Big age gap. Is it love or a red flag?

[Noteverybodylives]

I will stay as neutral as possible as I genuinely want peoples true opinions.

Person A and person B are in a relationship.

Person A is young, very good looking, has a good body and has 1 young child.

Person B is not good looking, does not have a good body and has a teenager and older child.

Why would person A want to be with person B?

Person A could have their pick but has chosen person B who would struggle to find anyone half decent.

Person B is not rich.

What could it be?
Could it actually be love or do your alarm bells start ringing?

YABU - of course it’s probably love.
YANBU - no it sounds like something other than love.

Ffs, bloody scary.

OP - surely you must realise that you left pretty much every single relevant point out of your opening post?

As I’ve said multiple times I did this for a reason.

If I said the sexes or background straight away there would have been a lot of bias because it’s human nature to see this situation and suddenly distrust everyone.

I obviously know a lot more than what I’ve said on here and I acknowledge that I am on high alert over it which is why I accepted that I was BU literally on the first page.

Personally I think the faked/fantast pregnancies and miscarriages are a cause for concern. Something weird is going on with her mother there.

Regardless of whether she actually believes that she is repeatedly getting pregnant in her 50s, telling her learning disabled child that she's having repeated miscarriages is not good for the child.

It also indicates potential capacity issues or a mental health crisis in the mother. Because there really is no way that the multiple 'pregnancies' are genuine.

This, all day long. Thank you for posting this @Azandme. You've worded it perfectly and intelligently (obviously more than my little thick head could!).

I'm also a "qualified teacher", and former probation officer who worked specifically with sex offenders, mostly child sex offenders, so I'd say my safeguarding alarm is at least equal to yours.

Based on what you have said I'm seeing your personal bias, and not much else. You've said that there has been zero indication of anything actually happening. All you are basing it on is his looks and their age gap. That's actually really unfair.

Thank you for your balanced opinion.

My head went straight to cuckooing or he’s after the teen, which you will be well aware of and know that it is often younger, charming men who use women for cuckooing or to move fast to get close to their DCs.

But like I said (apart from moving fast) there has been no physical evidence that there is anything suspicious going on here, it is simply a gut feeling.

Which is why I wanted to get opinions on here before reporting my concerns as I would definitely get fired for them.

It's not fucked up at all OP, this family has nothing to do with you, you have ZERO evidence. You have shown disgusting agest and body shaming bias. your obsession is borderline creepy and you have drip fed all long.

You sound unhinged and I'm glad your not in a school setting at the moment.

With views like yours why would anyone believe a word you say. Yet you still refuse to answer any ones questions what is it to do with you and why are you obsessed with this family.

Personally I think the faked/fantast pregnancies and miscarriages are a cause for concern. Something weird is going on with her mother there.

Regardless of whether she actually believes that she is repeatedly getting pregnant in her 50s, telling her learning disabled child that she's having repeated miscarriages is not good for the child.

Me saying the mum is a shit mum and puts her vagina before her daughter would be being nice.

Obviously I don’t want to go into full details but mum telling her DD that she was pregnant and coming up with baby names even before she had a scan - was typical her but she was definitely reported and strong words were had.

Also OP why are you sharing all this families details on a public forum? Do you think they would appreciate what you are saying on here. Your a nasty piece of work.

It's not fucked up at all OP, this family has nothing to do with you, you have ZERO evidence. You have shown disgusting agest and body shaming bias. your obsession is borderline creepy and you have drip fed all long.

Ok troll.

Me saying someone is older, has a worse body and less attractive than their partner isn’t agest or body shaming - it’s literally fact.

I can’t be dealing with this whole - ‘you have to say everyone is as attractive as each other’ BS else you get cancelled.

I stated facts.

The man gives me the creeps, makes my skin crawl and I’ve already said I won’t be alone in the same room with him - that doesn’t mean I don’t recognise that he is attractive and has a gym fit body and that many women would be attracted to him.

Money

Also OP why are you sharing all this families details on a public forum? Do you think they would appreciate what you are saying on here. Your a nasty piece of work.

😂😂😂

Ok so one minute I’m being accused of withholding information, then drip feeding and now sharing all the families details - what a joke!

As I said I’ve barely touched the surface and have left A LOT out.

Are you new?
Because every single other thread will share details about whoever they’re talking about on a public forum.

Me saying the mum is a shit mum and puts her vagina before her daughter would be being nice.

WTF??? What is this about. Are you seriously still trying to tell us you're a qualified teacher and in charge of safeguarding concerns in some other capacity too?

I honestly don't know whether alarm bells are ringing or I'm just sp angry at myself for keep getting drawn back in to thus bullshit.

@Noteverybodylives you really are showing yourself up now.

I'm relatively new to MN compared to other posters so excuse my ignorance on this matter. If a particular poster is reported to MN and sincere concerns on things that might be happening IRL are expressed, can that poster be traced and investigated IRL? Asking for a friend...

I have seen some disturbing things in my time but @Noteverybodylives is really coming across as the person who need to seek help. I sincerely hope their employer thinks twice about keeping them on.

Lol go back under your bridge.

Still refusing to answer the questions then?

WTF??? What is this about. Are you seriously still trying to tell us you're a qualified teacher and in charge of safeguarding concerns in some other capacity too?

Never heard one of your teachers swear before 😂

I think you’d pass out if you ever entered the staff room.

You still have not answered in what capacity you "work with" this girl.

If she or her mother read this thread, they would immediately identify themselves. If you're in a position in which you are responsible for looking after any part of their welfare then you are hugely unreasonable.

And what particular troll are you directing that comment to? Anyone in particular, or does that cover everyone who is waving red flags 🤔

Still refusing to answer the questions then?

What question?

I have answered everything everyone had asked of me and tried to reply to each comment.

Posters are trying to trip me up but instead keep tripping themselves up.

Nothing about the swearing OP, it's the manner in which you talk about people who you say you have responsibility for in your professional capacity. But carry on digging yourself your career grave, I'm 'logging' and 'reporting' everything - nothing to do with you being an ugly person, of course, because you sound bloody delightful

You still have not answered in what capacity you "work with" this girl.

If she or her mother read this thread, they would immediately identify themselves. If you're in a position in which you are responsible for looking after any part of their welfare then you are hugely unreasonable.

Firstly, it would be highly unlikely that either of them would read this themselves for reasons I won’t go into.

Secondly, I’m not going to say my role when it is a niche role and therefore completely out myself.

Lots of people are aware of their background, it’s no secret and we are all aware of much more than what’s been said on here.

Unfortunately, this isn’t a unique situation but even if it is identifying then it’s nothing that no one doesn’t know, which is why I’ve been extra careful when talking about the DD, her sibling or the young child and focused on the parents.

If my colleagues see this (and I’m hoping they do) then great because it means I’ve put my genuine concerns out there without putting myself at risk.

Nothing about the swearing OP, it's the manner in which you talk about people who you say you have responsibility for in your professional capacity.

Another lie.
Not once have I said I have a responsibility for either adult.

OMG am I really getting drawn into this again. You specifically said you work with this girl and had a safeguarding responsibility. Want me to copy and paste those bits too??