To think that it’s an ongoing challenge to look groomed and smart as an overweight woman?

[NellesVilla]

Evening all,

Just musing the following:

I’m overweight, extremely overweight and don’t wear it well (IMO). I’m technically almost obese but others say I don’t look quite this bad (thanks?!). I find it so hard to look groomed and smart. I’m an extremely fastidious, clean person and dress in neutrals with simple, classic make up and nicely-styled hair but it is such an effort to keep up. My hair messes itself up within minutes (and needs to be brushed all the time- v fine, long and flyaway); I get hot sweaty and red-faced v easily and I don’t ever look nice or nicely put together.

Are you overweight or do you know anyone overweight who looks classy and stylish, and if so, how is it done? My hair looks like it’s been dragged through a bush backwards (think Hermione in Harry Potter).

This is not to offend anyone who is also overweight (we know we are), and I am working on my weight (but anyone with an ED will know it’s a long process for some). Is it possible to look good overweight- I don’t think so, personally, but any ideas on how to look/feel a bit better while I’m on my health journey would be helpful, thanks.

I’m wondering what your stats are. As my bmi is obese and I have nice hard and never get red and sweaty 😂

5’7” and weighing 89kg 14st). I wear a size 16 and am definitely fat because I eat too much, but I don’t think I ever look messy 🤔

That should say “nice hair” 😂

I‘ve been very heavy and also slimmer and my hair is always, always a battle. It’s just wild and there is lots of it.

But it is absolutely possible to look smart while overweight. I favour dresses, you can always look put together in a dress. Lightweight cotton for summer with sandals and a heavier fabric for winter, with tights and/or boots.

Watching with interest. I am obese (especially now after just having my second child) and I look awful, all of the time. I feel there's no way back now.

Thanks @LuckyLamp and @ChaToilLeam . I agree that a nice dress can look better but hate feeling shit with a large size and massive belly etc (compared to slim women).

@awwbiscuits at least your weight is partly due to pregnancies. I have no children and still managed to let myself go. At a 14 I think I gave up and just never stopped eating. And have probably fucked up my metabolism as well (have had 3 x times types of ED). 💐

I'm in exactly the same position as @awwbiscuits.

When I was thin I looked great with zero effort. I look like utter shit now. I suppose age has something to do with it, but a lot of it is probably just that I'm a fat fuck.

I've been anything from underweight to overweight/borderline obese in the last few years. I look a mess no matter what my BMI!

My hair is very fine and always looks messy within minutes, tying it up into a French plait or French roll with a clip always looks smarter on me than having it loose.

It is definitely harder to look smart and put-together. I'm very short and very fat, I hate it, but I do my damnedest to try and look good. I dont generally wear patterns, I stick to block colours that I know suit me. I always wear heels, and I always wear lipstick and eyeliner.

I am lucky because I have decent hair, but I keep it well-cut, and colour my grey (im not confident enough to be fat AND grey!). Wear earrings every day, again it makes you look that bit more put-together. Its not a high-fashion look, I'm never going to look fashionable, but I look professional and smart.

My other tip is always leave yourself enough time to get to meetings, so you aren't sweaty and puffing!

What about having a hair cut? My hair type is exactly like yours. It's limp when it's long. I find a nice shoulder length cut with some face framing bits is the best style for me. I spray some root lift spray in it, dry it with a big round brush to get the volume and then use a texturising dry shampoo to stop it from looking oily through the day.
Are you wearing colours that suit you?

Yes I think the problem is that you can't just chuck on jeans and a fitted t-shirt and look good

when l was working l had a BMI of 28/9.

l got endless compliments on how good l looked. I’m an hourglass shape with thick hair. It never felt a battle. It’s about finding what’s right for you.

Yeah, it’s much harder.

I have been very obese and even at my ‘slimmest’ I had an overweight BMI due to a medical condition.

The main issues for me were getting red and sweaty in hot rooms or situations with lots of walking- tomato face is hardly chic. My hair up also looks matronly rather than effortless.

Also overweight can look fab and stylish and beautiful but tends to involve a bit more dressing up. There have been times in my life where I have been in the pub in a bodycon dress and a pair of heels and look objectively lovely as it’s nipping me in in the right places- but I still don’t look as fab at the size 8 in great jeans and a tucked in shirt.

I agree.

I think it depends on body shape to an extent. I think overweight pear-shaped women have an easier time looking more put together, or at least that's my perspective as a fat, apple-shaped woman. I constantly look matronly and frumpy and most clothes only emphasise my spherical nature. Clothes don't hang well on apple-shaped bodies (or mine, at least) and as a result I look a mess even when I try hard. It'd be a lot easier if I had small boobs, small waist and a giant arse because at least clothes would hang right.

I also have issues with being sweaty and red-faced with flyaway hair that goes curly around the hairline but is flat and limp elsewhere. Sadly this was also the case when I was borderline underweight so can't be blamed on fatness. Short hair looks better on me as it's much more manageable and looks like a style rather than just hanging off my head like a spaniel's ears, but my long hair is a bit of a security blanket to try and take the focus off my egg-on-legs body.

I often see plus size women looking good in tailored suits, this kind of thing

I am classed as obese and have been dieting/using gym and a trainer for 12 weeks as I was told I was pre-diabetic. I'm 5'8" and honestly whilst I'm doing this for health reasons I've never felt how you describe despite comments by others (I work with one woman who is very critical of anyone above a size 12). I need to be half my starting weight to be a size 12 so the reality is I don't think I'll get to that. What I want to be is healthy when they do my blood test next year.

My weight is very evenly distributed in general so I'm just "a big girl" but I feel good whether I'm in trackies at home with a t-shirt or formal wear at work. I think there is an element of state of mind. Always buy clothes that fit you well and you feel good in and colours you love. If I put something on and don't think "buy me" I don't as I need to feel good when I take that first look in the mirror. I was very ill a few years ago and almost died so I think I just feel lucky to have a body that works. My value isn't determined by the size of my bum!

I've got massive boobs (J cup) and know some stuff will just make me feel uncomfortable. I'm not talking posh clothes, just finding things in markies and supermarkets that suit your shape and make you feel good - I think you then project a sense of being polished. Enjoy cosmetics. I've recently discovered whipped soap and it just smells lovely. I take pleasure in things like this. I've got fine hair but make sure I have a good cut and colour, love getting my nails done (but even if not, make sure they're neat and tidy). Wear make up that makes me feel good - love a good bit of blusher and eyeliner and just head out each day knowing I'm not gorgeous but I'm not a monster. Life is for living and if you feel good others see that. Don't live in the shadows!

I am significantly overweight and have similar hair

I find it difficult to look composed and professional. I try to wear fairly somber colours (I naturally tend to wear quite exuberant colours). To make myself look more professional I have taken to wearing my hair in a bun and have also developed a hairspray habit.

I think that wearing fitted/tailored clothing (not just something baggy), good shoes, nice nails, good haircut is the dream - I have terrible nails and hair cut.

I have also started doing weights and Pilates in amongst other things to improve my posture.

After reading this thread, l think a lot of it is in your heads!

l trained in fashion and was a stylist for a while. I reckon l could sort some of the people out on here! It’s having the confidence to wear what suits you.

l never wear high heels, and dress in Cos or Arket. These garments are quite forgiving, especially if you’re tall.

I have been a range I’d sizes - agree that it is more difficult to look pulled together when you are very overweight, but I don’t think a bmi of eg 25-30 is particularly remarkable these days and it’s easy enough to get smart & well fitting clothes at this sort of size

Makeup/hair/nails, good accessories and clothes that fit well (not too baggy or too tight) go a long way

I do think that a more groomed/polished look is needed to look good if you are bigger & tailored clothes go a long way too

It’s an ongoing challenge to look smart and groomed regardless of weight. I know some people make it look easy but it takes time and effort to keep up with haircuts, have a skincare routine, look after nails, have well ironed, neat and attractive clothes etc.

I have friends and co workers who are skinny and look sloppy, or are in their 60s and look put together, and can look put together if they are overweight.
I actually don’t think it takes any more effort to look put together if someone is bigger.

You're not being unreasonable.

When various tallish slim women win the best dressed woman of the year I think, no, I'm better because I manage to look mostly stylish at ten and a half stone and five foot one. (trying to lose a bit).

If you can throw on a bin liner and look good then where's the skill.

It is very hard

I am short, obese and have frizzy hair

I have found certain things look much better than others but most things just look rubbish due to being overweight. I did a big wardrobe revamp in spring but recently have begun to think it hasn't made that much difference, and possibly some things make me look fatter eg loose fitting sweaters.

I think being short is a major part of the problem.

Are you a size 14 OP?

I completely get where you're coming from. I've lost 2.5 stone because I have come to the same conclusion and I was so tired of feeling so shit about myself. I've still got a way to go and I am feeling better but still not great. It's such a battle 😞 I wish I could be one of those women who looked effortlessly good but sadly for me I think it will always be a big effort!