Table at cafe

[Gisellenextdoor]

I'm originally from a different country although I've lived here most of my adult life so I just want to know if this is considered ok or rude in the UK, as I thought it was rude.

I was meeting a friend today in a lovely cafe with an outdoor area overlooking a beautiful natural reserve. It was a beautiful sunny day but still a bit cold so understandably everyone wanted to sit at the tables in the sun, there were a few in the shade.

My friend texted me to say she was 20 mins late so I waited a bit and grabbed a table in the sun and sat down for a couple of mins. Then I thought I should get myself some tea in the meantime (it's a self service), so I left my jacket on the chair and went inside to buy tea. When I came back out 3 women grabbed my table and removed the chair with my jacket on and pushed it to the side. I should say there were 2 other tables which were free but they were in the shade. I came and said sorry that was my table and you just removed my chair with my belongings on. She uttered an 'sorry but...', didn't even look at me and the 3 of them carried on with their conversation.

Anyway, I grabbed a table in the shade, my friend came and we moved on.

AIBU to think that's rude? Or is it OK to remove someone's belonging and get their table?

Of course, my coat had a life of its own 😀

It's rude to bag a table before you've made a purchase. Sorry.

You need a cafe with table service.

No one actually cares about this and everyone does it aside from it being "thing" on here like asking for money for a wedding gift. Bonkers. Hardly any cafes have table service especially just for drinks. It's common practice.

The table nabbers probably read too many of these threads and thought they had some kind of bonkers moral superiority.

Agreed.

I haven't seen a place specifying that you need to get food before you sit for actual decades. They must still exist, maybe service stations and cafes in gardens? All our local garden centers encourage you to sit first, most places that you can order food you need a table number and most businesses have one moved past the frankly bonkers idea of giving people a sit down meal without a place to sit down and eat it

A bit of both really. You should really order first and then find a seat (unless in a group so one orders and the rest sit). But they were rude moving your stuff.

It happened to us once when we were at a buffet. We just moved our stuff back and theirs out of the way!!!

What if there are no tables available after ordering food and drinks? Where's the logic! Phew! No wonder Britain is going down the drain!

I feel the main issue here is that OP is from a different country, and questioned British etiquette and manners, which some entitled British idiots here did not like. The people here who have said OP was rude to 'grab' a table are the exact same entitled idiots who will remove a coat or bag or hat to occupy a table.

That is rude I often leave something there so they know there's someone sat there. I would never move someone's belongings unless I thought they weren't coming back and had forgotten it to hand to staff. If you say you have ordered food to this table they will sometimes move.

Some of the replies in this thread are bonkers, but that’s mn for you 🤣
Different strokes for different folks and all that.

Op, every cafe/food place I’ve been too
(where it’s non table service) the majority (99%) of people find a table first, then go & order. It’s very normal.

Where is the logic in ordering first then finding a table afterwards, only to find there are no tables?!

I really wouldn’t worry about this so called table etiquette or people thinking you are being rude, honestly, it’s really not & it’s not a ‘thing’

Thank you 😀

OceanbreezeSun · Yesterday 22:43
Some of the replies in this thread are bonkers, but that’s mn for you 🤣
Different strokes for different folks and all that.
Op, every cafe/food place I’ve been too
(where it’s non table service) the majority (99%) of people find a table first, then go & order. It’s very normal.
Where is the logic in ordering first then finding a table afterwards, only to find there are no tables?!
I really wouldn’t worry about this so called table etiquette or people thinking you are being rude, honestly, it’s really not & it’s not a ‘thing’

Yes, I agree on the whole - it's usually a matter of 'reading the room' since different cafes will have different systems. I think the OP was a bit unreasonable to sit down without a drink to wait for her mate, but on the other hand, I wouldn't have moved someone else's things (though I would have resented them...)

OP said that there were other tables available, so not such a stressful situation really. But I still think it's entitled to 'bag' tables. If you queue up for your food and then turn around with a full tray to find every table taken, many by people whose 'representatives' are much further back in the queue - what do you do? Isn't it a form of queue jumping? It just makes so much more sense to me that people with food and drink should have priority for tables, not those sitting waiting.

Cafes are often small and crowded and I've witnessed many variations on the cafe table drama over the years. People who would rather like YOUR table, and keep making loud hints to that effect; people who sit for ages over empty cups and plates while others stand with trays. But the most entertainment came from two women closing in on a table in the old Liberty's cafe in London. They had been waiting for it to become available, and both reached it at the same time. Two very well-dressed ladies and almost a fisticuffs! Great fun to watch from your own cosy table...

Tea then table for me

I don’t think it’s rude to bag a table if you’re on your own before getting food, etc. otherwise you run the risk of there being not table free when you’re standing with a tray of food. I just won’t go to places now which are so full there’s that risk because I find it so stressful. And groups do this, I see families all sitting at a table while one person goes to order.

but they were certainly rude. I’d have been tempted to sit down with them at the table and join in their conversation 😁

They had no way of knowing what stage you were at in eating/ordering/waiting/loo. So whether you had ordered first or not is beside the point. (And no, ordering first then table is not the rule - even past mumsnet threads on this rub 50/50.)

They were very rude.

This is a bone of contention on cruise ships.
While there is no going up to the counter and ordering,( passengers just help themselves to food )
There are many who fill up their tray and then wonder around looking for a seat.
DH and I find a table and then take it in turns to go up to the buffet. The most sensible way I think but there are others who think this is wrong and complain.

Both were rude - you for blocking a table when you weren’t already using it for the purpose it was intended for (eating/drinking food fro the cafe) ad them for moving your coat - although they probably thought that as they already had their food/drinks they were free to choose a table that wasn’t being used at the time. The sunbed analogy is a good one.

I once went to a cafe, left my baby in her pram next to it and a coat on a chair, came back to find 2 men sat around the table (there were plenty of others available) "oh, we didn't realise anyone was sat here"
Made them move and told them to not be so bloody ridiculous!

I agree that the form is to get your order in then find a table - in fact there are sometimes signs that say this. Equally, there are some times signs that say know your table number before ordering! Of course it is easier with a companion to sit at the table.
As you had already claimed the table they should have respected that. Even worse if they had arrived after you and were still to go in to order themselves!!

^^This. Your jacket doesn't need its own table.

hmm, I’d say it depends.
it’s a bit rude to bag a table and get food, but it’s accepted that people will do it as you don’t want to come out and there’s no tables.
however I wouldn’t move someone’s stuff as it’s obvious they’re sitting there.
if a busy cafe I’d probably wait nearby without getting a table or a drink and hope a table is free before a friend arrives. If quiet I’d grab table and also wait for friend, but not order until they arrive.

I'm on the "get your food before you sit down" side.

If there's a long queue to get served, the people at the front of that queue should get the free tables first. Not fair for someone to be sat at a table not eating or drinking if there are people wandering around with a full tray (I realise that it wasn't full in your case, I just mean in principle)

When I go to a cafe with DD I always put our stuff on the table first. This isn't rude at all. Everyone is selfish. I can't carry our drinks and our stuff and keep an eye on her all while not knowing if we have a table. Screw everyone else look after number 1, everyone else does.

I think "screw everyone else look after number 1" is pretty much the epitome of rude @LetsPlayShadowlands . If you are going to do it you may as well own it.

WTF are you on about...they had no way of knowing OP wasn't eating....except she wasn't at the table, eating, so obviously they did!