Does my partner owe me cash for injuring me ?

[Namehasbeenchangedtoprotecttheinnocent]

Partner and I had a fight a year ago. It got physical and my finger got broken. Never been physical before or since. Both of us very ashamed. Basically- I’d been drinking & he was sober. Big argument kicked off. I went to bed as could see where it was heading ( big argument I mean-
not physical fight) I told him to sleep in other room but he followed me in and continued arguing. Tried to take duvet off bed. I was shouting at him and holding onto duvet. He slapped me ( only time ever happened) and there was scuffle. Finger obviously broken and confirmed by ED. So this were gets complicated. Turns out I have benign tumour in finger which why broke so easily.
Had hellish year of operations/ bone grafts / infections which has cost me a fortune and all my sick pay. I’m angry as if he hadn’t assaulted me in first place this wouldn’t be happening ( but probably would have at some point ) but yes not his fault I had tumour which means it broke so easily / isn’t healing. So AIBU to expect him to pay for operations or generally feel responsible
for what happened or do I suck it up?

This not about how dysfunctional it was to have this fight in the first place- that’s a WHOLE other post! Genuinely interested in peoples thoughts

The real question is: why are you still with him?

Pay for operations? Are you not using the NHS?

Ignoring the whole shit storm of the build up to it surely it’s better that the tumour was found when it was?

Was he prosecuted? Are you still with him?

You think the fight was the only dysfunctional part of the relationship? You are posting about getting compensation from your boyfriend / partner and you think that isn't an indicator of dysfunction?

This.

The whole thinking indicates dysfunction, not just the fight.

You not in the UK op? How much did your medical care cost? Would the tumor have required operating on anyway ?

This. Are you in the UK? If so are you talking about lost earning costs?

Did you stay with him?

There's a lot going on there but as you've asked us to ignore the fact you had the fight in the first place I'll do that and make this breif!

1. If this hadden happened you'd still have a tumor unknow to you spreadng, so in a weird way it did you a favour
2. Couples are supposed to work through thes things together. I think he should help pay for your medical bills, but because he's your partner and that's what couples do not because he broke your finger!

No, you don’t get to tell people they cant comment on the dysfunctional relationship while you spill it everywhere

your partner is not going to give you money for injuring you, not exactly sure how you imagine thats supposed to work anyway since it sounds like his injuring you caused you to get an earlier diagnosis not cause the problem

anyway. Dont stay with partners whose angry actions leave you in a and e. EVER

Are you in the UK? You should have reported him to the police. Why are you both still together. I'm sorry all this has happened wrt your finger and the tumour but you need to take a step back and really reevaluate everything. He should have a criminal record.

No he doesnt pay. You said finger probably wouldn't have broken if it weren't for tumour.

Why are you together? He hit you!
And why are you paying for medical treatment?

Which country are you in that you have to pay for operations due to a tumour??!

So... you got drunk... (your fault) you had a fight (both at fault) your finger broke because you were fighting (ditto) and there was a tumour in it that made it weaker .
And you want him to pay?!!!

Bonkers! Say sorry yes. Address you behaviour towards each other..definitely. Feel responsible? Partially maybe but I think it would difficult to claim in court that he should pay your bills (assume you are in the USA?) because you broke your finger in a domestic, while drunk because it had a tumour!

The better question is why is he still with her?

Yes it is barmy to expect him to pay you. However, in a loving committed relationship where one person was having a hard time I would expect the other partner to help them out and pick up some of the slack financially or otherwise.

But, and it's a showstopping but, this isn't a loving relationship. You're basically asking if you should be pissed off that there no icing on your cake when the cake is made of dog turds.

If you don’t care about the mental and emotional cost of him beating you, why do you care about the financial cost?

I'm assuming you're not in the UK if you're having to pay for surgery.
Why on earth are you even together? I'd want to cut ties completely. Sue him if you want the cash. 🤷‍♀️

I think OP is not in the UK as she refers to the ED not A&E so that's probably why she's paying for operations.

If you have a tumour, surely it's far better you know about it earlier.

As for him, I would have immediately left him and curbed how much I drank in future.

This. You would have needed hosp. treatment anyway. Better to find it sooner and get it dealt with before it could spread.

it isn't his fault you have a tumour, why would he owe you money?

You could bring a civil case for damages, but you were drunk, your judgement may have been impaired and there were no witnesses so you have no chance of winning. What a very odd question.

I wouldn't expect to be given any money for this. I can't imagine the relationship is as good as you think it is if you're trying to get money from him.

Hmm, you've written this in a v oblique way -

Basically- I’d been drinking & he was sober. Big argument kicked off.

Arguments don't just 'kick off'. Sounds like you're dancing around the fact that you were as much to blame here. Which doesn't excuse the slap, of course, nothing would, but this is is far from straightforward the way you've put it. Even before getting to the point that the tumour was the problem, why are you paying for operations anyway, and by staying with him you've kinda signed on for sucking it up. Know you didn't want views on that, but it's not like you can isolate that one action for fiscal purposes. That kind of thinking isn't going to help you.