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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you be bothered flying economy whilst partner flies business?

324 replies

Wigollia · 09/10/2022 17:05

For context:

You both discuss going to European city, half of accommodation each and paying for own flights.

Boyfriend messages to say they’ve booked their flights, you message to say ok I’ll book mine now, did you reserve your seat?? Boyfriend says “oh I’m flying business we can just meet up on the other side”

Thoughts?

OP posts:
MarieIVanArkleStinks · 09/10/2022 18:47

I'm friends with a couple who do this. They have no DC and independent professional careers. She insists it's entirely her choice: he's tall with a bad back and willing to shell out the extra money for business class. She'd prefer to spend hers on shoes, handbags, and more souvenirs to bring home. Horses for courses; seems to work for them.

But if my partner turned to me and suggested I met him at the other side, then 'see you on the other' side might be precisely the response he got!

YANBU.

bewarethetides · 09/10/2022 18:48

Also sounds like the kind of man who would ditch his wife with their children in economy class while he hid in business/first class for a relaxing flight letting her wrangle the children single-handedly.

butterfliedtwo · 09/10/2022 18:48

AhNowTed · 09/10/2022 17:22

I wouldn't go.

I'm too old to be treated badly and wring my hands over it.

It's a total insult and dealbreaker.

All of this. No way I'd be going.

SandyY2K · 09/10/2022 18:48

A friend's husband used to do this on the long flight to Australia to see family, leaving her with the children. Or sometimes if they were together he'd take sleeping pills leaving her with the children.

What a horrible selfish man.

Glad she's rid of him.

ChipsforMe · 09/10/2022 18:48

For reference. Upgrades with BA

PAID
From the point of booking there is an upgrade option in manage my booking. This is usually not cheaper than having booked the higher seat initially.
Sometimes these change to a POUG- they actively offer you a paid upgrade (star shows in manage my booking). This is usually time limited and usually much cheaper.
On some tickets you can upgrade with avois. There has to be avoid availability.
If you have a GUF voucher then you can upgrade by 1 class even if no rewards availability (subject to certain booking classes being available)
There is sometimes a paid upgrade price at the desk on display at checkin. If not you can ask. This is sometimes reasonable and sometimes not

FREE
This can come anytime from about 48 hours before checkin up to at the gate (or actually even on board). You can be upgraded and then downgraded again before you ever get to the gate (got to love BA)

It is meant to be based on status but I as a very shiny gold used to get less upgrades than my silver DH. In reality it is route dependent and cabin dependent
Premium Economy (WT+) is seen as the sweet spot with a relatively good chance of an upgrade to CW particularly on the short hop East Coast to NYC or Boston. I find AA better as a BA gold than BA.

Everyone has a CIV score- this apparently shows how valuable a customer you are to them and is meant to drive upgrades.

You can refuse an upgrade.

I am sure that there are other options as well.

MatildaJayne · 09/10/2022 18:49

Gosh! When my ExH has a business trip to the US, I came over a week later to join him for a holiday. He asked his work to book him economy on the way back so we could sit together. That’s how you should doing it, especially in this ‘honeymoon’ period. (He’s an ex for an entirely different reason.)

resipsa · 09/10/2022 18:51

See, it wouldn't bother me. DH has had 3 DVTs so flies up front on medical advice. I'd prefer to fly at the back and spend the difference on a better hotel!

whynotwhatknot · 09/10/2022 18:52

he didnt even discuss it with you-i wouldnt begrudge it if someone said i want to use my points can you afford it or something but just to book it and say meet you there is off

Piglet89 · 09/10/2022 18:54

Bin. Immediately.

Splutteramo · 09/10/2022 18:57

Jesus, bye bye fella! No, fecking, way would I be with him.
I would have worked out what I could get off ££ for biz class for us BOTH for the points spoke to my girlfriend to see if she wanted to pay a bit extra to fly biz class WITH me.
and if she’d said no, or can’t afford it or whatever I would go economy with her.
in fact the one time I was with my DW ( who travels for work) and she was offered a free biz class upgrade she gave it to me as I never get to travel biz class and she stayed in economy with our baby while I got an amazing nights sleep!

he’s not a keeper.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 09/10/2022 18:57

I have traveled economy while my sister with cancer was in business; that was my choice to make the flight easier on her. I shared the cost of her upgrade.

In this case, a real gentleman would have booked OP's ticket in business, if a choice had to be made, and taken her seat in economy. Or sat with her.

Bin him.

Ragwort · 09/10/2022 18:58

He's clearly not a 'partner' just a newish boyfriend... sounds utterly and totally selfish. When I met my (now) DH and we were 'dating' he used to travel a lot for business and would take me along for a holiday (that was quite commonplace in those days), but we would always travel together and one year there was a deal where you could pay £X which went to charity and you got upgraded to business class ... he paid for both of us to do that.

ReneBumsWombats · 09/10/2022 18:59

Don't go.

Splutteramo · 09/10/2022 19:01

The other weird thing is ( if you’re in the U.K.) it’s a really short flight to most European cities! Why bother with biz class for 2/3 hours flight time??

SudocremOnEverything · 09/10/2022 19:02

I wouldn’t go. I agree his does not sound like a keeper.

TheMeanGirlsEnding · 09/10/2022 19:05

You can refuse an upgrade.

Sigh, no you cannot - at least not always (according to other experiences on this thread). If you have been upgraded due to an over booked flight then the only seat is the one offered in the upgrade.

Toadcatcher · 09/10/2022 19:05

Ex P did this too. He also stayed in 5 star hotels and the kids and I had a holiday apartment nearby. Not that we particularly wanted to spend a lot of time with him, so it was a blessing in disguise, but it started with me and baby DS flying economy and he flew business before we had DC 2 and then it was off to the apartment for us. Or we shared one room and he had his own room. Just saying … a taste of things to come …

JinglingHellsBells · 09/10/2022 19:05

Run.

Very fast.

SiobhanSharpe · 09/10/2022 19:09

My thoughts? Wanker.

Gwenhwyfar · 09/10/2022 19:15

When I saw the title I thought it would be about your boss. I know that some workplaces do that, but others let the lower ranking staff go in business too if the boss is going in business.
Your boyfriend doing it is pretty shocking.
Nothing wrong with paying separate, but the fact that he's just going to be leaving you near the plane to go to a different place is bad. Is there a business lounge as well? Will he be in there reading his free newspaper while you're outside?

Leonard1 · 09/10/2022 19:17

He should pay the difference to upgrade you to Business class. What is he going to do at the airport? Go into one of the VIP lounges and leave you outside?
the is really helpful. I think he is something else. Either you both go economy or both business.
Is he trying to show off? Frankly unless it’s long haul and with a decent airline like Etihad or Emirates there is nothing fab anyhow.

Mumsgirls · 09/10/2022 19:18

Sorry cannot stop laughing at this. How absurd. Will you eat in separate restaurants too? Deserves to be dumped from a great height.
This will be a great story to tell though.

Mummyofmaniacs · 09/10/2022 19:18

notice all these stories are now exes. save the miserable history and offload him now.

Ohhhhladz · 09/10/2022 19:23

Why did your boyfriend assume you would not also be booking a business seat?

I'd say it's fine if the two of you had planned to travel separately and meet in the target city and just ended up on the same flight by chance, but it sounds like coordinated to take the same flight? If so, he's rude.

Tangential, but: I once went on a business trip with a new boss. I'd been working for the company for a week and the office manager had booked our tickets on the same flight. Boss upgraded himself to first class with his frequent flyer miles at check-in and left me in coach. I immediately suspected he was a wanker, and I was right. (Also later discovered that he had told the OM to book us both on that specific airline, where he had a million FFMs from prior work trips; I could have requested my preferred carrier/alliance if I'd known.)

Snosages · 09/10/2022 19:23

Same here. On our honeymoon. Now an ex too.