Table at cafe

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I'm originally from a different country although I've lived here most of my adult life so I just want to know if this is considered ok or rude in the UK, as I thought it was rude.

I was meeting a friend today in a lovely cafe with an outdoor area overlooking a beautiful natural reserve. It was a beautiful sunny day but still a bit cold so understandably everyone wanted to sit at the tables in the sun, there were a few in the shade.

My friend texted me to say she was 20 mins late so I waited a bit and grabbed a table in the sun and sat down for a couple of mins. Then I thought I should get myself some tea in the meantime (it's a self service), so I left my jacket on the chair and went inside to buy tea. When I came back out 3 women grabbed my table and removed the chair with my jacket on and pushed it to the side. I should say there were 2 other tables which were free but they were in the shade. I came and said sorry that was my table and you just removed my chair with my belongings on. She uttered an 'sorry but...', didn't even look at me and the 3 of them carried on with their conversation.

Anyway, I grabbed a table in the shade, my friend came and we moved on.

AIBU to think that's rude? Or is it OK to remove someone's belonging and get their table?

I don't live in the UK but putting something on the chair/table is usually acceptable here. ah yes but this IS in the UK and we have our own norms. This is why there are so many jokes about Germans hogging the sun loungers by putting a towel on them. In the UK this is rude in most places. You pay first and THEN sit.

Yeah, the very polite British are annoyed at the Germans hogging the sun loungers 😂

If you're in a hotel and shown to a table it'd be fairly ok to leave a handbag with limited valuables there.

If it's you and a child, would you really get your order and then wander around?

@Whatbusiness its a very old stereotype, Google German towels on sun beds and look at the images.

@Orders76 well yes because I wouldn’t leave my baby to wander off to the counter. If we were a big group I’d probably sit everyone down and then one or two people go and get the food/drinks.

I said you and your baby. On your hip for example.
Surely you don't cart everything around with a baby or buggy after ordering, if by oneself.
Each to their own though.

"In some cafés though (including the one where I work) you order at the till, but you actually have to have a table before you can order so we can have a table number to know where to bring the food out too."

This is so tricky for a single person. I've chosen a table, noted a number, ordered at the bar and got back to find one half of a couple sitting at it while the other is off to the bar to order with the same number!

Now if eating alone I drape coat/cardigan/scarf, whatever I have to save the seat.

I very rarely see two halves of a couple/pair of friends at the counter together. One of them is always saving a table.

Nothing rude about getting a table before ordering food and drinks. This is what happens in all 'order at the bar' type places.
OP clearly says she left her jacket on the chair, not stuff on the table!

YABU for all the ‘grabbing’… it’s all grab these days, grab a coffee, grab a table.. ☹️

Exactly. I would have done the same. First question to them - are you all English? Ffs

Bagsying tables is usually done by sending another person to sit there, which is one reason why it’s not usually done - because it’s not fair on people who are on their own and don’t have that opportunity. My understanding was always you don’t grab a table until you’ve ordered.

😂

😅😅

In fact you never leave your stuff unattended or it will get stolen - That's correct. All the unattended stuff that Brits stole from all over the world are displayed proudly in the British Museum 😁

🤣

Favourite post of the day 😍

Back in the day, it used to be the norm to buy food and drink and then go and find a table. Sometimes you'd be walking around for a while looking for somewhere to sit.
These days, in my experience, it tends to be the case that, as mentioned above, you need a table number to order food which logically means that you need to get a table first. It all depends on whether the staff will be bringing food to you after you've ordered or not. It's not always obvious when you first arrive.
I don't feel you were rude for nabbing a table and leaving your possessions to reserve it. I DO believe it's rude to move someone's stuff and sit down, though.

DH and I were in a cafe recently where trays had not been cleared from tables, we saw a nice table, removed the tray to another nearby table and sat down, only to have the couple whose table it was (they had got tea and coffee, left them on a tray then both gone to get food) return to the table looking a bit surprised at us sitting there. We, of course, did the obvious thing, apologised and moved, returning their (as it turned out) very obviously untouched tea and coffee from the other table before we did so. Embarrassing; but they were very gracious and we felt like fools.

This is what happens in all 'order at the bar' type places.
well obviously not given the number of people who’ve said pay first.

I was greeted by a staff member who told me to go out and grab a table. In this case I think what you did is normal and expected; the staff member must have seen you'd just come in and hadn't got food or drink yet. I suppose you could have picked up your jacket and gone to get your tea and taken a different table if someone else sat at yours, but if it was only tea you can't have been gone for more than a few minutes, and there were other tables available for the newcomers to use.

I frequently have lunch on my own as I WFH, and I would leave my jacket at a table if I'd been there for a bit and went to the loo or to get something else from the bar/self-service. I would think the people who sat at your table would have assumed this was the case when they saw your jacket. It's possible that they thought someone had left her jacket behind by accident, but in that case they would have given it to a staff member rather than pushing the chair away. IME, reasonable people would've offered to switch to another table when you came back and said you'd been sitting there. (But I might also just take my jacket and switch if I thought they'd made an honest mistake, as it's multiple people already tucked in eating.)

I think it's quite acceptable if you are alone to bagsy a table. People in pairs or groups do it. It's ridiculous to expect people to buy food or drinks and then walk about trying to find a table. If I can't guarantee a seat first then I'm not going to stay there.

I always grab a table and then order. Ridiculous to suggest that’s rude. Otherwise you end up buying food with nowhere to sit. People are nuts.

Exactly this - I don't think it's rude at all to grab a table first. They were nasty rude bitches, the audacity of some people!

I've always found a table first. What's the point of ordering food and standing like a lemon, with it going cold, waiting for somewhere to sit? We find a table, sit the children down, then go and order.

The general consensus with this when it's come up on MN before is that it's selfish to reserve when there are people in the queue who aren't able to reserve (either on their own or with small children etc).

Objectively, this is true and leaves some rightly pissed off at not being able to sit down while there are people sitting down already with no food and drink.

The real problem with this is when people play by different sets of rules. If you have half the cafe users reserving tables in advance (however they choose to do that) and half abiding by not sitting until they've paid for their food, you're always going to have an issue. It needs to be set out very clearly per restaurant to stop the problems before they start.