then they're getting a free ride through life.

The title says that you don't ever want to go back full time.

This isn't about children it's about work.

My husband doesn't mind. I've mentioned going FT before but he says if I'm happy PT he doesn't want me to go FT.

I just get to do my hobbies in my 2.5 days off.

I'm right with you OP. My two are teenagers but I still work 3 days a week. It worked well when they were little and now that they're big I end up using time on my days off to do the cleaning, washing, house admin so that we can all have a more free weekend.

I teach too. I love the job on 3 days a week but I wouldn't love it on 5 days a week because I would be exhausted and stressed about the home jobs.

@wb3 true, but I don’t think it would occur to me to be part time if I didn’t have children.

You have the preschool years where obviously childcare is costly and it is nice for the child not to be in it all of the time.

Then the primary school years when they do need care before and after school and school holidays.

Then the secondary school years and arguably I could think about going back FT then but I’ll be 52, I’m not sure I’ll be able to face it! And maybe that is unreasonable - that’s what I’m asking.

If he's OK that's fine.

I stand by my comment that the gender pay gap is partly down to the choices that you and other women make.

@wb3 can't argue with that!

What's wrong with working full time at 52?