Page 25 | Why do women hate an OW?

Oatmealbiscuits · 2022-10-08T16:47:19+00:00

When a woman is seeing a married man, why do people say they wouldn't want her as a friend, in their lives anymore etc? Why are they judged solely on one thing when there may be so many other positives to their character. I'm curious really, for the record I'm not an other woman, but my friend is. It's her business and I shall be there when the shit inevitably hits the fan. If some posters on here had their way, she wouldn't have friends and would be isolated and lonely. I just don't think anyone deserves that when in reality it's the man who has taken vows.

Amybelle88 · 10/10/2022 10:44

WhatsAVideo · 10/10/2022 10:41

Approx 200,000 attempted suicides land in A&E per year and a PP thinks the NHS sections all of them. Hilarious.

Obviously not all - I am not dense so don't assume me to be.

I was stating the criteria that is set out for sectioning.

I didn't say it could treat everybody.

Gotskeaswr · 10/10/2022 10:44

‘Approx 200,000 attempted suicides land in A&E per year and a PP thinks the NHS sections all of them. Hilarious.’

Yup! sectioning is an absolute last resort - it takes away someone’s right to make decisions for themselves- so thank goodness it is used sparingly and not for everything.

Amybelle88 · 10/10/2022 10:45

Gotskeaswr · 10/10/2022 10:05

‘You've openly said you had a fling with someone who had a partner, and you did so solely because you fancied the pants off them.’

I’m a woman. She was a woman, and not married but had a GF.
Maybe you live in a very straight world, I don’t.

Not straight.

Just a world where I don't shit on other humans intentionally.

Hitatiks · 10/10/2022 10:47

You, love, are a bint and need to scurry away back to the hole you surfaced from

You sound completely deranged.

Amybelle88 · 10/10/2022 10:50

Hitatiks · 10/10/2022 10:47

You, love, are a bint and need to scurry away back to the hole you surfaced from

You sound completely deranged.

😂😂😂😂

Hardly, but I've heard worse 🤷🏻‍♀️

OoooohMatron · 10/10/2022 10:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Well said. It'll probably get deleted but you're spot on.

Gotskeaswr · 10/10/2022 10:59

I understand why the wife might hate the OW ( though it’s a waste of energy) or why her close friends might also blame OW but it’s when randoms jump on to lay into women they don’t know and judge, that I find really bizarre.
I know someone who’s ( awful) relationship broke down, partly because she fell for someone else but didn’t quite have an affair, and lots of people in our shared hobby group took sides and clearly RELISHED in the ensuing drama.
suddenly this woman was the whore of Babylon to lots of people… all I could think is, why do they give a shit? Two people, who had a not great relationship are now splitting, and have kids, so they’ve got a lot to sort out. Leave them to it.
not anyone else’s business.

Amybelle88 · 10/10/2022 11:00

Gotskeaswr · 10/10/2022 10:59

I understand why the wife might hate the OW ( though it’s a waste of energy) or why her close friends might also blame OW but it’s when randoms jump on to lay into women they don’t know and judge, that I find really bizarre.
I know someone who’s ( awful) relationship broke down, partly because she fell for someone else but didn’t quite have an affair, and lots of people in our shared hobby group took sides and clearly RELISHED in the ensuing drama.
suddenly this woman was the whore of Babylon to lots of people… all I could think is, why do they give a shit? Two people, who had a not great relationship are now splitting, and have kids, so they’ve got a lot to sort out. Leave them to it.
not anyone else’s business.

Are you still here? 🥱

Amybelle88 · 10/10/2022 11:02

@OoooohMatron thank you ❤️

Gotskeaswr · 10/10/2022 11:05

She’s actually a lovely person. Someone who was very unhappy in a relationship, and instead of ending it perhaps when she should have ( because it’s hard when you have a house and kids and tied everything) the prompt to get her to realise it was over, was having feelings with someone else.
so she was, human, basically. although many on here seem to thing both she and the OW should never be trusted again…

Dalekjastninerels · 10/10/2022 11:11

Because the OW has millions of men to fuck but she chose a married man with a wife and kids.

Both the husband and the other woman are at fault in this situation.

I have been (am) attracted to a married man.

Do I have sex with him? No because it is wrong and I have a conscience.

greyandcontent · 10/10/2022 11:16

Dalekjastninerels · 10/10/2022 11:11

Because the OW has millions of men to fuck but she chose a married man with a wife and kids.

Both the husband and the other woman are at fault in this situation.

I have been (am) attracted to a married man.

Do I have sex with him? No because it is wrong and I have a conscience.

Not just about sex though is it?

OoooohMatron · 10/10/2022 11:19

greyandcontent · 10/10/2022 11:16

Not just about sex though is it?

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Really? I'd have thought it was always about sex.

Amybelle88 · 10/10/2022 11:22

@OoooohMatron emotional affairs can be just as hurtful I reckon?

As humans I believe we all look and find other people attractive - it's what steps you take to show that attraction that really count.

If you're engaging with someone on an emotional level that you wouldn't want your spouse to know about, that's bad in my opinion but sex is next level definitely.

Dalekjastninerels · 10/10/2022 11:22

OoooohMatron · 10/10/2022 11:19

Really? I'd have thought it was always about sex.

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It is obviously about sex

OoooohMatron · 10/10/2022 11:26

Amybelle88 · 10/10/2022 11:22

@OoooohMatron emotional affairs can be just as hurtful I reckon?

As humans I believe we all look and find other people attractive - it's what steps you take to show that attraction that really count.

If you're engaging with someone on an emotional level that you wouldn't want your spouse to know about, that's bad in my opinion but sex is next level definitely.

True. Emotional affairs probably do as much if not more damage but I do think an emotional affair would likely end in a physical one.

Thereisnolight · 10/10/2022 11:27

@Amybelle88
Well said.

Amybelle88 · 10/10/2022 11:31

@OoooohMatron I was seeing someone when I was younger - about 19ish.

I had no idea he had a girlfriend at first but just got a gut feeling one day and went digging - I was correct. I finished it with him straight away, but he did tell me that if I wanted to be with him, he would finish with his girlfriend. If not, he was staying put. Absolute charmer.

He went on to marry the girl and have children.

We didn't have sex and I always wondered why he was reluctant - I'm assuming now that it was because having sex is where he felt the action of cheating is, whereas I think he cheated from the minute he started pursuing me.

What dya reckon?

Gotskeaswr · 10/10/2022 11:32

‘Because the OW has millions of men to fuck but she chose a married man with a wife and kids.’

its not just about sex for most people, is it. And in that situation - the married man with kids is IMHO far worse than the OW…

KimberleyClark · 10/10/2022 11:35

So often in films/tv the caught out cheater (usually male) says “it was just sex” - does anyone ever say that in real life I wonder?

Gotskeaswr · 10/10/2022 11:45

‘So often in films/tv the caught out cheater (usually male) says “it was just sex” - does anyone ever say that in real life I wonder?’

not as many movies have the woman saying that, but not sure tv/movies are something to be relied on…

OoooohMatron · 10/10/2022 11:47

Amybelle88 · 10/10/2022 11:31

@OoooohMatron I was seeing someone when I was younger - about 19ish.

I had no idea he had a girlfriend at first but just got a gut feeling one day and went digging - I was correct. I finished it with him straight away, but he did tell me that if I wanted to be with him, he would finish with his girlfriend. If not, he was staying put. Absolute charmer.

He went on to marry the girl and have children.

We didn't have sex and I always wondered why he was reluctant - I'm assuming now that it was because having sex is where he felt the action of cheating is, whereas I think he cheated from the minute he started pursuing me.

What dya reckon?

Yep, ultimately cheaters want it to end in sex, that's the goal. I also very much doubt he's stayed faithful to his wife.

ReneBumsWombats · 10/10/2022 11:53

Gotskeaswr · 10/10/2022 11:45

‘So often in films/tv the caught out cheater (usually male) says “it was just sex” - does anyone ever say that in real life I wonder?’

not as many movies have the woman saying that, but not sure tv/movies are something to be relied on…

To some people, that's worse.

Gotskeaswr · 10/10/2022 11:57

‘I was seeing someone when I was younger - about 19ish.

I had no idea he had a girlfriend’

Mmm, so you have been the OW then. Not so straight forward sometimes is it? I have a feeling there are OW who have no idea that they are the OW…

Hitatiks · 10/10/2022 12:00

Amybelle88 · 10/10/2022 10:50

😂😂😂😂

Hardly, but I've heard worse 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Seriously, the way you are talking in tone and language is not normal in civil discourse. It’s actually a bit disturbing that you don’t see it.

The intensity and aggression of language, and personal abuse, being thrown from the ‘hating OW’ side to the other is really noticeable.

Its doing nothing to persuade me of your arguments, ( or quality of character tbh, despite the clear self-identified moral positioning). But then name calling and personal abuse never do achieve that, so they?