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AIBU?

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Original poster

Table at cafe

177 replies

Gisellenextdoor · 06/10/2022 19:00

I'm originally from a different country although I've lived here most of my adult life so I just want to know if this is considered ok or rude in the UK, as I thought it was rude.

I was meeting a friend today in a lovely cafe with an outdoor area overlooking a beautiful natural reserve. It was a beautiful sunny day but still a bit cold so understandably everyone wanted to sit at the tables in the sun, there were a few in the shade.

My friend texted me to say she was 20 mins late so I waited a bit and grabbed a table in the sun and sat down for a couple of mins. Then I thought I should get myself some tea in the meantime (it's a self service), so I left my jacket on the chair and went inside to buy tea. When I came back out 3 women grabbed my table and removed the chair with my jacket on and pushed it to the side. I should say there were 2 other tables which were free but they were in the shade. I came and said sorry that was my table and you just removed my chair with my belongings on. She uttered an 'sorry but...', didn't even look at me and the 3 of them carried on with their conversation.

Anyway, I grabbed a table in the shade, my friend came and we moved on.

AIBU to think that's rude? Or is it OK to remove someone's belonging and get their table?

OP posts:
SD1978 · 07/10/2022 11:21

Both rude- table bagging pre ordering gets kinda up my nose TBH, however moving your stuff is brass necked rude.

donquixotedelamancha · 07/10/2022 11:22

See also: reserving sunbeds with towels. I'd chuck it in the pool.

While someone went to the bar for a minute to get a drink, like the OP?

I noticed you used the conditional tense, you will find if you actually do this a lot you will end up getting punched in the face.

If you'd used the past tense I'd have advised getting psychiatric help.

MrsSkylerWhite · 07/10/2022 11:24

CuriousCatfish · Yesterday 19:03
I think you should have bought your tea before you bagged a table“

this. The other people should, too, though.

Smileeriley · 07/10/2022 11:29

This has happened to me before..I'd actually gone to change my baby.they had moved everything even the buggy so I just sat down and two mins later my food arrived and they left.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 07/10/2022 11:35

Of course you get your table sorted before ordering! No one wanders around with a bloody tray trying to find somewhere to sit.

However, a few days ago I was in a café, I had actually ordered but nipped to the loo, my things were at the table. I came back to find a group sitting there. I parked myself in the free seat, they got the hump because there wasn't enough room for their party now (the other was ordering). Erm.. Move then.

SoUpset1984 · 07/10/2022 11:55

I had this in a fast food place.
Lefty 3 kids sitting with their food,went to collect my own.
Came back to a strange man sitting in my seat😂.

I told him to shift.
Weirdo.

Heatherbell1978 · 07/10/2022 11:58

I think this was incredibly rude - the fact you clearly had your coat on it should be enough to deter someone from sitting. That said I do get annoyed when I'm waiting in a queue at a coffee shop and people come in after me and grab tables before they've received their drinks. In this case though it looks like you got there first anyway so probably not relevant.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/10/2022 12:08

I think the idea that EVERYONE has to stand in the queue quite bizarre. I go to Starbucks with DS. It's a long narrow shop. If I stand with DH, DS and a double buggy we risk blocking access / are queuing halfway down the till. You get a group of mates come in behind - three women, two buggies and a couple of kids. Queue is now half way down the shop. Single woman joins. Then a Dad with two grown kids. Then three guy together. Queue is at the door for what's basically 5 orders. Meanwhile I've been served but there's no large tables clear so I'm in the remaining space with a tray full of hot drinks and hot food whilst numerous toddlers are milling round parents legs.

Or, we see if there's a table. DH sits and I queue. The group of Mom's come in, look for a table, one queues and they either rotate in the queue or she orders for them all. Dad comes in and grabs a table whilst the kids go to the till. Single woman chucks a coat on a table and joins the queue. One guy sits and two guys get the drink for all. There's 7 max in the queue instead of 20 and when YOU come in you get an accurate idea of a. How many tables are free b. How long the queue is.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/10/2022 12:12

SoUpset1984 · 07/10/2022 11:55

I had this in a fast food place.
Lefty 3 kids sitting with their food,went to collect my own.
Came back to a strange man sitting in my seat😂.

I told him to shift.
Weirdo.

I'd have been tempted to say "free babysitter, awesome, here's their food I'll be back in two hours"

FinallyHere · 07/10/2022 12:13

Did they already have food/drinks?

I think that would make a difference.

From the cafe's point of view, three people wanting to eat/drink what they have already purchased would deserve priority over someone who had not yet bought anything and whose plans might change so they never actually get anything.

If you had bought something before sitting down, would the three people come and tried to get you to move? I don't think so.

OceanbreezeSun · 07/10/2022 12:21

Yes, that was rude of them.

I don’t see how it’s rude to get a table first then order if it isn’t table service though?
I do this all the time, especially if I’m with my toddler dd. I obviously wouldn’t bat an eyelid if someone else did it either. It’s not like I’m sat looking idle waiting at the table for half an hour!

BatshitBanshee · 07/10/2022 12:27

You're both rude, she could have spoken to you directly but taking tables before even getting a drink is the height of rudeness.

What if I got the tea and had nowhere to sit?

Which is what would have happened to these ladies except they had food. You were being a CF.

OneTC · 07/10/2022 12:34

BatshitBanshee · 07/10/2022 12:27

You're both rude, she could have spoken to you directly but taking tables before even getting a drink is the height of rudeness.

What if I got the tea and had nowhere to sit?

Which is what would have happened to these ladies except they had food. You were being a CF.

There were enough less preferable tables.

The places that require you get to your stuff first before you sit down are normally clearly sign posted because it's not the default in most places IME, and never has been

OneTC · 07/10/2022 12:34

*other less preferable tables sorry

Original poster
Gisellenextdoor · 07/10/2022 12:57

FinallyHere · 07/10/2022 12:13

Did they already have food/drinks?

I think that would make a difference.

From the cafe's point of view, three people wanting to eat/drink what they have already purchased would deserve priority over someone who had not yet bought anything and whose plans might change so they never actually get anything.

If you had bought something before sitting down, would the three people come and tried to get you to move? I don't think so.

There were plenty of free tables in the cafe!

OP posts:
notallcupsinthecupboard · 07/10/2022 12:58

A couple of years ago I was at Tate Britain with my 2 year old daughter. I got myself a cup of tea, her a hot chocolate, and we were sharing a piece of cake. We sat down and then she said she needed the toilet. So I left all our food (not yet touched) on a table with our coats and took her to the toilet. When we got back some people had taken our table and refused to give it back. They had moved all our stuff to one side. What are you supposed to do if you are on your own / with a child? It is incredibly rude. Back then I grabbed our stuff and we finished our drinks standing up. Now I would not stand for it but back then I was less confident. Now live in Germany where table service is usual. It is much more relaxed and I can't imagine the above scenario happening here.

Original poster
Gisellenextdoor · 07/10/2022 13:06

FinallyHere · 07/10/2022 12:13

Did they already have food/drinks?

I think that would make a difference.

From the cafe's point of view, three people wanting to eat/drink what they have already purchased would deserve priority over someone who had not yet bought anything and whose plans might change so they never actually get anything.

If you had bought something before sitting down, would the three people come and tried to get you to move? I don't think so.

The did have their food and drinks but there were plenty of tables they could sit at. They got mine because it was in a better spot. It was a sunny day and a beautiful view and the tables in the sun were busy at all times.

I get that people get worked up about others 'bagging' a table before getting food and drinks IF the place was packed. This wasn't.

OP posts:
CallTheMobWife · 07/10/2022 13:07

Gisellenextdoor · 07/10/2022 13:06

The did have their food and drinks but there were plenty of tables they could sit at. They got mine because it was in a better spot. It was a sunny day and a beautiful view and the tables in the sun were busy at all times.

I get that people get worked up about others 'bagging' a table before getting food and drinks IF the place was packed. This wasn't.

Show quote history

If there were plenty of tables to sit at, you didn't have a problem getting a table. They didn't get yours, you didn;t have one. Your coat did!

Original poster
Gisellenextdoor · 07/10/2022 13:07

notallcupsinthecupboard · 07/10/2022 12:58

A couple of years ago I was at Tate Britain with my 2 year old daughter. I got myself a cup of tea, her a hot chocolate, and we were sharing a piece of cake. We sat down and then she said she needed the toilet. So I left all our food (not yet touched) on a table with our coats and took her to the toilet. When we got back some people had taken our table and refused to give it back. They had moved all our stuff to one side. What are you supposed to do if you are on your own / with a child? It is incredibly rude. Back then I grabbed our stuff and we finished our drinks standing up. Now I would not stand for it but back then I was less confident. Now live in Germany where table service is usual. It is much more relaxed and I can't imagine the above scenario happening here.

🙄. Gosh...that's terrible.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gisellenextdoor · 07/10/2022 13:09

CallTheMobWife · 07/10/2022 13:07

If there were plenty of tables to sit at, you didn't have a problem getting a table. They didn't get yours, you didn;t have one. Your coat did!

Show quote history

OK..Great logic

OP posts:
AmuckAmuckAmuck · 07/10/2022 13:13

I recall reading about a guy who went to Toby Carvery, leaving his expensive Belstaff coat on the back of his chair when he went up for his food. It was stolen.
If we go for a Carvery now I make DH leave his coat in the car 😂

CallTheMobWife · 07/10/2022 13:15

Gisellenextdoor · 07/10/2022 13:09

OK..Great logic

Show quote history

It's the only logic. You didn't have a table. You weren't at a table. You left your coat at a table, that does not mean you had a table.
It's not a sunbed in Benidorm.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/10/2022 13:18

CallTheMobWife · 07/10/2022 13:15

It's the only logic. You didn't have a table. You weren't at a table. You left your coat at a table, that does not mean you had a table.
It's not a sunbed in Benidorm.

Show quote history

So if op had ordered, there had been an error so she'd say down, had a sip, got up and gone to complain it was tea not coffee, her table is taking? , because only her coat is sat there? Or you finish a cuppa, go to the loo and intend to get coffee on the way back. Are yo u seriously saying people don't have a table in that gap because its their cost not them left there??

outtheshowernow · 07/10/2022 13:21

I don't think it was rude. You can't save a table You were rude actually

HauntedPencil · 07/10/2022 13:24

Of course you can save a table to get your drink. If you were with a friend one of you would have sat and waited and one of you would have popped to get a drink.