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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that DH could do this as one off

149 replies

Runrunlikethewind · 07/10/2022 22:43

I’ve got to be in work next Thursday at 5am as a one off due to us hosting an early morning film shoot (I work in PR). It’s not a regular thing, it’s a one off. DH is kicking off about having to sort the kids out that morning and take them to school before he goes to work. Aibu to think he should just get on with it as a one off? I have to sort the kids out and take them to school before work every morning.

OP posts:
Original poster
Runrunlikethewind · 07/10/2022 22:44

Title should say “as a one off”. Apologies about that but I don’t know how to edit it now

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 07/10/2022 22:45

Of course yanbu. He should be doing it regularly

CrapBucket · 07/10/2022 22:46

Are they his kids? Is he always a selfish fucker?

Original poster
Runrunlikethewind · 07/10/2022 22:46

CrapBucket · 07/10/2022 22:46

Are they his kids? Is he always a selfish fucker?

No they are not his kids but it’s just a one off

OP posts:
User87543 · 07/10/2022 22:47

I can see his point if him taking them to school would have the potential to result in him being late for work

Beautifulsunflowers · 07/10/2022 22:47

yanbu at all!! But he is! Kicking off? He’ll get kicked out if he carry’s on behaving like that.

Original poster
Runrunlikethewind · 07/10/2022 22:48

User87543 · 07/10/2022 22:47

I can see his point if him taking them to school would have the potential to result in him being late for work

He could speak to his boss, it’s just a one off. I know his boss is quite understanding too.

OP posts:
pictish · 07/10/2022 22:49

No he shouldn’t be kicking off, selfish git. You’re a partnership and given it’s an isolated ask related to a work commitment, he should be willing to step up.

Original poster
Runrunlikethewind · 07/10/2022 22:49

Beautifulsunflowers · 07/10/2022 22:47

yanbu at all!! But he is! Kicking off? He’ll get kicked out if he carry’s on behaving like that.

Yep he’s kicked off. Says he doesn’t want to have to sort my kids out. It’s not like I’m asking him to do it every morning

OP posts:
JustLyra · 07/10/2022 22:49

Runrunlikethewind · 07/10/2022 22:46

No they are not his kids but it’s just a one off

Show quote history

You’re going to get a shed load of people saying “not his kids = not his problem”.

As a one off though, assuming it’s not going to make him late and you asked (in a rhetorical way), he should imo.

Dotcheck · 07/10/2022 22:51

Does he live with you? How long have you been together? Would he have to stay at yours specially?

Original poster
Runrunlikethewind · 07/10/2022 22:51

Dotcheck · 07/10/2022 22:51

Does he live with you? How long have you been together? Would he have to stay at yours specially?

He lives with me. Been together 5 years

OP posts:
youngestisapsycho · 07/10/2022 22:52

So you are married and obvs all live together and his comment is he doesn’t want to sort your kids out! You picked a winner there!

youngestisapsycho · 07/10/2022 22:52

Does he do anything with your children?

BigFatLiar · 07/10/2022 22:54

He's allowed to grumble I grumble getting up when I don't want to or going somewhere when I'd rather stay in. I still do it (get up/go) but I'm allowed to grumble.

If his work are unhappy with him being late perhaps he can take the day of and go back to bed/down the pub.

CrapBucket · 07/10/2022 22:55

IMO that's even worse, if he was their dad and moaning about it, that makes him lazy. Him being their stepdad and moaning about it, makes him cruel and lazy. Imagine living with children that you didn't actually care for. I feel really sorry for them. And for you OP.

BigFatLiar · 07/10/2022 22:56

youngestisapsycho · 07/10/2022 22:52

Does he do anything with your children?

Standard response here is step children are not your responsibility.

Original poster
Runrunlikethewind · 07/10/2022 22:59

I can’t say I’m best pleased about needing to be in work at 5am but I’m just getting on with it, why can’t he just do the same

OP posts:
OnTheBrinkOfChange · 07/10/2022 23:00

Just wondering, did he move in with you and the children?

Hawkins001 · 07/10/2022 23:01

Runrunlikethewind · 07/10/2022 22:43

I’ve got to be in work next Thursday at 5am as a one off due to us hosting an early morning film shoot (I work in PR). It’s not a regular thing, it’s a one off. DH is kicking off about having to sort the kids out that morning and take them to school before he goes to work. Aibu to think he should just get on with it as a one off? I have to sort the kids out and take them to school before work every morning.

He needs to get a grip and step up and help, if he doesent want to help them, then he should of thought of that before doing the dance with no pants.

oviraptor21 · 07/10/2022 23:02

If the children live with both of you then he's their step dad and needs to learn to step up and parent properly every once in a while.

rivermanblows · 07/10/2022 23:02

Hawkins001 · 07/10/2022 23:01

He needs to get a grip and step up and help, if he doesent want to help them, then he should of thought of that before doing the dance with no pants.

Show quote history

they’re not his kids. and ‘the dance with no pants’? are you 11?

whitemats · 07/10/2022 23:04

My dh (children's step dad) regularly offers to do the school run to give me a break (I'm pregnant) or if I have a work flash and because it's fun for him, a nice novelty, and the kids prefer it because they can usually sweet talk him into a treat on the way home. Plus we're a family and helping each other is what we do.

I bet you do a damn sight more for your DP and put in much more effort for things he needs doing, why won't he reciprocate? He sounds selfish and mean, do you want a man who resents helping your kids around?

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 07/10/2022 23:06

Don't understand people who live together but don't want to help with each others kids, especially as a one off. It's not like he's having them all day 😒

Sux2buthen · 07/10/2022 23:06

@rivermanblows irrelevant. He's living as their parent he should act it.