Page 9 | Husband woke me up with 5.30 alarm so he could do a work out!

RNLD1981 · 07/10/2022 11:04

Clymene · 07/10/2022 11:00

Why would you set a really loud alarm that is going to wake everyone in the first place?

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Anything is loud at 5 am. At least it didn't wake the baby though.

There's been lots of good advice on here for different alarms. I hope the OP and her DH can find a way for her to sleep until 7 and him go for his run/ride

bumpertobumper · 07/10/2022 11:08

Yanbu
I am amazed at how many people are saying it's fine for your dh to wake you an hour and a half early.
I would be furious.
My dh often wakes early to excercise, he leaves the clothes he'll need in the bathroom the night before, has a silent alarm and does his best not to wake me - rarely does. This is normal considerate behaviour.
I am baffled that others think it's acceptable to wake a sleeping partner just because they them selves wake early- we all have different schedules and body clocks.

Op, I hope your dh is apologetic and will find a solution to avoid doing this in future. If this is repeated behaviour then something is amiss with his attitude and all is not well.

amusedbush · 07/10/2022 11:12

For many reasons, DH and I have our own bedrooms and we are both much happier for it. However, his alarm habits are definitely on that list of reasons!

For context, I have terrible insomnia and he is out like a light as soon as his head hits the pillow. I can't get to sleep until late and then I wake frequently until about 4am, which is when I seem to finally doze off. I therefore set my alarm for as late as possible to maximise this stretch of sleep but DH is a "snoozer" and his alarm goes off every 10 minutes for an hour before he needs to get up. To add insult to injury, when we shared a bed I was getting up 30 minutes after him so he was waking me up 90 minutes early every day

Sorry - it's cathartic to have an anonymous whinge I echo PPs who suggested a Fitbit (or similar), though; I wear one and the vibrating alarm is brilliant. It's a much nicer way to be woken than a jarring alarm!

It's understandable that he wants to get up and exercise, get his head clear and set himself up for the day. It's very unreasonable of him not to take steps to minimise any disruption, though, especially when you're working that day.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 07/10/2022 11:20

YANBU @RooksAndRavens.

I would be raging. I'm not joking. I get up at just past 8am, DH is up at 7 and he has a vibrate alarm on his phone so as not to disturb me.

If he took it in his head to wake up 90 minutes before and wake me up in the process, I don't think I could be responsible for my reaction.

Let's be real here - all those talking about 'yes it's irritating but not the end of the world' - we're talking about 0530. That is not a normal time to be getting up in the morning. Sure if he wants to he can, but he needs to take steps to not wake everyone else!

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 07/10/2022 11:21

Feel quite sorry for those of you that have inconsiderate partners or are themselves the inconsiderate ones. We (those of us that are parents in particular) know how debilitating lack of sleep can be. Just why would you do this?!

Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 11:22

I would be raging

I don’t think I have ever read a statement more frequently than I have done so for this on mumsnet

LadyLapsang · 07/10/2022 11:32

So is he waking you at 5.30 every morning?

TheWolves · 07/10/2022 11:34

He needs a smart watch on vibrate. I'd be fuming.

Discovereads · 07/10/2022 11:36

Husband woke me up with 5.30 alarm so he could do a work out!
Dh has got it in his head that he wants to get up early every morning to do a work out or go for a run. But at 5.30am this morning, his stupid loud alarm went off and woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep.
I think this is really selfish and unfair of him. I'm the one with a demanding job today and need all the sleep I can get.
Am I being totally unreasonable here?

Yes YABU. You should be encouraging such a healthy habit as exercise in the morning, not calling him selfish or unfair. This is important self care that every parent should make an effort to do. You don’t see the benefit now, but in fifteen, twenty years it will be blindingly obvious.

Trust me as someone now with teen/grown DCs there are quite a few friends of ours dropping dead due to not having had healthy lifestyles and leaving 18, 20 etc yr old DC behind. Heart attacks used to only strike down the late 30s to late 40s men, now it’s both men and women because we all work demanding jobs.

However, if his alarm is truly loud like a fog horn or rock concert, he should pick a less loud one. Too, as this is a new habit you will also get used to the alarm and be able to sleep through it. Sort of like in my old place the bin men at 4:30am the other side of the wall where I slept woke me up at first with the beep beep of the lorry backing in, the clanking and rolling noises…but after a month, it didn’t even register and I snoozed right through the racket for five years. You can teach yourself to ignore if you give it a bit of time.

Discovereads · 07/10/2022 11:42

Let's be real here - all those talking about 'yes it's irritating but not the end of the world' - we're talking about 0530. That is not a normal time to be getting up in the morning.

Pfft it’s perfectly normal for a morning workout when you’re a busy working parent. I used to start work at 6am and did a morning workout 3x a week M-F. So I’d get up at 4am, throw on workout clothes get to the gym at 4:30 do an hour workout, shower, change and get to office at 6am and eat breakfast at my desk. Then I’d get off at 4pm and hurry home to be with my DC for a bit before making dinner and doing Bath/bed routine. That was when I worked 45-50hr weeks.

BrokenWing · 07/10/2022 11:44

RooksAndRavens · 07/10/2022 07:39

Yes, totally this. And already I'm battling clinical anxiety, two young dcs and a stressful teaching job. Sleep deprivation just adds another layer.

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Sounds like he isn't pulling his weight. Pass onto him more of the two young dc's care, especially when they are unwell, and he wont feel as fresh as a daisy and raring to go at 5:30am!

minipie · 07/10/2022 11:47

YANBU

All the posters saying different alarm - that wouldn’t work for me. I’m a very light sleeper and DH getting up and getting dressed wakes me, even if there’s no alarm at all. And 5.30 onwards is the worst for getting back to sleep.

I’d be telling him to sleep in another room if he wants to do this.

LuckySantangelo35 · 07/10/2022 11:54

Clymene · 07/10/2022 07:25

Clearly he doesn't want to look after the children on Friday. What a selfish arsehole. And yoor husband is even worse @hangryorhungry

@Clymene

the bloke wants to do a workout

keeping fit is important

not sure how you’ve deduced that he doesn’t want to look after his kids

LuckySantangelo35 · 07/10/2022 11:55

Discovereads · 07/10/2022 11:36

Husband woke me up with 5.30 alarm so he could do a work out!
Dh has got it in his head that he wants to get up early every morning to do a work out or go for a run. But at 5.30am this morning, his stupid loud alarm went off and woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep.
I think this is really selfish and unfair of him. I'm the one with a demanding job today and need all the sleep I can get.
Am I being totally unreasonable here?

Yes YABU. You should be encouraging such a healthy habit as exercise in the morning, not calling him selfish or unfair. This is important self care that every parent should make an effort to do. You don’t see the benefit now, but in fifteen, twenty years it will be blindingly obvious.

Trust me as someone now with teen/grown DCs there are quite a few friends of ours dropping dead due to not having had healthy lifestyles and leaving 18, 20 etc yr old DC behind. Heart attacks used to only strike down the late 30s to late 40s men, now it’s both men and women because we all work demanding jobs.

However, if his alarm is truly loud like a fog horn or rock concert, he should pick a less loud one. Too, as this is a new habit you will also get used to the alarm and be able to sleep through it. Sort of like in my old place the bin men at 4:30am the other side of the wall where I slept woke me up at first with the beep beep of the lorry backing in, the clanking and rolling noises…but after a month, it didn’t even register and I snoozed right through the racket for five years. You can teach yourself to ignore if you give it a bit of time.

This!!

moksorineouimoksori · 07/10/2022 12:04

Not being unreasonable. In my opinion sleep is more important than a workout, people underestimate how absolutely vital sleep is. He's deciding himself to wake up at 5:30, that's fine but shouldn't mean you have to wake up then too. He should sleep in another room or set a vibrate alarm and turn it off immediately. 5:30 am workouts don't usually last to long so it remains to be seen whether you'll still have this problem in a week or two... 😁

focuspocus · 07/10/2022 12:05

So many people dismissing the OP's need to sleep. Her needing to sleep doesn't mean that her DH can't exercise. His needs don't outweigh hers. They need to find a way that works for both not just dismiss her need to sleep.

I wish I could sleep through alarms. They don't need to be loud to wake me. Between hormones, unexplained insomnia, kids, DH's snoring, sleep is so disturbed as it is. Like a PP said I can't go back to sleep for a long time after being woken. Then finally falling asleep to be woken up by an alarm when you don't need to be is horrible.

TheSheerCheekOfSomePeople · 07/10/2022 12:05

YANBU. He is BU.

He should have negotiated this first and if not acceptable to you (because you need your sleep!) worked out a way to wake up without disturbing you. He could use a vibrating alarm or his phone on vibrate or put his phone on to make a very quiet gentle alarm from the other side of the room. I do the latter. This ought to wake him given he is primed to want to wake up and he set it but not wake you properly. He should then creep out to get dressed elsewhere in the house. He could also sleep in the spare room or on a sofa bed if you have one and that wouldn't disturb you at all.

No-one steals my sleep without good reason. I also do my best not to steal theirs. Period.

MrsSkylerWhite · 07/10/2022 12:06

TigerRag · Today 07:24
He needs to get an alarm that vibrates so he shouldn't disturb you as much.

This. Or can he sleep in a spare room/on sofa on Thursday nights?
I’d be encouraging the exercise, tbh.

TheSheerCheekOfSomePeople · 07/10/2022 12:07

His needs don't outweigh hers.

Oh but they do according to apologists. Man 'needs' to exercise at a very specific time and wake everyone else up to do it. Man takes priority. [Expletives deleted.]

TheSheerCheekOfSomePeople · 07/10/2022 12:08

@MrsSkylerWhite

Great minds...

LuckySantangelo35 · 07/10/2022 12:08

Maybe he could sit the kids in front of a film
or if they are little in their cot for Half an hour -
45 mins whilst He does a YouTube workout in the afternoon or something

that would work wouldn’t it?

Clymene · 07/10/2022 12:15

@LuckySantangelo35 - I bet you a tenner this is the only day he looks after the children. And he's sabotaging the OP's work by waking her up stupidly early.

The exercise is an excuse. He clearly doesn't set his loud alarm at this time any other day of the week or the OP would have said. It's just the day when he's doing what he sees as women's work - looking after small children.

He may not even be doing it consciously. Probably isn't - most people aren't quite that Machiavellian. But he's doing it.

Ithoughtthiswastherehearsal · 07/10/2022 12:30

Your DH is a selfish wanker. When my DH needs to leave early for work, he sleeps in a different room then tiptoes around the house so he doesn’t wake us!

Tell your DH he needs to sleep on the sofa or get up after 6.30.

Ithoughtthiswastherehearsal · 07/10/2022 12:30

Clymene · 07/10/2022 12:15

@LuckySantangelo35 - I bet you a tenner this is the only day he looks after the children. And he's sabotaging the OP's work by waking her up stupidly early.

The exercise is an excuse. He clearly doesn't set his loud alarm at this time any other day of the week or the OP would have said. It's just the day when he's doing what he sees as women's work - looking after small children.

He may not even be doing it consciously. Probably isn't - most people aren't quite that Machiavellian. But he's doing it.

You’re absolutely right.

saraclara · 07/10/2022 12:34

Clymene · 07/10/2022 12:15

@LuckySantangelo35 - I bet you a tenner this is the only day he looks after the children. And he's sabotaging the OP's work by waking her up stupidly early.

The exercise is an excuse. He clearly doesn't set his loud alarm at this time any other day of the week or the OP would have said. It's just the day when he's doing what he sees as women's work - looking after small children.

He may not even be doing it consciously. Probably isn't - most people aren't quite that Machiavellian. But he's doing it.

Ffs. Read the first three lines of the OP. This is a regular thing.

Dh doesn't work on a Friday. He looks after the dcs, aged 1 and 4. I'm a part time teacher and work on a Friday.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with him wanting to workout before he starts his regular day off sole childcare. The only thing he's done wrong is be thoughtless about the effect of the loud alarm on the rest of his family. That's not on, and hopefully he'll realise it (especially when he wakes a kid up and had to look after it from 5:30 instead of exercising)

Men really can't win. They don't take responsibility for childcare? Bastards.
They take responsibility for childcare? Bastards.

You must have worked really hard to make a one off loud alarm into a rant about him clearly being a misogynist.