Page 11 | Husband woke me up with 5.30 alarm so he could do a work out!

RooksAndRavens · 2022-10-07T06:20:07+00:00

Dh doesn't work on a Friday. He looks after the dcs, aged 1 and 4. I'm a part time teacher and work on a Friday. My alarm is set for 6.55am and dcs wake up naturally around then too. Dh has got it in his head that he wants to get up early every morning to do a work out or go for a run. But at 5.30am this morning, his stupid loud alarm went off and woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep. I think this is really selfish and unfair of him. I'm the one with a demanding job today and need all the sleep I can get. Dc2 is still in our room and has an awful cough at the moment so that's made sleep difficult this week. And I've been struggling with anxiety badly too recently and obviously that has a knock on effect to sleep. I told dh that he was being unfair but he said that I was awake anyway (absolutely not true) and that most people are up before I get up anyway. He's also just said hoe much better he feels for doing his exercise routine early this morning... that's great, but he won't be teaching thirty 5 year olds today! I feel so exhausted already. Am I being totally unreasonable here?

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 07/10/2022 16:00

Let’s make a bad (sleep) situation worse because who the fuck cares that the wife has to get up for work in an hour and a half anyway? That’s your solution?

Great. Got you. Glad I don’t have a relationship like yours where basic consideration when a person is sleeping at five thirty in the fucking morning goes out the door when someone wants to get up and do an activity for themselves.

NormalNans · 07/10/2022 16:02

TheGoodFighter · 07/10/2022 09:58

How can anyone be so self absorbed?

I get up at stupid oclock, so you should too.

Christ. Unbelievable

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You see, this works both ways ‘I don’t like getting up early so no one else should either’, even if that means that you don’t get to do the thing which helps your physical and mental health. Surely the key is compromise? Get up quietly so you don’t wake the other person, but to try and control what time someone gets up because it doesn’t fit your schedule strikes me as quite self obsessed.

NormalNans · 07/10/2022 16:11

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 07/10/2022 15:36

Again, the point is that he’s decided that because he’s getting up, there’s no reason for him to try and not wake her because she’s also getting up at some point. And he’s using ‘I’m exercising’ to make it seem virtuous.

Hands up who’d still be on the husband’s side if he said he was getting up early to game because that was the only time to do it? Yeah, thought not.

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If someone needed to do that for their mental health and they were finding a way of building it into their day without it impacting on other people’s time then fair enough.

Just as a note, asking a question, assuming you know everybody’s response to it because it’s definitely right and ending with ‘thought not’ is up there with ‘HTH’, ‘fixed that for you’ and ‘Fact’ in terms of passive aggression in my opinion. It’s not a great strategy when it comes to sensible discussion and undermines any sort of valid point you want to make.

Discovereads · 07/10/2022 16:13

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 07/10/2022 16:00

Let’s make a bad (sleep) situation worse because who the fuck cares that the wife has to get up for work in an hour and a half anyway? That’s your solution?

Great. Got you. Glad I don’t have a relationship like yours where basic consideration when a person is sleeping at five thirty in the fucking morning goes out the door when someone wants to get up and do an activity for themselves.

Is this to me? In case it was…
No, that wasn’t my solution and I’m all for consideration.

soberfabulous · 07/10/2022 16:14

ZealAndArdour · 07/10/2022 12:36

I’m pretty sure there’s a function on some of the smart watches where you can set it so that your alarm is a persistent vibration on your wrist instead of a sound. Perhaps your husband needs to get one of those, he can use it to track his workout as well 😂

I posted earlier that my husband does this. His watch vibrates at 445 am which is when he gets up every day to exercise. The problem is that even this and the getting out of bed wakes me as I'm a very light sleeper. I wear ear plugs but am still awake at 5 am every day. What to do?! 😬

Discovereads · 07/10/2022 16:17

Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 15:57

I’m on his side because I’ve had under 60 friends and relatives recently die

WTF? That’s a thread in itself

Under age 60. Sorry

Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:22

Ah I see!

Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:23

soberfabulous · 07/10/2022 16:14

I posted earlier that my husband does this. His watch vibrates at 445 am which is when he gets up every day to exercise. The problem is that even this and the getting out of bed wakes me as I'm a very light sleeper. I wear ear plugs but am still awake at 5 am every day. What to do?! 😬

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Talk to him?

Explain the vibration wakes you

ask that he consider a different alarm clock ie the ones that slowly emit a light by his side of the bed.

GloriousGlory · 07/10/2022 16:30

Clymene · 07/10/2022 07:25

Clearly he doesn't want to look after the children on Friday. What a selfish arsehole. And yoor husband is even worse @hangryorhungry

So getting up early to work out means that he's back to look after the children? But you think he's doing it to not look after the children?

Something tells me you're dating this as he is male? He just must be wrong somehow.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 07/10/2022 16:32

@NormalNans it was meant to be pass agg. HTH.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 07/10/2022 16:35

Discovereads · 07/10/2022 16:13

Is this to me? In case it was…
No, that wasn’t my solution and I’m all for consideration.

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No you’re right it wasn’t a solution. It was a soliloquy about how parents shouldn’t expect to sleep when their children are small. That was his reason for no apologising and saying he’ll try and be more considerate in the future.

Discovereads · 07/10/2022 16:37

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 07/10/2022 16:35

No you’re right it wasn’t a solution. It was a soliloquy about how parents shouldn’t expect to sleep when their children are small. That was his reason for no apologising and saying he’ll try and be more considerate in the future.

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Why did you post a non solution then? That’s not very helpful.

Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:40

It’s AIBU?

Discovereads · 07/10/2022 16:41

Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:23

Talk to him?

Explain the vibration wakes you

ask that he consider a different alarm clock ie the ones that slowly emit a light by his side of the bed.

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If the even getting out of bed wakes you though, not much you can do other than consider sleeping separately. What wakes you about the getting out of bed? If it’s the mattress shifting, then could try two twin mattresses instead of one king mattress. Or if got the money, they do make king mattresses that are internally seperate so one person getting up, rolling over, sitting down doesn’t even affect the other half of the mattress.

Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:46

Discovereads · 07/10/2022 16:41

If the even getting out of bed wakes you though, not much you can do other than consider sleeping separately. What wakes you about the getting out of bed? If it’s the mattress shifting, then could try two twin mattresses instead of one king mattress. Or if got the money, they do make king mattresses that are internally seperate so one person getting up, rolling over, sitting down doesn’t even affect the other half of the mattress.

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But the poster says nothing about actually talking to her partner about it.

it’s making her unhappy.

GloriousGlory · 07/10/2022 16:46

TheSheerCheekOfSomePeople · 07/10/2022 12:07

His needs don't outweigh hers.

Oh but they do according to apologists. Man 'needs' to exercise at a very specific time and wake everyone else up to do it. Man takes priority. [Expletives deleted.]

He woke the OP not everyone else!

Discovereads · 07/10/2022 16:48

Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:46

But the poster says nothing about actually talking to her partner about it.

it’s making her unhappy.

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Oh, I agree with you & your post 100%. I was just trying to add on to your good advice, not arguing against it as something else for her to consider.

I need to think up some sort of disclaimer or byline when I do that so you’d know.

Discovereads · 07/10/2022 16:50

GloriousGlory · 07/10/2022 16:46

He woke the OP not everyone else!

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Yeah, the baby in the same room slept right through the “stupid loud alarm”…

Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 16:52

Discovereads · 07/10/2022 16:48

Oh, I agree with you & your post 100%. I was just trying to add on to your good advice, not arguing against it as something else for her to consider.

I need to think up some sort of disclaimer or byline when I do that so you’d know.

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Gotcha!

wb3 · 07/10/2022 16:55

He's an idiot.
Staying at home and looking after kids is easy.

He should try working part time like the OP.

GloriousGlory · 07/10/2022 16:55

Clymene · 07/10/2022 12:15

@LuckySantangelo35 - I bet you a tenner this is the only day he looks after the children. And he's sabotaging the OP's work by waking her up stupidly early.

The exercise is an excuse. He clearly doesn't set his loud alarm at this time any other day of the week or the OP would have said. It's just the day when he's doing what he sees as women's work - looking after small children.

He may not even be doing it consciously. Probably isn't - most people aren't quite that Machiavellian. But he's doing it.

You're such a misandrist! First it's because he dies t want to look after the children, now it's because he sees it as woman's work?

Christ he set his alarm early to exercise, it's not some sort of evil ploy that as a man he's devised as he hates his family life?

Fucking hell how can you have such an anti men thought process.

You do know loads of men don't hate women or family life? OP had not indicated anything other than he's woken her up early with a loud alarm.

Nothing indicates she's even spoken to him about it.

I'll assume you're single?

GloriousGlory · 07/10/2022 16:57

wb3 · 07/10/2022 16:55

He's an idiot.
Staying at home and looking after kids is easy.

He should try working part time like the OP.

Said no one to a stay at home mum!

By the way, he doesn't work on a Friday...... not he doesn't work!

So maybe read the OP and then accept he's not an idiot and he hasn't got an easy life?

GloriousGlory · 07/10/2022 16:59

@Discovereads read the second of OPs posts? Do you know how to filter?

Or do you have comprehension issues, he didn't wake the baby which is very surprising as you'll agree if the alarm was that stupidly loud?

You need to read, get the facts or you look very stupid!

GloriousGlory · 07/10/2022 17:00

GloriousGlory · 07/10/2022 16:59

@Discovereads read the second of OPs posts? Do you know how to filter?

Or do you have comprehension issues, he didn't wake the baby which is very surprising as you'll agree if the alarm was that stupidly loud?

You need to read, get the facts or you look very stupid!

Apologies @Discovereads I think you may have been agreeing with me?

Doingprettywellthanks · 07/10/2022 17:00

GloriousGlory · 07/10/2022 16:59

@Discovereads read the second of OPs posts? Do you know how to filter?

Or do you have comprehension issues, he didn't wake the baby which is very surprising as you'll agree if the alarm was that stupidly loud?

You need to read, get the facts or you look very stupid!

A little… aggressive?