Quick backstory:
I moved to the EU to work as an au pair aged 27. I met DP and we pursued a relationship- he was 40 at the time.
Flashforward 1 Yr, we are living in his rental house in derelict part of the countryside. I'm pregnant.
We move during the pregnancy ( I wanted to be in the city , near opportunity). His friend offers cheap flat in very rough estate, I agree. I'm desperate to move.
Hes admittedly 'not worked for 20yrs'. Always relying on state and black money through projects and gigs. I was sick of being broke, so i set up an online business 18months ago.
This is the first full year of the business and it is set to turnover 200k. Now DP wants 50-50 partnership in it (changes status next year to limited company). I have my reservations because:
-we have a volatile relationship
-he has a drug problem
-he has unresolved past bank issues/ fines
-he does black money / illegal parties
-if he doesn't 'feel like' working he won't, (but he has got better)
-we had very traumatic couple years when DS was baby as he would disappear and party with his (20 years younger) mates and be wrecked all weekend.
-he never wanted me to legitimise the business in the first place, he wanted to stay on benefits and I said I didn't want this.
Granted, he's given good pointers to the business and now helps a lot because it makes money. That said the other issues still exist re drugs (disappearing / lying) and still, undeclared income.
Also,
-We aren't married. I bought the house we live in outright earlier this year.
-Every single bill is on my name.
He does
-almost 50 50 childcare
-all the practical house stuff including renovation works since we moved in earlier this year.
-most of paperwork because it's more convient (re language).
I come from a large family with plenty of support emotionally and financially. He comes from the complete opposite thus has nobody to talk to. This also means something regarding the epic power struggle between us.
DS is now 4 and in school. I work full time very hard, DP works when necessary but does other stuff and also has his own side project which is his passion and priority in life.
DP had a relapse this weekend and has been sick and useless all week because of it.
Yeaterday, after advice from a relative, I proposed he become a (well) paid employee he went ballistic. I mean ballistic. AIBU that I don't trust signing over half my business when I don't fully trust him? Very complex , any advice warmly welcomed!!
(For the record i have nothing against state benefits, I just did not want to raise my child on them. )