Neighbour bought a trampoline to look over our fence

[LazyJayne]

Have had issues with overly friendly neighbour since we moved in. The original divider between our back gardens was a low hedge, and she would come out and talk to us every single time we were out in the garden. And boy, can she talk. She also used to lift her DC over the hedge without asking to play with our DC (who is years older and not interested).

Eventually, we put up a 6ft fence on our side of the hedge. I’d tried to warm her up to the idea of this beforehand by saying we were thinking of getting a dog and needed a fence to keep it in.

When we put up the fence she initially made few jokey comments about how it was harder to talk to us now, but she solved this problem by placing a step on her side and continued to pop up whenever we were out in garden.

My husband then planted bamboo along the fence which shot up over the summer and is now about 8ft.

Last month, we saw from our bedroom window that a large trampoline had appeared in her garden. We assumed it was for her DC and thought nothing of it. However, they don’t use it, she does.

When I was out in the garden a few weeks ago, up she popped over the top of the bamboo, laughing hysterically, and shouting ‘see what I’ve had to resort to! hahaha!’ I said something along the lines of ‘oh yes haha, is that a trampoline for X’ and she said it was originally but he wasn’t interested so she’s going to use it for exercise instead.

So far all her exercises have coincided with us being out in the garden.

We’re now back at square one and whenever we’re out she appears over the bamboo, laughing and shouting.

My husband is very non confrontational and says the bamboo will keep growing and eventually she won’t be able to see over it, but I think this will take year as she must be hitting the 20ft mark at full jump height. We would also start losing light if we let it get that high.

WIBU to tell her directly to give us some privacy? Is there a gentle way to do it that won’t hurt her feelings that we’re missing?

[kateandme]

There is no way to have this conversation nicely though op.and those that say just tell her would you really do this!?

[BiscuitLover3678]

omg this is amazing! But also terrible, I’m so sorry.

Do you actually get on with her otherwise? I don’t even know what to suggest. Respond less, go outside less, I don’t even know.

[Energydrink]

😭🤣😂😂😂😂
PISSING MYSELF LAUGHING!
this cannot be real 😂😂

[BiscuitLover3678]

Maybe you could say something like oh we love chatting to you but after 6pm (or whatever) we like quiet time

[Butternutbee]

I just randomly saw this post and had to stop to comment. I really feel your pain OP!

We had this with our previous neighbours when we only had 4ft fences (couldn’t afford new higher fences). We couldn’t go into our garden without the adults talking to us or the child standing on her strategically placed step (they actually named it the nosey step) so she could stand and stare at us. We tried growing tall plants along the fence line and they made jokey comments about how we were “trying to block them out”. We would politely say things like “oh no it’s not you, we just like our privacy that’s all”. Message not received as they then moved their child’s slide next to the fence so they could stand on the top of that instead. They would even talk to us/stare at us whilst we were eating our dinner outside or when we had company. Often our friends would say how uncomfortable they felt at the 6 year old staring at them in silence, or the adults randomly joining in on our conversations.

Things got worse and the dad started reaching over the fence and picking our small dog up so he could go play in their garden. Whenever we said we weren’t happy about it he brushed it off and went on about how much him and our dog loved each other. He would also put their child in our garden so she could come play with us. We didn’t have children and never indicated in any way that we wanted to play with their child. This usually resulted in a very awkward few minutes of interaction with her before we handed her back over.

The last thing we wanted was a war with our neighbours and neither me nor my husband were confrontational. We tried politely telling them that we weren’t happy about things for years and nothing worked.

It finally came to a head when I was heavily pregnant and slobbing out on the sofa in our front room. The dad came onto our drive and walked across the front garden to knock on the window to wave at me. Our house was set back from the road but still had blinds for privacy. I was absolutely shocked beyond belief that he was stood peering through our blinds at me sitting on the sofa!

That day I sent a very firm text about how he’d overstepped the boundaries and how we saw our gardens (front and back) as extensions of our private property and we expected privacy whilst in our home or garden. I said that from now on we would happily speak if we saw them on the street or driveway but nothing more. It did the trick but they refused to speak to us at all after that, which was honestly a relief but it did make things quite awkward until we eventually moved.

I really hope you manage to get it sorted and I really do sympathise!

[reallyworriedjobhunter]

A scant handful of bird seed every night under cover of darkness and the trampoline will soon be covered in pigeon poo.

Job done.

Until she comes at you with something else.

[Musti]

I am very chatty and will sometimes chat with my neighbours but often just a hi. It is intrusive to speak to your neighbours when they are in their garden unless they specifically ask you over.

[reallyworriedjobhunter]

Power to her though, her pelvic floor must be an absolute cracker.

[msssm]

@Mountainpika

How about getting a trampoline yourselves and encouraging her to bounce from hers to yours - and have yours in such a position that she bounces over into the next garden?
And eventually all the neighbours will have them and with a bit of luck she'll vanish for ever over the fences.

🤣🤣🤣

[MrsMacIsBack]

@Mountainpika

How about getting a trampoline yourselves and encouraging her to bounce from hers to yours - and have yours in such a position that she bounces over into the next garden?
And eventually all the neighbours will have them and with a bit of luck she'll vanish for ever over the fences.

Like a Hedgehog Highway, only an Annoying Neighbour Alley in the sky instead?

[EmmaH2022]

@RIPQueen

have you considered that she’s just joking but you’ve taken it seriously and now you’ve got confirmation bias? Her “see what I’ve had to resort to” is the sort of joke I would make and then be mortified if someone took seriously.

But she's actually using the trampoline and talking to OP.

OP I would tell her straight, she's freaking you out and you don't want to engage.

[surreygirl1987]

That's hilarious.

[GreenFingersWouldBeHandy]

Just talk to her!

You're probably overthinking this. Are you really that interesting that she would pretend to buy a trampoline for her child to (not secretly) spy on you in your 'back' garden?

[MrsMacIsBack]

Perhaps you could supercharge the trampoline - like old school knicker elastic? - and launch her into the stratosphere?

[ittakes2]

Did you put the fence up next to the hedge or instead of the hedge? I was just wondering if it was next to the hedge did you just give her a little bit of your land?

[Moveoverdarlin]

The weather is turning now, you’ll not see much of her over winter hopefully. I think it would be so rude to talk to her about this, poor woman, she’s just being friendly. Appreciate it must be annoying, but from the way you have described her bubbly personality it sounds like you could really hurt her feelings. Surely people aren’t seriously suggesting saying ‘you may speak to us in the front garden, but not in our back garden’.

[EmmaH2022]

@Moveoverdarlin

The weather is turning now, you’ll not see much of her over winter hopefully. I think it would be so rude to talk to her about this, poor woman, she’s just being friendly. Appreciate it must be annoying, but from the way you have described her bubbly personality it sounds like you could really hurt her feelings. Surely people aren’t seriously suggesting saying ‘you may speak to us in the front garden, but not in our back garden’.

Surely you aren't suggesting it's okay for the neighbour to invade privacy the way she does?

[RIPQueen]

@EmmaH2022

But she's actually using the trampoline and talking to OP.

OP I would tell her straight, she's freaking you out and you don't want to engage.

Yes because she bought a trampoline for her son who isn’t using it so is using it to work out? OP was out there so she made a little joke and now OP thinks she’s actually stalking her

[Bunnynames101]

Turn it into a fairground type game. Those where you had a water gun to take down duck or what have you. Invest in a couple of super soaker water guns and whenever she comes out bouncing use her as target practice.

[RedSkyAtKnight]

What a charming neighbour! Aside from the supersoaker, other creative possibilities include strategically placed mirrors (she will be surprised to see her reflection on the bounce!) or ground standing solar panels offering shelter and free electricity!

[EmmaH2022]

@RIPQueen

Yes because she bought a trampoline for her son who isn’t using it so is using it to work out? OP was out there so she made a little joke and now OP thinks she’s actually stalking her

But OP says the lady goes to exercise on the trampoline when OP is in her garden. You're going to say it's a coincidence every time?

[marvellousmaple]

Hopefully you bought clumping bamboo OP. Check the actual variety eg "bamboo ventricosa".. Do you still have the info tag that came with it? Most sold where I live are the clumping type and non-invasive.

[Mummyof287]

Can't be easy but sorry OP this story did give me a real giggle! 😄

[Newmum0322]

Aww I feel sorry for her 😂 she’s obviously lonely! Genuinely I’d be worried that a rude blunt comment might be really damaging. Be kind and all that. I know it’s annoying, I like my privacy… but I’m with your husband on this, just let nature do it’s thing and spare her feelings.

[Shortpoet]

Here for the deletion message.