Husband woke me up with 5.30 alarm so he could do a work out!

[RooksAndRavens]

Dh doesn't work on a Friday. He looks after the dcs, aged 1 and 4. I'm a part time teacher and work on a Friday. My alarm is set for 6.55am and dcs wake up naturally around then too.
Dh has got it in his head that he wants to get up early every morning to do a work out or go for a run. But at 5.30am this morning, his stupid loud alarm went off and woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep.
I think this is really selfish and unfair of him. I'm the one with a demanding job today and need all the sleep I can get. Dc2 is still in our room and has an awful cough at the moment so that's made sleep difficult this week. And I've been struggling with anxiety badly too recently and obviously that has a knock on effect to sleep.

I told dh that he was being unfair but he said that I was awake anyway (absolutely not true) and that most people are up before I get up anyway. He's also just said hoe much better he feels for doing his exercise routine early this morning... that's great, but he won't be teaching thirty 5 year olds today! I feel so exhausted already.

Am I being totally unreasonable here?

I would be asking him to sleep in spare room or sofa.

So because you get up at 5:30-6am, we all should?

Some people just don’t understand. Once I nearly have a nervous breakdown because DH woke me up at midnight to ask a bloody question (he needed to find a key) and I couldn’t fall asleep. That’s me, I can’t fall asleep if someone wakes me up. Believe me I tried, my body just doesn’t work that way, I can’t fall asleep again.

@TLIMSISNW
Yuk know what else is important for physical and mental health? Bloody sleep! Captain obvious! Also it’s very important for physical and mental health to be able to perform well at work, otherwise you see… no money no food no physical health etc etc.
Some people are just so amazingly oblivious and selfish

I get up at 5.15 every day to go to work. He needs the alarm on vibrate. Not under the pillow but by the bed and he needs to creep about not crash about as he gets out of the room and ready.

If this is a relatively new phenomenon then if he keeps it up then his body with adjust and he will likely start waking before the alarm anyway. I usually wake 5.10ish and turn the alarm off before it goes off.

I have a Samsung but you should be able to do pretty much the same with the do not disturb. However I useless with iPhones so don't take my word for it

I'm the one with a demanding job today and need all the sleep I can get.

Isn't the usual mumsnet view that the one who goes to work is the privileged one and that staying at home is an unappreciated but equally arduous job? 😛

You need to apologise sincerely to you husband and recognise that he is facilitating your career by staying at home.

Agreed. But he's also unreasonable to dictate what time she gets up by waking her early.

He needs to find a way of waking up at the time he wants without disturbing others who, by the sound of it, desperately need their sleep.

Seriously though, a cheap fitness band could be an option as many offer a vibrate option which can be set to an alarm. It may also be of use with his workouts for tracking heart rate etc.

I could have written this post!! In fact I have considered it before.

My DH gets up every day at 445 am, yes you read that correctly, to swim and train before work.

He wears his Apple Watch so it just vibrates to wake him up, no alarm goes off.

I'm a terrible and very light sleeper though so inevitably the vibration and him getting up wakes me up. My alarm goes off at 6 so when I'm woken up at 5 there is no chance of me going back to sleep.

It's a tricky one as I'm glad DH is fit and healthy and taking responsibility for his mental and physical health. I would rather not be woken up though.

He's done his best to minimize noise, keeps his kit to swim/train in in another room so I don't hear him getting changed, brushes and showers in a Different bathroom afterwards...but still.....

What on earth are you taking about? Clearly he gets up before the children to work out so that he can look after them during the day

I changed my alarm to a spotify waves on the seashore turned down very low as I hate beeping alarms or being jolted away by them. It vibrates my watch a second or two before the alarm sounds on the phone so it's only going for a second or two.
Ask him to try a non-beeping alarm and one that his watch vibrates with. (and if he doesn't have that watch, you know what to get him for Christmas!)

Isn't the usual mumsnet view that the one who goes to work is the privileged one and that staying at home is an unappreciated but equally arduous job? 😛

No, I think you’re taking it to extremes.

Both partners are important, and both need whatever sleep is available to them, aside from wakings that can’t be helped.

I can’t imagine anyone telling a SAHM they could just wake their working partner at 5.30 for no reason connected to the children.

This is the first time he has ever done this?

I never understand these threads. Obviously, the OP doesn't want to be woken unnecessarily but all this talk of hiding his alarm in the car, purposely "giving him a taste of his own medicine", reading the riot act etc is so confrontational. Do people really behave in the way? Surely the first thing to do is talk to him and compromise?!

The only way I'd be able to do a workout in the morning is if I got up at that sort of time. I couldn't risk an alarm waking up DD so I have a vibration alarm which is on my fitbit. That works. I'd recommend he gets something like that as no, it isn't fair for him to wake you up at that sort of time.

I suspect they do. And their partners do similar to them.

hence the high divorce rate

He needs a vibrating alarm. When I get up v early and DW doesn’t need to I use my Apple Watch vibrate and ninja out of the bedroom and get dressed in another room where I’ve left my stuff the night before…

Could you get him a fitbit type effort (even the cheap amazon ones) as that will vibrate on his wrist and wake him up without disturbing you?

I don't think anyone is being really unreasonable here, there just needs to be some compromise on both parts, you will need to figure out a solution that works for you both.

I suppose you're right. What an exhausting way to live though.

Horrible. Makes me throw my hands up with happiness at i am a single parent and don’t have to deal with the shit I read so often going on in marriages. And baffles me that often the motivation to stay together is for the children. My children don’t have to endure frosty silences between parents, tension, shouting, silences etc.

My DH gets up at 5.15 every morning and his alarm wakes me up. Sorry, but once a week you are being unreasonable.

Does this bother you?

Why would you set a really loud alarm that is going to wake everyone in the first place?

No doubt trying to get back at the OP for something she’d done that pissed him off..,, and so the cycle continues