Does my partner owe me cash for injuring me ?

[Namehasbeenchangedtoprotecttheinnocent]

Partner and I had a fight a year ago. It got physical and my finger got broken. Never been physical before or since. Both of us very ashamed. Basically- I’d been drinking & he was sober. Big argument kicked off. I went to bed as could see where it was heading ( big argument I mean-
not physical fight) I told him to sleep in other room but he followed me in and continued arguing. Tried to take duvet off bed. I was shouting at him and holding onto duvet. He slapped me ( only time ever happened) and there was scuffle. Finger obviously broken and confirmed by ED. So this were gets complicated. Turns out I have benign tumour in finger which why broke so easily.
Had hellish year of operations/ bone grafts / infections which has cost me a fortune and all my sick pay. I’m angry as if he hadn’t assaulted me in first place this wouldn’t be happening ( but probably would have at some point ) but yes not his fault I had tumour which means it broke so easily / isn’t healing. So AIBU to expect him to pay for operations or generally feel responsible
for what happened or do I suck it up?

This not about how dysfunctional it was to have this fight in the first place- that’s a WHOLE other post! Genuinely interested in peoples thoughts

if your not in the Uk I’m not sure many people will be able to advise the legal and cultural appropriateness of asking him for money.
He slapped you so LTB

We were a team from the moment DH moved in with me. Everything went into a joint bank account regardless of earnings. DH has contributed far more in the way of earnings and inheritance, but if a decision had been made for a private operation or I'd need unpaid leave then I'm sure he'd have supported me with that from the start, and any bills/shortfalls would have been from joint funds. So for us, it would be easy to work out.

If you have total confidence in him and need help financially due to operations and sick leave, then you should be able to discuss this with him and work out together.

Eh? He followed her into the bedroom. It sounds as if it was getting heated and she retreated to bed.

I think he should pay. But are you prepared to sue? Personally I said YABU because you are, to still be with him.

I’m not sure you can sue your partner for damages and still stay with them, Op. This is all a little odd.

It did, hence Casualty being called Casualty

I think the fact that you cannot get past the resentment is what's going to be the spear in the side of your relationship.

He either deals the consequences of your mutual actions by helping to pay for the medical care. Or the relationship is over. You cant stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't take any responsibility for his actions, especially when they have had such a terrible impact on you.

You might want to let the NHS know then:

www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-go-to-ae/

This.

If you think your bf owes you money cos he injured you wtf is going on with your relationship?

The idea it can survive such a request is nuts.

Second thoughts, ask him....

... In a neutral safe place with the lock Smith prebooked

If he's sat back watching you get into debt to pay the bills, then he's not much of a partner. If you're not actually struggling and just feel annoyed that you're losing out then I wouldn't expect him to pay.

I think it's reasonable for him to help you out financially if you're struggling for money. Not because he hurt your finger but because he's your partner and you're struggling with your health so can't earn what you used to. I don't think he owes you anything for what happened and how.

For fuck's sake, does it actually matter whether it's A&E, ED, ER or whatever...it's not really relevant is it?

He slapped you. That’s the end. Game over. You can’t stay with someone who slapped you, let alone injured you.

Cant comment on the money side as it’s all so bizarre.

I will say this - my exh used to pick on me if I had had a few drinks (whether he was drunk or not) because I was more vulnerable and he could get under my skin more easily.

Leaving aside the fact you were drunk which was entirely your own doing. The tumor is nothing to do with him. It would've surfaced at some point and you'd have had the same bills. It would be nice if he was in a position to help with the bills & willing to do so, but he has no obligation.

Putting aside everything else - you had an argument that became physical that you don't seem to see as a problem, etc. - the fact that you are asking if your partner owe you cash shows that this is not a normal healthy relationship or "partnership". My friends and I sometimes owe each other cash, as do my siblings and I. My husband and I never owe each other cash, because we are a partnership.

Legally I would imagine the fact you've stayed with him would go against you. Morally yes he should meet the medical costs of an injury he caused.

Jesus. What a life some people lead.

In general, compensation is due if entity (person or company) A either took an action, or by negligence failed to take an action, which led to person B being injured and where it was reasonable that A should have forseen that such an injury (whether to B or to any unlucky person) might be expected as a potential outcome of their action or failure of action, and that they took no steps to warn or mitigate against that. Which is why you get warned "careful, it's hot" when you buy a coffee. If person A hits person B hard enough that B loses their balance, B may be uninjured or may fall at an awkward angle against something sharp and get seriously damaged, and A is liable for that because falling against something dangerous is a readily predictable potential consequence - so was this readily predictable?

If you were to sue your bf, the case would hinge on how much he could have expected his action to have caused you injury if he had thought about it for a moment. Of course he didn't know about the tumor, so the big question would be whether the injury would have still happened to a normally healthy finger that hadn't been weakened by the tumor. Obviously that has to be a guess, we can't know exactly.

In the UK at least (I don't know if this is the same in your country) civil cases like this go on the "balance of probabilities" rather than "beyond reasonable doubt" but on the basis of what you have posted, I would say that the balance of probabilities is that for a normal healthy finger, it would be so much less likely that a significant injury would be caused that he couldn't possibly have known what the consequence would be, and therefore he shouldn't be held liable.

You are as bad as each other!
But instead of complaining that your finger broke too soon, why not just be grateful that it has been discovered when it has and get it sorted?

It could have been horribly far advanced if this hadn't happened.

Indeed . . .

If he's your partner I'd expect you to be sharing the costs regardless of fault.

I don’t know that you are being unreasonable. It depends a bit on the how the fight went down. But legally, losses from injuries caused by an assault are something you would have civil redress for in most jurisdictions.

When you get to the point of having to consider compensation for physical injury your relationship is over.

This. You cannot just have therapy and move on together. End it.

As long as some form of injury is forseeable then the eggshell skull principle applies if the victim happens to be unusually vulnerable, both in civil and criminal law....in England.

Legally - I have no idea.

Morally - Yes, he darn well should. A decent person would think it was the right thing to pay at least some of your bills. But then he doesn't appear to be a decent person, seeing as it was he who assaulted you in the first place.

If he was truly your partner in life, you wouldn’t be facing medical bills and lost wages alone, regardless of how the injury happened. That your boyfriend is watching you struggle with the fallout from this “isolated” incident really doesn’t bode well for the long term viability of the relationship.