Partner viewing webcam girls

[Pinklemons9]

Last night I found out my partner of 1.5 years watches webcam girls. I have never been comfortable with porn but this is just on another level for me. He said he uses them once a week (we see each other 5 nights a week now, was 3 until recently). They are free and he said he doesn’t chat to them. I think I believe this. I know he loves me and he’d do anything for me. He said he won’t do it again but I feel he’s crossed a line. AIBU?

Back on topic;

*He said he uses them once a week ..."

That's quite a little habit. A weekly hobby.

And one he saw no reason to stop when he got into a relationship with you.

He's only stopping (apparently) be side you found out and protested.

He wouldn't be for many women and it sounds like he's not for you.

And the poster who said to "prank" him that you do cam shows yourself and see his reaction has hot the nail on the head.

I guarantee it would be similar if you said you watched a male sex worker/performer stripping and wanking etc etc live via cam with "suggestions" from other spectators at least once a week. Bet it wouldn't be harmless or cool then. It would be "why do you feel the need to do that?" If he even stucknarojmd long enough to have a conversation.

Do this.

The subject is web cam girls, read the title.

Have you ever been on MN before?

Discussions and debates happen within threads on related subjects.

Noone ever tries to dictate that the discussion stays on one solitary topic ie the exact thread title.

But you don't need this explained to you, you're just being ...... Can't think of a polite word to finish that sentence.

@Redqueenheart it would be a deal breaker for me.
I have a reached a point where I no longer tolerate online porn of any kind.
Because to me it objectifies and degrades women, turns sex into a financial transaction, gives completely unrealistic views of sex and as per the feedback of the ''single man'' on this thread it creates addiction and poisons relationships/
I could not care less if anyone thinks I am a ''prude'' or not a good feminist for believing that sex work does not empower women.
Those are my values. Other people are free to have different ones, but I no longer compromise on this. I have seen too much of the negative effect that porn is having on men, sex and relationships when I was dating to realise that this is not a harmless hobby...

This, with big brass bells on ^

I'm with you. I see people my age (early 30s) and younger all fall into the idea that sex work is so empowering for women. You know who sex work truly empowers? Men.

So many men and boys now have no qualms seeing ALL attractive women as potential sex workers. Just go on any of the uni or financial advice forums out there. There's an overwhelming notion that it's ok if women don't get a job/career as 'at least they can make it big doing sex work'. If a woman is attractive, she is 'stupid' if she doesn't get on only fans. If a woman needs money, she can go do sex work as there's nothing wrong with it and it's a perfectly valid career choice.

It's only getting worse as people are interacting less IRL, and many boys and young men's main exposure to women is through the sex industry and online porn that they consume like it's just a regular day on Instagram.

Just because some people are making 'millions' off of sex work doesn't mean that it's not severely detrimental for women as a whole.

If it's your nails and they are Chinese/Vietnamese then there is a good chance they are trafficked.

www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jan/21/what-does-your-10-manicure-really-cost-the-unvarnished-truth-about-nail-bars

Still waffling on to yourself, can't handle being ignored can you? How many replies since I told you , you were no longer worth talking to 😂

Attention seeking much? Bye bye for final time 😄

There’s a live thread about a DS and his friend who were pressuring the friends GF to send them nudes.

They are 15 - already coercing and sexually harassing someone and most likely now sharing indecent images of a minor.

I remember being 15 and this was not a thing. Anyone who thinks the abundance of porn and portrayal of women isn’t doing harm is mistaken.

Yet we all see you come back to thread to check @Spendernone 🤔

Just because I stopped talking to people who make up their own facts does not mean I have to stop reading or replying.

I see your another one who makes up their own facts in their head.

FYI I'm reading in-between jobs, what exactly has every one to see??? Your point is mute and another pointless rant.

FYI I'm reading in-between jobs, what exactly has every one to see??? Your point is mute and another pointless rant.

What are you even talking about?

Literally deranged.

@WTAFSomedays I have only posted to call out what you said and I think you should reconsider your use of ableist language "deranged" to cause offence as its highly offensive to people with MN issues and you should be ashamed.

On a side note what @Spendernone was perfectly easy to understand and the typical MN pile on to get an echo chamber going benefits no one.

May be you are the one who should take a break.

@LemonDrop22 that's really rude. He's trying to give the OP an answer about the interaction not defend her partner

Fully agree, don't worry people like this are not worth talking too, extreme in their own right. 🙄

The irony of you calling other posters attention seeking lol

Oh I'm sure you'll manage another puerile bye bye soon.

It's not rude to make him aware that he could he damaging his future relationship prospects if he continues to watch live cam sex shows regularly and is honest be about it with future girlfriends ... This thread and the op is a case in point.

His post also had the effect of normalisation and minimisation.

Thankfully the op hasn't gone for it though.

I fully agree with @teaandtoastwithmarmite it was rude, and from my perspective it just shows the OP and others how narrow minded some people can be whom are blinded by their bias and refuse to look at the details and not take blanket view all porn = evil.

Both men and women watch porn and live steams and many enjoy it and do it voluntarily, this is the point you are so blinded by you cannot see the wood for the trees. You cannot decade every thing in life evil if others take illegal advantage of it at some point or various ways, when there are perfectly legal avenues for people to enjoy.

Also a statistical value size of of one, i.e. this thread is not the basis to validate your hypothesis.

There are people on this thread who have watched people they believe to have been trafficked. I’m not sure this is the best audience for your lecture on ‘Porn is sometimes ok’.

Your point is mute.

Moot.

There are also many spouting the old hackneyed delusions about sex work and sex workers.

Game changer for me. I'd dump the twat

This thread has got a little side tracked but thank you for all the comments.
I decided to end the relationship. Perhaps it was an overreaction, I don’t know. I’m starting to doubt myself. He was otherwise a great boyfriend and I don’t believe he would intentionally hurt me. However, he crossed the line. At a time when he knows I’m struggling. It’s like a double whammy. Plus we’d spoken about porn before and he lied to me. How could I trust him again. I’d feel like a mug if I continued in the relationship, like I’m not good enough and there’s be nothing to stop him doing it again. I hate that he’s put me in this position. He was always so respectful and now he seems like a sleeze, it’s like I never really knew him. Anyway… brave face time.. onwards and upwards.

Unfortunately threads often descend into bun fights.

Op I'm sorry you've been put in this position.

Personally I could've be ok with it either.

I also think if you invest further the same or worse could crop up - since you know he's been a regular cam sex user, and you know he's been dishonest as well. If you're not happy with this type of behaviour at this point, it would be very stressful and a big problem for you if you were to encounter it again eh married or worse, with a child.

Best wishes to you, OP. Please don’t doubt yourself. You’ve taken an important step to stand up for yourself and state your worth. That takes courage. You never have to accept being lied to.

There is a world of porn, literally millions of videos to watch free out there (there are a lot of ethical issues but nonetheless if you want to watch porn or have a masturbatory aid, you could watch them from now to kingdom come, no pun intended).

The fact that he's moved into something live & a level up, as it were, says something about him (and he continued doing it in a new relationship). Quite honestly if someone's indulging in that shit weekly when they're in a new, loved up relationship, you have to wonder what they'll be at when youre knee deep in nappies, with birth injuries, trying to break feef etc.