Page 5 | To think that DH could do this as one off

Runrunlikethewind · 2022-10-07T21:43:43+00:00

I’ve got to be in work next Thursday at 5am as a one off due to us hosting an early morning film shoot (I work in PR). It’s not a regular thing, it’s a one off. DH is kicking off about having to sort the kids out that morning and take them to school before he goes to work. Aibu to think he should just get on with it as a one off? I have to sort the kids out and take them to school before work every morning.

strawberry2017 · 08/10/2022 09:02

Showing you his true colours now and just how much he respects you and your children.
Don't have any with him, he's a selfish arsehole.

Ithinkiwanttobealone · 08/10/2022 09:02

pinkpanel · 07/10/2022 23:15

1000's posts like this on the step parents thread where the step mum has moaned about being asked to do things for SC. Almost every response is to tell them to do absolutely nothing, not their responsibility etc and claiming that the dads are only with them for free childcare etc

Fwiw I personally think your DP is being a dickhead bit just frustrated at the double standards in the threads depending on whether it's a step mum or stepdad

I totally agree with you in theory but I think the problem is most women posting seem to really struggle with saying no, sort it yourselves and have fallen into the default childcare without being asked.

I do think OP's husband should be more supportive to her in this case and enable her getting to work early.

Original poster

Runrunlikethewind · 08/10/2022 09:02

He’s also just moaned that he thinks I’ll wake him up when I get up and get ready to be in work for 5am

OP posts:

Original poster

Runrunlikethewind · 08/10/2022 09:03

Going to have to get up at about half 3 in the morning, maybe quarter to 4

OP posts:

Hankunamatata · 08/10/2022 09:03

Your a team. Sorting out his step kids once in a blue moon is something he should happily do

Ithinkiwanttobealone · 08/10/2022 09:06

Runrunlikethewind · 08/10/2022 09:03

Going to have to get up at about half 3 in the morning, maybe quarter to 4

Oh bloody hell. A total arse, sorry!

Out of interest did you ask him to mind the kids or did you state you had to go in early and assume he would step up? I ask because this is what led to problems with my partner and I. He actually used to say about his youngest "ah she's so good, no bother" instead of "you're so good with her, thank you for helping".

It made me not want to help out anymore as I didn't feel appreciated.

pictish · 08/10/2022 09:06

Runrunlikethewind · 08/10/2022 09:02

He’s also just moaned that he thinks I’ll wake him up when I get up and get ready to be in work for 5am

Well fgs…where in that scenario are his wishes being prioritised? He is the most important person is he not? Check with him before you agree to anything that might mildly inconvenience him. He contributes more than enough with his presence in your home. How ungracious of you.

Original poster

Runrunlikethewind · 08/10/2022 09:08

pictish · 08/10/2022 09:06

Well fgs…where in that scenario are his wishes being prioritised? He is the most important person is he not? Check with him before you agree to anything that might mildly inconvenience him. He contributes more than enough with his presence in your home. How ungracious of you.

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I can’t tell if this is serious or sarcastic. But I did tell him yesterday that I would do my best not to wake him

OP posts:

ExplodingCarrots · 08/10/2022 09:09

This is not a partnership at all . Does he moan and whinge about everything? He's making a big song and dance over something that's happening for one day .

Original poster

Runrunlikethewind · 08/10/2022 09:09

Ithinkiwanttobealone · 08/10/2022 09:06

Oh bloody hell. A total arse, sorry!

Out of interest did you ask him to mind the kids or did you state you had to go in early and assume he would step up? I ask because this is what led to problems with my partner and I. He actually used to say about his youngest "ah she's so good, no bother" instead of "you're so good with her, thank you for helping".

It made me not want to help out anymore as I didn't feel appreciated.

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It’s all country road driving to get to the site too. It’s going to be pitch black dark out as well!
I did ask him if he would mind sorting the kids, I didn’t demand it as I know that would make it worse

OP posts:

Youdoyoutoday · 08/10/2022 09:10

I get that step parents who don't live with the kids full time probably shouldn't get too over involved but when someone moves in to the family home where the kids are more then they can't expect to do absolutely nothing parental!!

What about washing dishes, laundry etc? Not my kids so I'm not washing those 3 plates and forks? Not my kids so I'm not washing their clothes? Not my kids so I'm never doing the school run? What utter prick behaviour!

Sorry OP but I'd really be questioning what this guy brings to your life if he is so unwilling to help you!

JuneOsborne · 08/10/2022 09:12

This isn't what a partnership looks like at all.

Do you like being with him?

TheHoover · 08/10/2022 09:12

OP, what is this really all
about?
Is it ‘my job is more important than yours’?
Is it ‘even though we both work I expect you to also do the childcare (which is also my job is more important than yours)’?
Or is it ‘They are your kids, not mine’?

phishy · 08/10/2022 09:13

Runrunlikethewind · 08/10/2022 09:08

I can’t tell if this is serious or sarcastic. But I did tell him yesterday that I would do my best not to wake him

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It was definitely sarcastic!

Does he contribute correctly to the house, in terms of money/housework?

Goldbar · 08/10/2022 09:15

Runrunlikethewind · 08/10/2022 06:44

I’m already arranging this

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This is what I would do. Or a babysitter. So that he's massively put out in the morning having someone else bustle around getting the kids ready.

pictish · 08/10/2022 09:15

Runrunlikethewind · 08/10/2022 09:08

I can’t tell if this is serious or sarcastic. But I did tell him yesterday that I would do my best not to wake him

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Sarky my friend. I’m on your side.

HandbagAtDawn · 08/10/2022 09:15

Runrunlikethewind · 08/10/2022 09:02

He’s also just moaned that he thinks I’ll wake him up when I get up and get ready to be in work for 5am

Christ what a whiny bellend. This surely can't be coming out of the blue. Unless he's had an overnight personality transplant I'm assuming he's always been a bit of a twat? How on earth did you end up marrying him?

Ringbling85 · 08/10/2022 09:16

Yabu we have had stuff going on this week for dh which means he has had to start earlier and be on site (he normally works from home and does drop off) so I arranged with work to start later in order to accommodate this and do the school drop off. It’s not a big deal! Why are people so unhelpful and where do people find these selfish arseholes?

YellowTreeHouse · 08/10/2022 09:16

Considering they’re not his kids and it would make him late for work I think it’s fair enough.

Original poster

Runrunlikethewind · 08/10/2022 09:18

phishy · 08/10/2022 09:13

It was definitely sarcastic!

Does he contribute correctly to the house, in terms of money/housework?

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In terms of money yes but not in terms of housework

OP posts:

Goldbar · 08/10/2022 09:19

Runrunlikethewind · 08/10/2022 09:02

He’s also just moaned that he thinks I’ll wake him up when I get up and get ready to be in work for 5am

What a twat!

Is he normally like this or is this a one-off?

Shoxfordian · 08/10/2022 09:22

No then he doesn’t contribute
Does he even understand what being a proper partner means?

Goldbar · 08/10/2022 09:22

Runrunlikethewind · 08/10/2022 09:18

In terms of money yes but not in terms of housework

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Ah, so he treats you like a service provider... And now he's annoyed that, instead of being provided with services, he's being asked to step up and help.

SRS29 · 08/10/2022 09:26

Runrunlikethewind · 07/10/2022 22:49

Yep he’s kicked off. Says he doesn’t want to have to sort my kids out. It’s not like I’m asking him to do it every morning

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OP just out of interest how can you live with someone who refers to the children as 'not his kids'? I appreciate strictly speaking they are not but if you are living together as a family unit do you not help each other? Just sounds a bit sad really 🙁......I hope the kids are not aware of his attitude

Greyarea12 · 08/10/2022 09:33

This doesn't sound like a partnership at all. Wondering what you see in him. I would struggle to respect and love someone who behaves like this and sees my kids as an inconvenience.